A bit of a dilemma

Gibson2016

Hi All,

I have been a lurker for many years I have to admit, and have taken heed of much of the advice!

My current situation is this;

I have recently split up with my long-term partner, but we still live together (his house, owned outright, no mortgage and all utilities etc. in his name), I am registered on the electoral role at this address. I need to move out, but all the while I am living here, I am 'contributing' to the running costs/food etc., as I would in a rented property (and as I always have done).
My ex-partner is self employed and works from home. He hadn't worked at all really for the last three years (a major factor in calling it quits), so I pay everything - all of the bills and food/meals out etc. The idea was, I would pay all of that and he would pay to do the house up (which hasn't happened - another nail in the coffin..).

This has left me unable to save anything: After tax/NI/pension and parking (direct from wages), I take home £1291 pcm. Bills are £384 pcm, plus quarterly energy bills (I do not have access to the bank account that these bills are paid from). Food is around £250 pcm, fuel for me is £75 pcm, for him (yes he expects that, too) £50 pcm. Pet insurance £54, mobile phone contracts/refresh plans £179 (I know..! I can't get out of these without paying the full amount, so a catch 22), plus my own loan repayment of £173 (21 months left), leaves me £126 pcm to save - this is great, and I will save it, but of course I would like to move out ASAP.

I live/work in an expensive area (Oxford), and have no UK rental history. Top this off with a DRO (issued in Feb 2012) it's making it practically impossible to get out. I considered selling my car, but that has a book price of £440, so wouldn't help (and then I couldn't get to work as I will need to live at least a 40 minute commute away..), I am at a loss. My mum (bless her) offered to be a guarantor on a loan for me (to cover 6 months rent plus the two month deposit the EA's charge because of my DRO/no rental history) but she was told as she is retired she wouldn't be accepted - they suggested I ask a colleague, which I could do, but wanted to see if there were any other options?

I check my credit file through all three avenues (ClearScore, Noddle, and on here), and the only negative is the DRO (which of course is a big one!) and two payday loans I took out last year.

I really am struggling and am not sure how long I can put up with living with my ex and need to move, but I can't see a way out... Any advice?

Thank you!

Pixie5740

Stop paying the bills. Right now. If he falls into arrears with the utility supplies and had to live off gruel then that's his hard cheese.

Contact Shelter for housing advice. You could also contact the council for help securing housing. Some councils offer schemes where they provide the deposit and guarantee the rental.

Renting in the private sector can be tough if you have insolvency showing on your public credit files (public credit files are all letting agents can see and your public file only shows CCJs and insolvency). See if you can find a landlord who advertises directly as they can be more flexible than "completed says no" letting agents. Alternatively you could see if anyone is looking for a lodger and do that for a few months whilst you find your feet.

Once you've got housing sorted out it might be worth seeing if you can make a beneficial claim on his house since you've been supporting him for years. It could be worth a free half hour consultation with a solicitor to find out.

maisie06

Could you not find a houseshare to give you breathing space and be able to get out and save up a bit for a place of your own?

Mojisola

Gibson2016 wrote: »

Bills are £384 pcm

You could find a furnished room (rent and bills) for about that amount.

That would leave a lot more money free for you to save.

datlex

Gibson2016 wrote: »

Hi All,
I take home £1291 pcm. Bills are £384 pcm, plus quarterly energy bills (I do not have access to the bank account that these bills are paid from). Food is around £250 pcm this is high bye your own food only, fuel for me is £75 pcm, for him (yes he expects that, too) £50 pcm you don't nee to pay this . Pet insurance £54 whose pet?, mobile phone contracts/refresh plans £179 what is in his name, what in yours? remove your bank details from any that are in his name (I know..! I can't get out of these without paying the full amount, so a catch 22), plus my own loan repayment of £173 (21 months left), leaves me £126 pcm to save - this is great, and I will save it, but of course I would like to move out ASAP.

A few tweaks and you should be able to save enough to move to a house share temporarily and then on to your own flat.

Gibson2016

Thanks all, I have looked into renting a room (approx £550 pcm), and am waiting for a couple of places to get back to me (I do have pets, which of course is a bit sticky) and they also ask for a months deposit, one month upfront, so I will need a few months to save that up.

Believe me, I would love to stop paying the bills, but it is awkward enough sharing the same space without adding that animosity to it. I've also contacted the local council and will have a chat with Shelter - thank you all for your advice!

Mojisola

Gibson2016 wrote: »

My ex-partner is self employed and works from home.

plus quarterly energy bills (I do not have access to the bank account that these bills are paid from).

Gibson2016 wrote: »

Believe me, I would love to stop paying the bills, but it is awkward enough sharing the same space without adding that animosity to it.

I'm assuming that you are transferring money for the bills to this account? Halve the amount you put in it - he can find the money to pay his share.

Even if it makes life a bit more difficult, it will also shorten the time you have to stay there.