Protecting my family

Slinky

Malthusian wrote: »

Agree with the overall point, but it's worth noting that life insurance will pay out if you are diagnosed with a terminal illness (expected to die within 12 months).

She was given 14-16 months so from what you're suggesting, the life cover wouldn't have paid out in her case. As it is, she's approaching 3 years now, but diagnosis remains the same.

GSXRCarlos

Malthusian wrote: »

At which point you're happy for her to be made homeless?

This is what my partner wants and we've discussed.

By that time she should be able to sort herself out.

GSXRCarlos

chesky wrote: »

Do you have a pension, and if so, can your partner inherit it when you die? Also, what about guardianship if you and your partner die at the same time.

I need to double check who the beneficiary is, but yes, that can go the my partner.

We've discussed guardianship, and that will go in our mirror will.

GSXRCarlos

Loanranger wrote: »

Get married! You have a partner who you decided to have a baby with and a house. Are you frightened of making a commitment to one person for life? Then you weren't ready to create a child. A child is totally dependent on the pair of you not just for tangible stuff but for emotional stability, too.
If one of you dies then things are so much simpler, and next of kin, inheritance without leaving a Will are all sorted.

Thanks for this. We have no issue with commitment, but the wedding we want is a while off yet. I want something to cover us in the mean time.

Lioness_Twinkletoes

What is the matter with people on this board? What with this guy not bothered about his partner's future needs and the other amazing catch who wanted to charge his partner the rent he was losing from a lodger - while giving nothing away, (after all, she was lucky to have him!) it is totally clear that romance is well and truly dead.

Kynthia

You've not thought this through. While your partner and child are living in the house your child owns in trust, who pays for maintenance on it? Is your partner expected to fix the damp, get a new boiler, update the electrics, repair or get a new roof, get new Windows, replace the crumbling driveway, etc over the many years until your child is 18? Will she be able to afford this what with saving to buy her own place and working to afford the bills? If she can't your child will be living in increasingly poor conditions and they won't be able to sell to buy a place in better condition.

What if it would be better for your child if they moved for some reason? If either one of them became disabled and needed somewhere more accessible, if close family moved elsewhere and they wanted to follow, if your child has a talent and would benefit from a specialist school somewhere else, etc? They would be stuck.

Your partner would be living mortgage free but have you left them enough that they will be able to raise your child with a decent standard of living as a single parent? Will they be able to earn enough to pay for childcare (befire/after school and the school holidays), all the bills, holidays, activities and enough to save for their own place?

How will your child feel having to kick their mum out at 18 in order to get their inheritance?

GSXRCarlos

Lioness_Twinkletoes wrote: »

What is the matter with people on this board? What with this guy not bothered about his partner's future needs and the other amazing catch who wanted to charge his partner the rent he was losing from a lodger - while giving nothing away, (after all, she was lucky to have him!) it is totally clear that romance is well and truly dead.

How is this helpful? We're not talking about romance, We're talking about finances and the sooner people separate the two the better.

I've spent a long time saving up and building up 'my estate', my girlfriend has had debts and various boyfriends who have casused her problems in the past. She lives in MY house, rent free and is now looking after our son. She has maternity pay and I give her money, enough to cover the difference between maternity pay her wages. From that she pays for everything the baby needs and I work and pay to keep a roof over our heads.

This is how we want it and I just want to make sure that they are both protected in the future. If we split up tomorrow the house would still be mine, and I would pay out a lot less in maintenance payments and she would have to find somewhere to live.

GSXRCarlos

Kynthia wrote: »

You've not thought this through. While your partner and child are living in the house your child owns in trust, who pays for maintenance on it? Is your partner expected to fix the damp, get a new boiler, update the electrics, repair or get a new roof, get new Windows, replace the crumbling driveway, etc over the many years until your child is 18? Will she be able to afford this what with saving to buy her own place and working to afford the bills? If she can't your child will be living in increasingly poor conditions and they won't be able to sell to buy a place in better condition.

What if it would be better for your child if they moved for some reason? If either one of them became disabled and needed somewhere more accessible, if close family moved elsewhere and they wanted to follow, if your child has a talent and would benefit from a specialist school somewhere else, etc? They would be stuck.

Your partner would be living mortgage free but have you left them enough that they will be able to raise your child with a decent standard of living as a single parent? Will they be able to earn enough to pay for childcare (befire/after school and the school holidays), all the bills, holidays, activities and enough to save for their own place?

How will your child feel having to kick tgeir mum out at 18 in order to get tgeir inheritance?

Thanks, these are the kind of thing i wanted to discuss.

I want to protect our son as much as them both. What's to stop my partner selling everything and my son not getting anything when he turns 18?

Red-Squirrel_2

GSXRCarlos wrote: »

Thanks, these are the kind of thing i wanted to discuss.

I want to protect our son as much as them both. What's to stop my partner selling everything and my son not getting anything when he turns 18?

Surely the fact that your son is also your partner's son will stop that?

Do you not think she loves him just as much as you do? Not many parents kick their children out and stop bothering with them at 18!

Kynthia

GSXRCarlos wrote: »

Thanks, these are the kind of thing i wanted to discuss.

I want to protect our son as much as them both. What's to stop my partner selling everything and my son not getting anything when he turns 18?

He's her child too and surely you trust her if you're considering marrying her and you had a child with her.

I do understand as I have very young children too and am about to get wills sorted. I do have a small concern that if after my death my husband remarried, then if he died it would all go to his second wife who may not pass anything to my girls. It can be prevented if my husband got a new will after tgat marriage leaving sometging to our girls but I doubt he'd even think about it. However I can't let one unlikely outcome dictate my whole will.

If you want your child to have something directly from you then perhaps look at a separate life insurance with him as a beneficiary, or part of your pension going to him perhaps? I'm sure there must be other options without risking him growing up poorer while there is an asset tied up until he's an adult.