A bit of a whinge

TBagpuss

I think sometimes it can help to turn iot back on her.

he second or third time she starts you can say something like "This is the third time you've brought this up. What is you you are hoping for from me?"
I think if her response is that she's 'just complaining' you'd be fine to say "OK, but it is starting to drag me down. I'd prefer that you don't compliant to me unless you're asking for my help or there is something I can do to change things" Aim for a cheerful, matter of fact tone.

You'd also be fine to say something such as "You seem unhappy, and complain about the work every time you're here. Since this is a voluntary role, have you considered looking for a different voluntary role that would suit you better?

i do think it depends a little on the situation. though. I'd probably only say something if this happens every time you're working together. If it is a one off then I'd chalk it up o her having a bad day. If it is every time then it's starting to affect you, and it is legitimate to bring that up.

trailingspouse

Thanks all - yes, I definitely think she wanted some sort of acknowledgement of her sacrifice!! Hadn't thought about her possibly living alone - I don't know if she does or not, but it's an interesting theory. And yes, I was a bit concerned that her attitude would affect the visitors.

PaturesNew - I'm not moaning really, I'm merely puzzled. It just struck me as very strange behaviour.

tealady

Perhaps she is a Dementor in disguise? Honestly I swear I have worked with one, the day they left they took a black cloud with them.

System

trailingspouse wrote: »

Thanks all - yes, I definitely think she wanted some sort of acknowledgement of her sacrifice!! Hadn't thought about her possibly living alone - I don't know if she does or not, but it's an interesting theory. And yes, I was a bit concerned that her attitude would affect the visitors.

PaturesNew - I'm not moaning really, I'm merely puzzled. It just struck me as very strange behaviour.

Please try and not assume what the reasons are for this person complaining. There is a trace of prejudging coming through with the "living alone theory"

People come in all flavours and until you really get to know someone you won't have any idea what the triggers are for the complaining part of her personality.

I'm assuming with this so called complaining it does not affect her dealing with the public as she is allowed to do the job. As you're not a close friend, family member or trained counsellor don't over think it and just let the person be themselves.