Maintenance Changes - Opinions Please!

robeano

Hi Everyone
I'm hoping some of you would be willing to help me out with some opinions on maintenance arrangements with my ex wife. I think what I am proposing is fair but she doesn't and I'm really keen to see what others feel about it. The scenario is:


We split around two and a half years ago as she decided she didn't want to be married anymore. We agreed that I would have the two kids for two nights a week and pay £800 a month maintenance , even though the Child Maintenance Service calculator suggested that going rate was around £530. I have paid this without fail every month. We are not using the CSA for collection or payment of the maintenance.


Last month my ex asked me to have the kids an extra night a week - which I was delighted to do. I said that, as the girls were staying with me for an extra night, there should be a reduction in maintenance. The CMS calculator shows they would expect a reduction of 33% if we change from 2-3 nights a week to 3 nights a week. Therefore I'm proposing to reduce the current £800 down by 33% to £535.


I thought this was a reasonable approach as I am still paying a lot more than the minimum suggested by the CMS (which is £377 for 3 nights) and am using the CMS's own figures to calculate the reduction rather than just plucking a number out of the air.


It's safe to say that my ex violently disagrees with that assessment and thinks the reduction is far too big.
So my question is:


Do you think a reduction for the extra night is fair and, if so, is 33% a reasonable reduction?


Any views would be most welcome - if I am being unfair I want to know so I can do something about it. I'm not trying to stitch anyone up or pay less than I should be.


Thanks
Rob

kingfisherblue

As someone who considers herself lucky to get £20 a month for two children, I would say that your payments are very generous. Your ex should expect a reduction as she is now going to have the children one night a week less (at her own request). I really don't think she has anything to argue about.

theoretica

She suggested you have them more - is there a risk that she will back out of this if she feels it will cost her too much financially?

Ignoring the CSA (and I am not an expert, but also can't see where you got 33%), she has reduced from having them 5 days, to 4 days so why not a reduction to 4/5ths?

[Deleted User]

I'm on your side, I have had issues with my maintenance even though I pay the same as you for my one child and my calculator says pay about £560 a month. Think some partners expect us to pay for their lifestyles even though it's supposed to be for the children...

Happier_Me

Personally I think your offer is more than fair.

From your wife's POV she is seeing a fairly big drop income. If you really want the extra night why not up your offer a bit so you pay more than she would get for two nights as per the CSA calculator. Or suggest a staged reduction so she has time to adjust her finances.

She may change her mind abut the extra night if she thinks this will maintain her £800 a month. You may want to have a think about what you will do regarding maintenance paymemts if she does!

anna_1977

I think you are being totally reasonable - you are paying her more than the recommended amount anyway (good for you).

I suppose the only thing she can do is change her mind and not want you to have them a 3rd night a week but I'd hazard a guess you're doing her a favour as she asked you in the first place

silvercar

If £800 represented her having them for 5/7ths of the week. That means £640 is equivalent to having them 4/7ths of the week.

That is just on a pro-rata basis. In practical terms she still provides a home for them, can't rent out their rooms when they are not there, won't really buy them less clothes, may have a marginal drop in electricity and water and has to buy slightly less food. So I'm not convinced pro-rata is fair.

Guest101

She's not seeing it for what it is.


You now have the kids for 3/7 days - almost half the time. Remind her of that and that Child maintenance is to pay for the kids needs. Which you are now paying on those days.

Guest101

silvercar wrote: »

If £800 represented her having them for 5/7ths of the week. That means £640 is equivalent to having them 4/7ths of the week.

That is just on a pro-rata basis. In practical terms she still provides a home for them - so does he , can't rent out their rooms when they are not there - he cant either, won't really buy them less clothes - ditto , may have a marginal drop in electricity and water and has to buy slightly less food. So I'm not convinced pro-rata is fair.

It's 4/7 vs 3/7, so really the amount to be paid should be 1/7, but I appreciate it doesn't work like that, bizarrely

davidwood123

Reduce the payments.

You obviously love your children but after them, you are the most important person in this family now.....not you ex.

Look after yourself and your children.

Your wife's lifestyle isn't important

TBagpuss

It';s not unreasonable, particularly as you are still paying well above CMS rates.

But it is a big change. Could you offer to make the change gradually over 2-3 months so that she has time to adjust to the change?

How much do you know about her financial position - is the change likely to be causing her financial difficulty? That doesn't change your legal position but may affect how she reacts, and how reasonable it is for you to seek to compromise.