Need Help Plotting My Next Steps

asajj

Your employer might come to your help after you go back. They might make adjustments or take off some of your responsibilities to help on the stress. Only you can decide whether you want to keep the job but as Sangie advised, don't resign right away.

I have gone through some rough patches and found that the best you can do is to look after yourself. Your boss/manager will need to think about your role. Leave it to them. Follow up with your GP and appointments. It still makes me anxious when I think about my own work. I always wanted to be really good at it and put a lot of pressure on myself. I do realise many people are less capable than me but more confident. Guess what, they are happier.You don't have to be perfect. You just need to do your job and that's it. The rest will come. Good luck.

elsien

You are probably not in a place to make decisions right now. And if you need more time, your doctor can sign you off for longer at the end of 28 days. I was once signed off from work with stress/depression which crept up on me without me noticing - when you are in the middle of it it can be less obvious to you that things are getting too much than it may be for those around you. I think my difficulties were less than yours from what you have said but I was off work with ongoing sicknotes for a while. My suggestion would be similar to Sangie's - don't rush into any hasty decisions about your job. Give any therapies/assessments/medication time to take effect before you start to consider what is doable for you and what isn't. Your health is the priority here.

Geoff1963

Many companies have jobs which can be done by people with all sorts of apparent "shortcomings". My Dad often tells me of a deaf colleague, who used to work as a riveter inside a small box ; the noise would have driven anyone else mad. The business must have jobs you could do.

Your "shortcoming" seems to be that you aren't prepared to let a job be done badly, for the sake of ticking a box to say it's been done ; the news is full of events which are caused by people without that "shortcoming". Perhaps the company can find you a role where it acknowledges the need for perfection ; and resources it accordingly.

As a suggestion for coping with work, how about schizophrenia ? I don't mean for real, but instead to have a work persona. If you are only given enough time to do the job half-well, then "half-well" is the standard to be achieved ; and by that standard, you were perfect. If you are told to run up a down-escalator ; going down less quickly, is a success.
Overcoming social anxiety is like getting better at reading, do lots of it, whatever it is ; engage in conversation with anybody, about anything. Start with the easy stuff, like asking a shelf-stacker where the bread is ; then graduate to going back with a loaf to say thanks. When you need a "real" conversation, treat it as another training exercise.

I'm told of a young man who had a serious anxiety about being rejected by girls, so had stopped socialising. The psychiatrist gave him some homework for the week, to get 100 rejections. Each rejection became a win, instead of a loss ; so he lost the negative feedback link.

When the dust has settled and you are "sorted", please let us know.