Is this bullying or just plain rude?

whiskydeltafoxtrot

I don't want to give too many details so i'll put it simply;
Is leaving someone out of things, ignoring their birthday, yet making a huge fuss of others birthdays, not adding them to Facebook, even though all other employees are 'friends' together on there, bullying or am i being over sensitive?
We all get on well- and laugh and joke together, yet they won't let me in their 'gang' and I'm starting to feel unhappy and left out.

I should add these aren't kids nor am I (all in late 40s/50s)

[Deleted User]

Over sensitive.

System

Why would you want to be in their gang, given the way they behave towards 'outsiders'? It all sounds very silly and childish to me.

Undervalued

Is this bullying or just plain rude?

No and no!

Nothing says you have to be friends with people you work with. As long as they deal with you in a professional manner regarding work that is all that matters.

xapprenticex

Is this school or something? wana be in the gang. i take it you are a teen or early twenties, you still have time to learn.


whops, i just noticed your last sentence. seriously, get over it imo, they are just colleagues, if they upgrade to friends, then great, otherwise, do your 9 till 5.

elsien

Don't ever mix work and social media - recipe for disaster. You're better off out of that one.

gettingtheresometime

I have to say that someone, in casual conversation, mentioned that the boss had set up a chat group on snapchat of all the team bar me.

It was at that point I realised that my feelings of just being tolerated were correct and gave me the push to leave.

I do agree with the comment that Facebook and work colleagues rarely mix

xapprenticex

^ Awesome, when the crap hits the fan, you can sit back with an inner grin watching the fireworks knowing nobody can approach you because you weren't involved.

I admit ive never had an issue fitting in at work, i believe ive always been one of the 'main' guys if you know what i mean but if i were in a situation where i was not liked i dont think i'd care much because I know that I have friends with or without them and a life with or without them so no big deal, their loss really.

TELLIT01

I've never been a great one for mixing my work and private life so this sort of thing wouldn't bother me at all. However, if the OP is being totally sidelined at work - on work related issues, that does need to be raised.

xapprenticex

IMO, no point raising it, it will only make things worse.

I've seen people join my team and they were not liked, and i saw that its impossible to make colleagues like you, if they dont want to associate like that, then they wont, whether you raise it or not.

If they are communicating work issues with you (The reason you are there) then there is nothing to raise.

DCFC79

Over sensitive for sure.