Wife doesnt like my mother for no real reason

Robisere

I think there are massive cultural differences between you and your wife, which have only become obvious since you both "relaxed" into married life. By that, I mean since you both settled into marriage and became relaxed enough for the differences to become plain.

You have a decision to make about your wife, who in my opinion, (based only upon your information to the forum), wants to control you, your life and your family relationships. Do you want to go forward having your wife more and more in control of your life? Try to extrapolate the future together and imagine this situation getting worse.

The decision is yours to make.

Anno88

Hi !


Just seen this thread wanted to contribute...


Once you have a little baby, it is very likely that these frustrations will become much much worse.


No doubt you envisage a future where your child will see your parents - their grandparents - without it being an issue, and will want them to have as close and loving relationship with them as you do.


Your wife sounds a little insecure, and very very fixed in her ways - I think the things she is focussing on do show a lot of insecurity in her, and a hankering to do things ''the right way '' i.e how she and possibly her family, have always done them.


In her mind, that is the ''right way '', i.e ' the only way '


Until she can mature out of this perspective, she will give you and herself a very hard time.


Most definitely a little baby could be traumatised whilst you two spend the next few years working / arguing out your compromise.


Sit her down and ask each other : Is this marriage working ''


Making you both realise that you do not have to stay together and to take the step of inextricably linking your lives with a baby, is not a foregone conclusion.


Maybe that will provide the wake-up call to help you assess what sort of Life and Happiness you can bring each other.


Bad things happen you know , we don't have to make them happen !

DrivingMissDaisy

So to summarise:

• She doesn't work currently and is resting herself
• She doesn't have a close bond with her family
• She doesn't like you having a close bond with your family
• She doesn't like how you keep the house, but she is at home now
• Now, she wants to move back to Japan

hmm...:huh:

GlasweJen

I'm surprised it's taken so long to come to a head.

Japanese women are told to get a strong man, one who can be head of a family. They don't go in for mothers boys and generally expect for married men to leave their old family and make a new family with wife and children. What are you telling your mum that's making her upset? I'm going to guess finances, discussing health issues, discussing the future and basically conversations that should only be had within the marriage (i.e just you and her).

As for her wanting to raise your children in Japan, again it's very common for women to return "home" for the birth of babies and to settle back where they are from until the children are older.

heartbreak_star

She sounds possesive, manipulative, and controlling. IMO this is an abusive relationship.

If a woman was saying this about her husband, everyone's alarm bells would be ringing.

HBS x

[Deleted User]

Seriously read your own post, this relationship is doomed, get out while you can before you have a child as no way should a child be brought up in this relationship...

[Deleted User]

I don't see a future for this relationship without you making yourself entirely miserable by acquiescing to her every demand.

Do not have a child together it wouldnt be fair.