Ex's mother wants deposit back

Red-Squirrel_2

ScorpiondeRooftrouser wrote: »

I know. I'd still be surprised. That he said to her "My mum is paying my half of the deposit" seems likely. That anyone said "My mum is paying my half of the deposit as a gift", I can't see. It's a strange "gift" when you have no idea if it will be returned or not.

I don't find it particularly surprising.

I bet its quite common for parents to give their adult kids the money for the deposit on their first rental place without ever expecting it back.

aneary

It's common for deposits to buy property but not rent. Unless my friends and I just have the worse parents in the world.

ScorpiondeRooftrouser

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I don't find it particularly surprising.

I bet its quite common for parents to give their adult kids the money for the deposit on their first rental place without ever expecting it back.

Expecting it back, quite probably not. Formalising it as a gift at the time of giving it, yes, I find that surprising.

I take the point that it might be legally due back to the ex, in which case she should probably give it back to him (although in that case the agent probably would? I'm not sure) and then it's the mother's problem to get it from him. That's fair enough. But she has to give it back to one or other of them, morally, whoever's name it's in.

Red-Squirrel_2

ScorpiondeRooftrouser wrote: »

Expecting it back, quite probably not. Formalising it as a gift at the time of giving it, yes, I find that surprising.

I take the point that it might be legally due back to the ex, in which case she should probably give it back to him (although in that case the agent probably would? I'm not sure) and then it's the mother's problem to get it from him. That's fair enough. But she has to give it back to one or other of them, morally, whoever's name it's in.

Definitely the son, then its between the two of them and she can wash her hands of it.

LittleFawn

PasturesNew wrote: »

The half deposit does technically belong to the ex. Even if not on the paperwork, then morally.

The half month's first rent he had/used, so that's off the table.

If I were you I'd write a letter to both of them ... saying you'll return 50% of the deposit you get back to him and he can then settle with his mum but that's between them.

Thank you! I was going to pay half of the deposit back to whoever, it's just that she wants half the deposit and first months rent.
She's asking for a very high price which doesn't seem correct either.
I am very afraid if I make a reasonable offer for repaying the deposit only she'll just disregard it.

LittleFawn

ScorpiondeRooftrouser wrote: »

The first month's rent is gone; that wasn't a loan to you. If it was a loan to anybody it was to her son, so that's between them.

As far as the deposit goes then legally it would have to be the ex suing you for it, and it depends on what proof he has that he paid it. Morally, don't you think that if you get the deposit back you should give her the 50% she paid? Why should you keep it?

I have full intention of paying back 50% of the deposit, I forgot to mention in my original post. I am very tired and very stressed out.
It's just that she's asking for deposit and first months rent, then asking me for a very steep price for it.

LittleFawn

ScorpiondeRooftrouser wrote: »

I'd be surprised if anyone paid a returnable deposit as a gift.

That is what I find odd about this whole thing. She would randomly splash out £100's even £1000's on him, buying him cars etc. At the time I didn't find it strange.
In the end he struggled to make ends meet for the past 6 months and blamed it on student finances, car repairs and a bad job. In reality he was feeding a vicious addiction I had no idea about and he hid from everyone.

This is why I also find it strange that she's asking for a 'gift' back. Half of the deposit is mine, half is his whatever, but he nearly put me in debt because I was forking out for his living costs for around 6 months. So considering he did me in for £1000's too, maybe I think that she should be asking HIM for the money back.

Geoff1963

Welcome to the forum, LittleFawn.

I'm thinking that :
1) The mother of the ex- gave money to her son
2) The ex- gave money to the OP, as apology for his behaviour
So the ex-'s mother doesn't have much of a case.

I'm sure that over the years, the ex- bought presents for the OP, and the ex-'s mother bought presents for him. Is the ex-'s mother entitled to "get back" an equivalent sum ?

She also told me to not contact the ex regarding the matter

From what I read, the ex- tried to atone financially for his misbehaviour, so he wouldn't want his mother clawing that back.

G_M

1) you received nothing from the mother - she lent it/gifted it /whatever to her son. So she can only ask her son to repay her.

So ignore the mother with whom you have no legal relationship regarding any loan.

2) whether you choose to return anything to your ex is a seperate matter, but since you and ex have already agreed he should help you financially, and he's been helping you with at least some of the rent, it appears you agreed you don't owe him.

LittleFawn wrote: »

Got the tenancy renewed under just my name, and the ex made his OWN decision to help me with rent every month by making payments into my bank. He stopped after several months.

What is my legal standing on this?

3) Since the joint tenancy with ex has already ended, the deposit currently held by the landlord is for your (new) sole tenancy. The deposit is therefore legally 100% yours.

Don't ask me what happened to the original deposit - it should have been re-paid when the joint tenancy ended.

BrassicWoman

Is it possible mum has good intentions trying to stop son getting cash to feed whatever his habit is?

Either way though legally it goes back to him.