A cooking conundrum!

dandy-candy

I would like advice from the good folks here please!

Myself and DH are both overweight, I need to lose 2-3 stone and DH about 7-8 stone. We are both due to start the gym next week, but they say you can't outrun a bad diet so we need to sort out the meals.

DS1 and DD are both underweight and need to put on a stone each. DS2 is fine weight wise but eats like a horse as he's on a growth spurt.

DS1 is a dream to feed, he's up for trying anything. The other two are a nightmare - only pizza, sausages, cheesy pasta, chicken nuggets or fish fingers!

The conundrum is what can I make to feed all of us without making separate dinners for the kids and grown ups? And how can I make us all healthier but also help the kids put on weight?

maman

It'll be really difficult if the two that eat 'junk' food won't budge.
Not sure how old they all are but I'd say you need to have a family conversation about improving health to try to get everyone on the same page and willing to join the project.
You could make healthy meals and those who don't need to lose weight could eat treats outside the home. It might be difficult for you and OH to cope if there are loads of biscuits and chocolates around.
As for healthy meals I'd suggest you look at the Slimming World site for the sample 7 day menu. It's healthy eating rather than a diet. You can eat sausages but high meat content ones or make your own burgers but better to eat proper chicken or other meats.

[Deleted User]

Eat healthily as opposed to 'dieting' I think the word should be banned from the English language Eat as your granddad did, throw away the car keys and walk more, and drink lots of water

If you don't buy the rubbish food, the junkie food eaters will have to eat whats put in front of them or go without.

Its tough love No one will starve and junk food is a bad habit to get into.I am no skinny minnie but my food intake consists of lots of water ,a third of it in fruit and veg and I just don't buy junk food at all,never have as I prefer to make my own food then I know whats going into it .

Ready meals I have a feeling are loaded up with salt and sugars which are empty calories, and do you no good at all

Look to the war-time cook books for inspiration. As for the two that only like cheesy pasta fish fingers pizza,sausages and chicken nuggets believe me faced with a rumbling tum they will soon eat whats dished up

True they will moan and groan but tell them if they want to be orphans then Mum and Dad will stay obese, and they will also end up like the pair of you I am not being rude, just brutally honest. Controlling your weight isn't easy and there are no quick fixes.Get rid of the rubbish food and basically eat whats good for you You know that chicken nuggets (where on a chicken are its nuggets anyway ) is just good chicken spoiled by a rubbish coating. Pizza is thick slabs of pastry loaded up with fatty unhealthy dollops of pepperoni etc
Sausages are good if they have a high meat content not the rubbish fat filled ones that are sold as bangers in the supermarkets Two 90% or above pork content bangers with a small amount of mash and a pile of green veg will fill most folk up (watch with the gravy/sauces/ though as they can mount up the calories .Why have a tin of fruit salad dripping with sugar syrup when a banana and a diced up apple and a sliced orange with do you more good and fill the same space

A bowl of porridge made with water and a bit of milk added on top is better for you with its slow release carbs, than a bowl of sugary cereal Porridge will keep you full til lunchtime frosties won't |So bin the biscuits cakes and unhealthy stuff and today is the best day to start and in the words of the old song 'Just say No' :):)

Good Luck ,not easy but worth the effort as you really don't want to go to an early grave through easting carp do you

Cheers JackieO xxx

retiredlady

For the children who will only eat junk food I would say if they are paying for it and cooking it themselves it's up to them.
However if you are buying it and making it available for them, it's up to you!

Perhaps if you can tell them that while they are young they might get away with eating that sort of food, but it will make them fat and unhealthy as they grow up.

Tough love called for here I think. Serve a tasty healthy meal and that's what they get. It won't hurt them to skip a meal. As long as there isn't junk food available for them to eat instead it won't take long for them to change their eating habits!

I'm speaking from experience here, I was in a similar situation myself. When I realised I was cooking four different dinners for my fussy family every night I finally put my foot down. I now cook one dinner for everyone. If they don't like it then it goes to the dog! The ones who turned down the meal got nothing. They (the kids) let this happen about three times before they ate what was served. I'm not pretending it was easy, you have to put up with a lot of complaints, whining and tantrums. But they will get over it. And your life will be happier and healthier.
Good Luck
ps I should point out my kids weren't very young, the youngest was 16 at the time.

Pollycat

That's quite a lot of weight to lose, especially your OH.

Have you had any dietary advice from your GP surgery?

