Disagreement with OH

engineer_amy

EssexHebridean wrote: »

And no, he might not have instigated it, but sometimes there's no harm in letting them think they have, if you get my drift... At the moment you have a situation where he feels you're set against him and his proposed path - by agreeing with him (or at least, seeming to) at the outset of a further discussion, you completely change the tone of things. It just might make him more receptive... More than one way to skin a cat, I believe they say... :rotfl:

Agree entirely with the above lol. I know so many males who like to think something was their idea, but have actually been manipulated by using subtle hints....


Is your husband the competitive type? He might get more interested if there is a challenge set. Whether its one of the challenges listed on the Debt Free Challenges list, or whether its your own personal competition between you and OH, it might spur him on and get him into the moneysaving mindset. IE have an agreed sum for personal spends each week, and see who has the most money left at the end of the week. Or who can save the most loose change etc

JourneyToSolvency

Just a quick message (I'm working and OH is home)

He's come home in a very cheerful mood and actually suggested we sit down and look at our options later when I've finished work - he also suggested we do something fitness related together once a week - I've suggested beginner yoga vids on YouTube and he suggested Zumba lmao!!

So we may do both - might take my mind off things.

No idea why the sudden change and I'm not counting my chicks before they're hatched but it's definitely raised my mood a little

zippygeorgeandben

JourneyToSolvency wrote: »

This is what tesco say about over payments so we look okay there:

Loan applications made on or after 11 June 2010

You can choose for your additional payment to be applied in one of two ways:

Reduce your monthly payment and keep the term of your loan the same, or
Keep your monthly payment the same and reduce the term of your loan.

Both options will give you an interest rebate, which means you will pay less interest overall on your loan, but you will get a greater interest rebate with Option 2.

Funnily enough, I've spoken with Tesco at 530pm today making an additional payment. I asked for Option 2 and I've saved myself approx £20 by making an extra payment. They assured me that there would be no charge either.

zippygeorgeandben

JourneyToSolvency wrote: »

Just a quick message (I'm working and OH is home)

He's come home in a very cheerful mood and actually suggested we sit down and look at our options later when I've finished work - he also suggested we do something fitness related together once a week - I've suggested beginner yoga vids on YouTube and he suggested Zumba lmao!!



So we may do both - might take my mind off things.

No idea why the sudden change and I'm not counting my chicks before they're hatched but it's definitely raised my mood a little

Just seen this message and I chuckled to myself! Instantly, YOU think YouTube yoga vids = free and yet your OH suggests Zumba? As in classes? = NOT FREE

I truly don't think he has understood yet however men do not like being told they are in the wrong do they. You seem resilient and that's a good thing. It's an attribute which may come in handy later.

EssexHebridean

Great thinking to do something like that together - and brilliant news that he seems to have come around a little to thinking that his way might not be the only way. Hope your sitting down and talking things through goes constructively!

Oh - missed your earlier question also - that £150 if I were you I's stash into your emergency fund for now. Personally if it were me I;d look to get that to £500, then start throwing everything at the catalogues, then move on to 50% debt and 50% EF until the EF hits £1,000.

DizzyMum_2

Hello,

I rarely post but, thought I'd add - as a serial consolidator (never works, I've got a grip now though ) - if you add to your mortgage it'll be at the the current house value.

So if the value of the house drops, and prices are high at the moment and things are, um, interesting, you could end up in negative equity.

You sound like you're heading in the right direction so keep at it.

Good luck.

Em

StopIt

zippygeorgeandben wrote: »

Just seen this message and I chuckled to myself! Instantly, YOU think YouTube yoga vids = free and yet your OH suggests Zumba? As in classes? = NOT FREE

I truly don't think he has understood yet however men do not like being told they are in the wrong do they. You seem resilient and that's a good thing. It's an attribute which may come in handy later.

I think being stubborn and refusing to accept they might be in the wrong is a universal trait!


One thing to remember is that while you're certainly right to resist consolidating debts into secured lending, that this shouldn't be an argument, but an agreement to meet this challenge.


After all, you may "win" an argument, but at the end of the day, you are both in this together and making it a challenge for both of you to rise to will provide motivation and pride in your success, rather than acrimony and annoyance about who is right or wrong.


I'm glad you both look like you're in a better frame of mind and I'm sure you'll kick this debt right in the nads ASAP and regain financial freedom! Good luck.