Replying to solicitors letter professionally

emily_strating

I have been with my partner for 6 years and we have a 3 year old together. I am a teacher, and a mother to teenagers as well as our 3 year old. My partners ex has been giving us grief for the whole 6 years in regards to him seeing his 10 year old son. Today we received a letter from her solicitor (and cousin) accusing ME of smacking his son, telling their son I'm sending his mother to jail, that she's horrible etc etc. She has proposed that the son does not come to see my partner (his dad) until mediation has occurred through FDR conference because I am there. In the meantime, the son is not allowed direct or indirect contact with me. I am trying to help my partner draft a letter to deny all allegations, but am wondering how much detail we go into. She has previously done this with my partner and she contravened the orders because apparently their son said his dad hit him and locked him in the laundry. I have a feeling that the mother is just making up stories, as they accusations are just absurd. Help anyone?

surveyqueenuk

Have your DPs existing contact arrangements been decided by a court?

pinkshoes

The 10 year old is no doubt wise enough to know his mum is clearly playing games.

I would just write a letter keeping to the point, denying all allegations, and stating that unless they have any evidence to substantiate the claim, then contact will continue as per the agreement.

Your OH should also make sure he continues his contact, turning up to collect him etc... if he is turned away, keep notes and record evidence of what is said etc...

emily_strating

Hi thanks, we agreed to the arrangements. She wasn't happy about it but she knew it would be worse getting the judge to decide. I just responded today though and denied all allegations asking for evidence and sent my own evidence of the mother telling lies. My partner asked his son over the phone if I had ever hit him or yelled in his face and he was suprised and said I hadn't. She's making up stories and I hope it comes out. I will keep you posted with the response!!

emily_strating

I meant that we agreed to the current court orders made in January this year.

Comyface

This reminds me of something that happened to a friend of mine. His ex-wife tried to stop him seeing his kids by accusing his new wife (maybe girlfriend at that time) of 'being a drinker'. That's all she said, but the implication was there that drinking was a problem.

My friend (and new partner) complied with all the court (or might have been CAFCAS) asked them to do. That included the new partner going for liver tests and all kinds and she was completely vindicated. The ex wife got legal aid and my friend didn't during the divorce. It seemed so unfair. And there was a period of a couple of months where he didn't see his kids while this was all being sorted out.

My sincere sympathies for the situation you find yourself in. My advice is to do everything 'by the book', as my friend did. Don't get angry, the truth will out. You have nothing to hide.

maman

As you're a teacher you really can't risk the potential outcomes of this type of allegation.
You've done the right thing in putting it on record that these allegations are untrue but I think, in your position., I'd want more advice.
Do you belong to a teachers' union? I'd ask advice. Maybe if they're not able to advise on domestic issues you could see if your home insurance gives legal cover. In any event I'd take advice.
An allegation against anyone of assaulting a child is serious but for a teacher it's potential is very serious indeed.

FBaby

I just responded today though and denied all allegations asking for evidence and sent my own evidence of the mother telling lies. My partner asked his son over the phone if I had ever hit him or yelled in his face and he was suprised and said I hadn't. She's making up stories and I hope it comes out. I will keep you posted with the response!!

This is terrible. it's not about you. Of course it is distressing and worrying that a child could make allegations especially as you are a teacher, but this request is not about you but about this child's visits.

Asking the child up front if he said something is totally inappropriate. If he wasn't lying and hadn't told his father before, why would he be now when confronted?

Surely the best step now is to agree to mediation. This is the best way forward for your OH.

Nicki

If your user name is your real name, given it is transpires you are a teacher accused of assaulting a child I'd be inclined to change your username asap!

emily_strating

Yes I understand what you mean but I have never touched him physically, except for a cuddle. I'm tempted to ask if the little boy could make a police statement I'm that confident, but I think that's a bit scary for him. I personally think he should just talk to a family psychologist who can make a judgement on the situation.