Have you had medical confirmation that 2 of your children need to put on a stone?

I agree with the other posters - you need to have a conversation with your children (hard to say much more when you don't say how old they are - I guess it might be difficult to reason with a 7 year old).

twink

Brilliant post Jackie i couldnt agree more

Prinzessilein

Diets do NOT work!

I have lost over 8 stone by throwing everything I ever learned about 'diets' out of the window! (And I did it without exercise.....if you can get to the gym it will be even easier for yo!)

Heathy Eating is absolutely the way to go....and it will suit the lads who want to put on a little weight and both of you who want to lose....and will give good nutritional grounding for the son who is at a healthy weight already....just being a reasonable weight is not a guarantee of a healthy diet!

A family talk is needed....reassure the lads that there will still be burgers, and sausages and even pizza....and there will be snacks...they will not starve...and there will be nothing 'nasty' on their plates!

Sausages need to be high-meat ones...venison sausages are delicious!....they cost a fair bit more, but sausages were never meant to be a daily food!....burgers - again high meat/low fat....there are some good ones available - or make your own!....Pizza - make your own - healthier and fun! - wholewheat pitta bread topped with a loads of veggies and a little low-fat mozzarella (add a few olives or anchovies or low fat ham.....try and avoid the salami!)

Breakfast ideas....junk the sugary cereals if you eat them!...a favourite of mine I oats, soaked overnight in home made joghurt and topped with local fresh fruit....a bacon butty - bacon with all visible fat removed,grilled, with tomatoes, on wholegrain bread.....even a 'full-ish' English at the weekend...grill bacon and 'good' sausages, poach eggs (or fry in fry light)...add mushrooms, tomatoes and even baked beans.

Lunches....wholewheat bread for sandwiches...or home made soup (packed with healthy veg and add pulses to make them even more satisfying)....or salad (which is NOT limited to limp lettuce and cucumber!)- get a spiralizer and go wild with all sorts of lovely fresh veg!

Dinner....shepherds pie (low fat mince, careful with adding fat to the mash! - try alternatives to potatoes for the mash...maybe add carrot, swede, sweet potato for a change to the topping)....fish pie (low fat cheese in sauce....add veggies to the fish mix - spinach and tomato work well)=...you can use other veggies for the topping - or try filo pastry for a change)....burger and chips! ...yes chips can be enjoyed!....I use a Halo, but in a standard oven, you just cut your chips, parboil, mist with oil and bake!

Snacks....obviously fruit and veg is the way to go!....but home made oat/fruit bars...frozen bananas mushed up for 'icecream'....and for a sweet pud, a meringue nest with fruit and joghurt (too sweet for me, but popular with others!)

Drinks????.....cut RIGHT back on the fizzy pop!...and the alcohol...no need to simply drink useless extra calories!...If the lads are on board, don't swap for sugar free pop, your body is happier without!...maybe sugar free cola could be a weekend treat.

And there should be NO 'forbidden' foods....they are just foods that you see as treats - once every month or so!

So much for the 'general'...now two specific tips....

I am an aficionado of 5-2....five days a week, I eat pretty much as described above and don't count calories....2 days a week I eat as above but restrict my Kcal intake to around 500 (men get to go for about 600Kcal)....it has really changed my life!

I am not able to go to groups - but if I did, Slimming World seems to be a very sensible way of eating! If this is the route you decide to take, have a word with your GP (a good idea anyway - especially for your OH who has a fair bit to lose)....in my area, the GP can give you a voucher for Slimming World - I believe it covers the initial fee and 3 months membership.

Good Luck!

FairyPrincessk

I'd reiterate that dieting probably isn't the way to go, a lifestyle change will be easier to manage and more effective in the long run.

Given a similar experience in my family growing up wish some of us needing to gain and others lose, it often helps to focus more on adding things in, rather than taking them out. So the first step might be try to get x portions of fruit and veg every day. If the kids are young make it a competition with a chart and a (non food!) reward for the winner. Your meals will have to shift a bit to accommodate this so you may find that to add in a salad you're leaving out chips--slowly over time. This won't be enough, it is just a first step. Next step might be, try to have water with every meal (notice I didn't say 'try not to drink x...even though that would be the result). Changing your diet over time by gradually focusing on adding in healthy foods will make it feel less like a punishment.

