Handing in my notice

MissDanielle

I'll keep this short and sweet.

I've been signed off with mental health, I originally thought I'd be going back to work and I can but I can't go back to my current job. I can't deal with the embarrassment of everyone knowing my business. But, how can I ever get a new job if on my reference my boss tells the employer I was on sick leave for five months? I know if I hand my notice in I can ask her for a favour to not mention it but To be honest I feel cheeky after not being there

Thank you :money:

Sncjw

Just say you have come to the realisation that you are no longer able to cope in current job. Therefore you wish to resign from your role and the date of resignation.


However I think you should tell management about your colleagues being horrible about your issue. They could probably sort it out.

Sncjw

Are you able to survive when your sick pay stops when you resign untill you get pay from a new job

ScorpiondeRooftrouser

Sncjw wrote: »

Just say you have come to the realisation that you are no longer able to cope in current job. Therefore you wish to resign from your role and the date of resignation.


However I think you should tell management about your colleagues being horrible about your issue. They could probably sort it out.

She said she "can't deal with the embarrassment of everyone knowing my business". Where does anyone being "horrible" come from?

[Deleted User]

Sncjw wrote: »

Are you able to survive when your sick pay stops when you resign untill you get pay from a new job

Wish we'd stop rubbing it in.

Yes because if poster loses their new job offer, as per other thread then they can appeal for any benefits and with the correspondence of a lost job offer then defend any sanction. (which is why people telling the OP they should decline the offer straight is nuts) I only say this OP as years ago I remember little after a year after the DRO was in place and there was a good temping job with some forms asking about bankruptcy, I had no idea how to respond and you've probably guessed I ticked the wrong box, I had to sit out being told the offer was withdrawn as it was financial services - people won't like this but my JSA at the time restarted as a result. On that occasion it was 6 weeks later I found another job.

Or shock horror, they could apply for another job next day and be successful! And bag a quick-ish start.

bugslet

MissDanielle wrote: »

I'll keep this short and sweet.

I've been signed off with mental health, I originally thought I'd be going back to work and I can but I can't go back to my current job. I can't deal with the embarrassment of everyone knowing my business. But, how can I ever get a new job if on my reference my boss tells the employer I was on sick leave for five months? I know if I hand my notice in I can ask her for a favour to not mention it but To be honest I feel cheeky after not being there

Thank you :money:

Sncjw wrote: »

Just say you have come to the realisation that you are no longer able to cope in current job. Therefore you wish to resign from your role and the date of resignation.


However I think you should tell management about your colleagues being horrible about your issue. They could probably sort it out.

Well I can't see an edit on the OP, just that they can't deal with people knowing; there wasn't anything said about colleagues being horrible.

As for the OPs questions, you can ask her not to mention it unless there is a specific question in the reference, but you can't ask her to tell a lie. I think we established elsewhere that doesn't go down well.

As for the five months off in terms of future employment, well the truth is it isn't going to help, but on the other hand if you have recovered and you get an interview, be honest about the situation if they ask and say that you had treatment/counselling/whatever and you are now back to full health.

ReadingTim

Depends on what your company's policy on references is. Many companies don't give references for fear of legal action - managers pass to HR who simply give a statement saying that "Bloggs was employed between x and y dates with z job title." If that. They certainly won't volunteer information, so may only respond about sick leave if specifically asked, and very unlikely (if not never) to say what sort of sickness. In that case, I would suggest most people would assume physical rather than mental illness.

However, as the sick leave is a fact, it's best to be up front about it with any new employer - you were off from your previous job, realised during your recovery that it was impossible to return to that role, but having successfully recovered, are now applying for this role. Furthermore, being up front about not being able to return to your old job should stand you in better stead with your former employer than stringing them along (as it were) about coming back. Therefore, they might be more receptive to staying silent about why you were off in the first place.

steampowered

Hi

Please don't feel embarrassed about the fact that you had mental health issues. These are more common than most people realise.

There is nothing wrong with telling people that you were on sick leave while you dealt with mental health problems. Most people will be supportive; those who aren't are not worth knowing. Although you don't have to tell people if you don't want - you could just tell them you were on sick leave, you don't need to give them any details.

Sncjw

I just thought the embarrassment and people knowing that people were being horrible to her about it.

sangie595

MissDanielle wrote: »

I'll keep this short and sweet.

I've been signed off with mental health, I originally thought I'd be going back to work and I can but I can't go back to my current job. I can't deal with the embarrassment of everyone knowing my business. But, how can I ever get a new job if on my reference my boss tells the employer I was on sick leave for five months? I know if I hand my notice in I can ask her for a favour to not mention it but To be honest I feel cheeky after not being there

Thank you :money:

A favour is not "asking your boss to lie for you". Haven't we already convinced you that lying is not an option you should be trying out? As others have said, you tell the truth, just as you have here. You have been ill, you are now fit to return to work, but not to your previous employment because (and this is where you must explain why you couldn't do that job and can do this job you are applying for).


Is the only reason that you cannot go back to work the issue with your colleagues knowing about your illness? Because if that is it - go back to work. You have an employer who has kept your job open for several months when they didn't have to, and an opportunity to improve your work attendance, so that if you wish to apply for other work at a later stage, you can do so with an improved reference and sickness record.

ScorpiondeRooftrouser

Sncjw wrote: »

I just thought the embarrassment and people knowing that people were being horrible to her about it.

Bit of a leap, wasn't it?