The Nice People Thread, No.16: A Universe of Niceness.

Pyxis

LydiaJ wrote: »

Most people, I think.

But there's a difference between "normal" feelings of "I'm different and don't fit in" and PN's "speshul-ness".

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I think that that is where a formal diagnosis is extremely useful. If you can tell/warn people that you have syndrome X, then even if they don't know much about it, they will probably cut you some slack, and know that the things you say might come out wrongly, or that the things you do that might appear 'strange' or anti-social are just part of it, and so no offence is then taken.

I mean, just to give a very silly scenario:
If a child asks an older person "Why is your face so wrinkly?", most older people would laugh it off as 'things children say, hahahahahaha!'

If an adult with Downs Syndrome asks it, the response from the older person is likely to be the same, as the outward signs of 'differentness' are there to explain the bluntness.

If an adult with no such outward signs says that, it is quite likely to give a bit of offence, or at least cause a bit of consternation, unless that person knows that the adult saying it has Syndrome X.

Silly example, but hopefully ykwim?



Edit. Plus, as Pastures has discovered, once you have a diagnosis, there is a whole world of help out there, but more important might be the realisation that it is not 'just you against the world', that there are reasons why you are like you are, and perhaps most important of all, that there are others who have the same or very similar difficulties. That can offer a level of inclusiveness which might be comforting.

Pyxis

Hurray! My chervil's back!

It hasn't been available for the last three weeks, and I had been afraid it was out of season, but it's not!

I can get my fix again!

chris_m

PasturesNew wrote: »

It was: tiny trike, bigger trike, pushed around the garden on a bike you can't reach the pedals of, taking that bike out and riding it on the pedals without reaching the seat, one day you can reach the seat. With a lot of falling off and crying .... and, once perfected, hitting a few lamp posts

Hitting a few lamp posts? I managed to demolish a neighbour's fence before I got the hang of it :rotfl:

Doozergirl

Can I just clarify that I was talking generally about people and not about a person. If it wasn’t understood, I had no intention of undermining anyone.

Pyxis

Doozergirl wrote: »

Can I just clarify that I was talking generally about people and not about a person. If it wasn’t understood, I had no intention of undermining anyone.

It's ok, Doozer! That's what I understood! :A


Another problem, generally, can come with the use of the impersonal 'you'.
'You' has taken over from 'one', as in 'one does such-and-such, if one has a mind to', and 'one' can often sound dated if spoken, although I do use it quite a lot!

However, sometimes the use of 'you' can be misleading to some people, often necessitating a clarifying rider, whereas 'one' has no ambiguity, other than risking a posh alert! :rotfl:

michaels

Pyxis wrote: »

It's ok, Doozer! That's what I understood! :A


Another problem, generally, can come with the use of the impersonal 'you'.
'You' has taken over from 'one', as in 'one does such-and-such, if one has a mind to', and 'one' can often sound dated if spoken, although I do use it quite a lot!

However, sometimes the use of 'you' can be misleading to some people, often necessitating a clarifying rider, whereas 'one' has no ambiguity, other than risking a posh alert! :rotfl:

I find this really difficult when helping the kids with their homework, whilst when they use 'you' rather than one it is obviously poor grammar, apparently correcting it results in it being clearly not their work....

Pyxis

michaels wrote: »

I find this really difficult when helping the kids with their homework, whilst when they use 'you' rather than one it is obviously poor grammar, apparently correcting it results in it being clearly not their work....

.......and what mark do you (as in YOU ) average? :rotfl:

vivatifosi

I am such a numpty.

I was about to say that I'd seen on TV that Ancestry had a free military records weekend coming up. Then I realised that I'd recorded the programme I was watching and the free weekend was actually last July:o.

LydiaJ

Doozergirl wrote: »

Can I just clarify that I was talking generally about people and not about a person. If it wasn’t understood, I had no intention of undermining anyone.

Pyxis wrote: »

It's ok, Doozer! That's what I understood!

Yes, it's what I understood too.

And I completely agree that the world would be a less scary place for most people if there was more of that "me too" openness going on that you mentioned.

michaels

PasturesNew wrote: »

Just found a roof tile in my garden. Usual first thought: hope that's not mine!

It is, or was..... one blown off the end corner, god knows when though.

Bummer. Needs to be fixed, there's a bill for you!

I hate that when house bills just happen out of the blue for no good reason

We recently had the water softener suddenly start flooding after 6 years of just sitting doing its thang without thought on our part, £85 quid later it is still not as good as it was before. Boiler is playing up 6 months after the end of the 5 year warranty and the PC (about 10 years old second user system with a few upgrades) refused to boot the other day - luckily this last was fixed by a bit of googling by replacing the bios battery (that admittedly had been flat for the last year) and shorting out some capacitors to remove a stored hibernate condition....

You just see all the money gong and think it could instead have gone on something nice.

Yesterday took the afternoon off work to watch DD2 play netball - she did the dutiful daughter thang and scored six of the goals (hoops? Baskets) in an 8-6 victory and got named 'man of the match' by the opposition despite being marked by someone at least 6 inches taller than her. Tomorrow is football so no lie in then standing out in the cold with a brief break to relocate from DD1 to DD2 matches from 9.30 until 1pm.