I'd actually suggest having a sit down with everyone and saying you're going to become a healthier family and as a part of that family meals will be changing. Start sitting down together to eat if you don't already and put out everything in bowls. Everyone must take at least some of all veg, but everything else is optional with the caveat that nothing else will be served. (If the fussier ones are very young I'd offer a simple and healthy alternative that they like once per day--so if they don't like dinner they are allowed a sandwich and fruit or a bowl of porridge as a substitute but they can only do that for breakfast, dinner OR lunch, not all three!).

As for helping some lose and others gain, self serve with lots of options is really the way to go. I'd suggest looking at things like fajitas (don't buy a kit, make your own with extra veg and seasoning), big salads, soups and stews etc. Then have toppings/extras. So for example, if you have soup, also serve bread, cheese, hard boiled eggs, raw veggies and hummus etc. Those who need to gain have the extras that are higher in calories, those who need to lose don't--so mum and dad might have a small bread roll and hard boiled egg while kids might have more bread, egg, cheese, hummus etc. For the fajitas, chop up chicken into small pieces, cut up peppers (1.5/adult), onion and spread in a pan. Season with cumin, cayenne (spicy so be careful), and ground coriander and then bake until cooked. Serve with shredded cabbage, fresh tomatoes, cheese, wraps and avocado. Those who need to lose pile the chicken/peppers in a bowl with cabbage and tomatoes and one small wrap, those who need to gain have wraps with cheese, avocado etc.

It will be difficult but so worth it!

dandy-candy

Thank you for the replies, my kid are actually big - the youngest is 18. Certainly old enough to know what's healthy and the 2 fussy eaters actually did cookery and nutrition for GCSE and both got A :eek:

I have tried the like it or lump it approach before and by day 5 of them not eating other that a bite I gave in. I think they probably ate junk when they were out of the house but I bear the brunt of the "attitude" and strop that comes with it. I need to maybe care a little less about that.

DS1 and DD are underweight by the bmi thing which I know isn't all that accurate but they do both look incredibly bony and DD spine shows like a stegosaurus.

DD eats a box of biscuits and 3 bags of crisps a day which is awful but I'm worried if I take it away she will get skinnier. She isn't as bad on the food front as DS2, her fussy brother, and if I take her up chopped fruit or a yogurt she will eat it. I know I shouldn't have to wait on her but she won't bother doing it herself.

DS2 is very difficult at times and has had me in tears a couple of times this month by having a go at me because there hasn't been anything he likes to eat in. I've had to get DH to speak to him about this and he did apologise but that's not really the point :mad:

As I type there is a cupboard full of crisps and biscuits downstairs, and yes that is a problem because although they are meant for the kids, DH and I do dip in. Should I just go downstairs and bin the lot?

DH and I do actually like healthy food and salads, but DH eats huge portions (3 helpings is the norm) and I'm an all day grazer

culpepper

If sweets ,crisps ,biccies and chocs are some of the culprits, ban them completely from the house. The kids wont suffer in reality and there can be apples etc to replace them ..Try cutting some up and putting in pots ready for the gannets to find in the fridge. If anyone rebels you must be firm and take the banned article and put it in the dustbin straight away (dont bag it,put it right in with the guck).
For things like pizza etc, its fun to make them yourself and you choose how big and whats in/on em.
The rules must be the same for everyone so no buying 'treats' from the tuck shop or work canteen or shop up the road .
Go out for family walks so everyone can be fit together. Take a frisbee to park, kites,cameras, football, bikes etc.
Sitting down to eat together at the table would help the underweight child if you don't already do that. My son is one of those people that gets engrossed in things and can easily miss eating so being called to the table is probably the only thing that kept his weight stable when younger.
Having big plates can make your meals look small even when in reality they are quite generous. We have several smaller dinner plates (1980s) and some more modern and the modern plates are a good inch bigger so the same portions can look generous on the smaller or meager on the larger and our brains are good at making us feel we need the full plate no matter what.

dandy-candy

Pollycat: DH went to the GP a couple of years ago about losing weight but hasn't been about it since then. He joined a gym and is still paying monthly for it, he last went in Nov 2015!

He knows what he needs to do diet/exercise wise but he just won't stick with it. He's the same age now as his mum was when she died - 53. She was overweight, had high cholesterol and died from an embolism. He is overweight and also has high cholesterol (he's on statins). He was actually the one who found her lying dead on the lounge floor in the house we now live in! But if that isn't enough to make him take his health seriously then I really don't know what is