Need Help Plotting My Next Steps

Florence_J

Hi all,

I'm not sure if this is the best thread for this.

I have been signed off work for 28 days due to stress, anxiety and depression.

I have never been in this situation before and I don't know what my next steps should be.

Everything has passed in a blur so I haven't found out how this is going to affect my wages (my employer does offer statutory sick pay) so I guess that is a job to do.

I don't know what I should be doing. I also don't know if I am capable of returning to this job.

I just wondered if anyone can offer any advice?

sangie595

There isn't a lot to go on here Florence. Why don't you know if you can return to the job? You rally need to explain to us what is going on to get any sensible advice.

elsien

If you've just been signed off you need to give yourself time to start to recover before you do anything much.
Do you know if your employer offers more than statutory sick pay at all?

Florence_J

Well, it's like this.

I was working in accounts payable, but I found the job stressful and it was causing me incredible anxiety. For a long time I have struggled with social anxiety as well and I think everything has come to a head and caused me to have a bit of a breakdown.

Last week my doctor has referred me to a mental health service as there is a higher than likely chance I have borderline personality disorder which wasn't previously diagnosed.

I am not sure if I would be able to cope with the demands of my job with my anxiety, I guess that is what I mean. I'm not sure if I would be any good at this job and if it would be better if I hand in my notice.

Florence_J

For a long time, it's certainly fair to say it has been at least 18 months, I have found it more and more difficult to be around strangers, answer phone calls, be in large crowds, do customer service roles and in general communicate with people.

I have difficulty coping with stress, and I found this job quite stressful, my mental health problems are not going to go away in 28 days, I have started seeking cognitive behavioural therapy and doing what I can to help myself.

I guess because this is all alien territory to me, I just wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation or had any advice.

sangie595

Hi Flo
I was a bit worried about you because something in the first post made me concerned about you, so I went off and checked some of your recent posts. I have only had time to skim them. Sorry.

Your number one is NEVER RESIGN. Wait and get sacked if you must. But I am very worried for you because this is not exactly about your work. It seems from what I read elsewhere that your world is crashing down. It must be very scary. And I am maybe being unfair about this, but I am not at all pleased to hear what you have, very nicely, said about your partner and his family, who appear - in my eyes - to be brats!! Sorry - I know that must be hard for you, but really, some growing up seems to be in order and you appear to be the only grown up in sight!

I don't really understand what is happening here, but I am going to give you some great advice. Look after yourself. And care for yourself. Forget everything and everyone else. Give yourself space to heal, and love yourself enough to move forward. It isn't your role in life to sort out everybody else. There are hard times ahead. Fine - you can't change that. But you CAN come through them. But you need to think about yourself, for yourself.

xapprenticex

If you dont mind saying, what exactly was/is stressful in your AP role??

Regarding SA, didnt you ever look into tackling while you was working, say a year ago for example?

Florence_J

xapprenticex wrote: »

If you dont mind saying, what exactly was/is stressful in your AP role??

Regarding SA, didnt you ever look into tackling while you was working, say a year ago for example?

Those are the million dollar questions.

I found my job stressful because I put too much pressure on myself to be perfect and suddenly being in a role where my work was more important than what I had done before and that mistakes might actually matter made me panic.

As for the SA, I guess, as stupid as it is, I didn't realise the way I was afraid of people/phones/etc went beyond normal shyness/introversion and was actually quite seriously warped. The fact is I haven't had the confidence to go for jobs I might like or might be good for my skills. I've just gone for jobs that any person can do, they are usually entry level jobs and more often then not have been customer service based roles as I feel my chances of getting those jobs was better.

As a result I have worked many, many roles which have drained me, made me ill, anxious or stressed and I think it is safe to say that my life has fallen around me a bit.

I guess I don't know what to do next as I don't know how this problem won't crop up again.

sangie595

Flo - the point of getting help now is to assist you in getting the help you need to make decisions for yourself. I know it is easy to say "don't worry", and you will worry anyway - but you must give yourself some time and some space to engage with people who can help you.

Florence_J

sangie595 wrote: »

Flo - the point of getting help now is to assist you in getting the help you need to make decisions for yourself. I know it is easy to say "don't worry", and you will worry anyway - but you must give yourself some time and some space to engage with people who can help you.

Thank you, I will try.

xapprenticex

If you have a modern phone i advise you download the headspace APP immediately.

Your doctor SHOULD refer you to a talking therapy group run by NHS and tthey should assess and invite you to a few workshops covering CBT then 1-2-1 sessions if required.

Research CBT, get reputable books,

I also advise you join a speakers club, it will scare the crap out of you initially but they are very supportive and in time, youll build confidence in yourself.

rewire your anxious brain is worth a read too.

dont let anxiety rob you of your life.