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A bit of a whinge
trailingspouse
Posts: 4,046 Forumite
Not really looking for a solution (but...)
I work as a volunteer (amongst other things) alongside other volunteers at historic building. Yesterday we had a free open day for local residents, so the place was much busier than normal, and there were lots of children.
My colleague was working on the door, welcoming people to the property - this is her normal job, but is also something that I do regularly. From before the doors even opened, she was complaining - she hates children, she hates crowds, she hates noise... I offered to swap jobs with her, but no, she was 'just complaining' (her words).
She complained continuously, all morning - I offered to swap three times. These were genuine offers, and the job I was doing was something she was perfectly capable of doing. But each time she refused.
At lunch time she left, saying she couldn't stand it any longer - but it was her normal clocking off time anyway!?!
Why would someone do this?? She's a volunteer!! If she'd just said she didn't want to do it at all, no-one would have minded. Even if she's said she couldn't come in that day, no-one would have minded. That's want volunteering is all about. But instead she chose to complain (but not actually take up any offers of help). It just seems very strange to me.
I work as a volunteer (amongst other things) alongside other volunteers at historic building. Yesterday we had a free open day for local residents, so the place was much busier than normal, and there were lots of children.
My colleague was working on the door, welcoming people to the property - this is her normal job, but is also something that I do regularly. From before the doors even opened, she was complaining - she hates children, she hates crowds, she hates noise... I offered to swap jobs with her, but no, she was 'just complaining' (her words).
She complained continuously, all morning - I offered to swap three times. These were genuine offers, and the job I was doing was something she was perfectly capable of doing. But each time she refused.
At lunch time she left, saying she couldn't stand it any longer - but it was her normal clocking off time anyway!?!
Why would someone do this?? She's a volunteer!! If she'd just said she didn't want to do it at all, no-one would have minded. Even if she's said she couldn't come in that day, no-one would have minded. That's want volunteering is all about. But instead she chose to complain (but not actually take up any offers of help). It just seems very strange to me.
No longer a spouse, or trailing, but MSE won't allow me to change my username...
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Comments
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trailingspouse wrote: »Not really looking for a solution (but...)
I work as a volunteer (amongst other things) alongside other volunteers at historic building. Yesterday we had a free open day for local residents, so the place was much busier than normal, and there were lots of children.
My colleague was working on the door, welcoming people to the property - this is her normal job, but is also something that I do regularly. From before the doors even opened, she was complaining - she hates children, she hates crowds, she hates noise... I offered to swap jobs with her, but no, she was 'just complaining' (her words).
She complained continuously, all morning - I offered to swap three times. These were genuine offers, and the job I was doing was something she was perfectly capable of doing. But each time she refused.
At lunch time she left, saying she couldn't stand it any longer - but it was her normal clocking off time anyway!?!
Why would someone do this?? She's a volunteer!! If she'd just said she didn't want to do it at all, no-one would have minded. Even if she's said she couldn't come in that day, no-one would have minded. That's want volunteering is all about. But instead she chose to complain (but not actually take up any offers of help). It just seems very strange to me.
Some people just like complaining! There are plenty on some sections of this forum! Perhaps she is one of them?0 -
They don't want to swap; they just want an acknowledgement that they are working hard and get some sympathy for how busy things are.0
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You're having a bit of a whinge about a colleague having a bit of a whinge.
Okey dokey.0 -
Yes Boris, I noticed the irony while I was writing!!
Sadly she wasn't just whingeing - she was full-on complaining. I can understand if you're in a job you hate and you have to keep doing it to pay the bills (been there...) but - volunteering?No longer a spouse, or trailing, but MSE won't allow me to change my username...0 -
Some people just like complaining. I work with a woman who won a few quid on the lottery last month and spent the morning complaining about how far she would have to walk to the shop to get the money.0
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They don't want to swap; they just want an acknowledgement that they are working hard and get some sympathy for how busy things are.
It's more than that though isn't it. Everyone is working hard because it's busy - this person isn't special or in a unique position, but just has some sort of martyr complex which compels them to perform unnecessary tasks and/or refuse offers of help and then complain about said tasks.
Acknowledgement and sympathy simply encourages more of this behaviour, rather than stops it.0 -
Does she live alone? Sometimes people who live with others think that people who live alone are complaining, forgetting entirely that those people don't have a "sounding board" at home to offload moans to ....
She was probably just moaning like everybody does about things, but had nobody at home to bounce that off to once she got home.... and if the volunteering people are the only people she sees, she's probably not got a lot else to say in "conversation".
And/or, maybe she hated the task you were doing more.
Maybe it's not moaning, it's just casual and observational conversation.
You're now HERE moaning .... so who is worse?0 -
ReadingTim wrote: »It's more than that though isn't it. Everyone is working hard because it's busy - this person isn't special or in a unique position, but just has some sort of martyr complex which compels them to perform unnecessary tasks and/or refuse offers of help and then complain about said tasks.
Acknowledgement and sympathy simply encourages more of this behaviour, rather than stops it.
I didn't say that this would stop the behaviour; merely that that is probably what they (consciously or unconciously) were after.
Also: for many people, they are special and in a unique position - they genuinely don't perceive that others are in a similar or worse situation (or they don't care).0 -
PasturesNew wrote: »Does she live alone? Sometimes people who live with others think that people who live alone are complaining, forgetting entirely that those people don't have a "sounding board" at home to offload moans to ....
She was probably just moaning like everybody does about things, but had nobody at home to bounce that off to once she got home.... and if the volunteering people are the only people she sees, she's probably not got a lot else to say in "conversation".
And/or, maybe she hated the task you were doing more.
Maybe it's not moaning, it's just casual and observational conversation.
You're now HERE moaning .... so who is worse?
I wouldn't try and simplify the reasons for which people moan. I live on my own and don't moan. Us humans are complicated beasts and there well could be many layers to her personality that causes her to moan.
Hopefully her customer service was still ok and did not make the public feel uncomfortably.This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0 -
Could be a twisted way of convincing herself and others of how selfless and charitable she is to volunteer doing something that's challenging / unpleasant?!
As a volunteer manager I understand times can be challenging, more so when you are not paid, but I'd hate my volunteers to be genuinely unhappy. whilst a grumble now and then is normal, constant complaining brings other people down.
Maybe she just in a bad mood / tired?
Well done on your volunteering though, there is such good work done all round the country by volunteers and sometimes its not appreciated enough.0
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