Options for housing my elderly mother

sparky130a

AnotherJoe wrote: »

So, trivial compared to the cost of moving.

In context that comments unfair .....

ERICS_MUM

My Mum sold her house and bought a flat in a retirement complex when she was 83. She was quite mobile for her age but couldn't manage stairs, nor the housework. Also bills were high for the 3 bedroom house.

She absolutely loved the apartment, joined in the many and varied social events and found it so easy to keep her flat clean and tidy. Electricity bills and council tax were a lot cheaper. Mums flat was on the ground floor with a small patio onto communal gardens.

It wasn't a nursing home but each room in the apartment had an emergency cord which when pulled would connect directly through to the emergency-aid company. She also had one of those emergency alarms on a lanyard round her neck - again linked via the phone in a wi-for type of arrangement.

Only drawback was the high maintenance and service costs, roughly £2,500 pa. it included all water, buildings insurance, grounds etc.

Some of the more infirm residents had a cleaner - usually one of the women who cleaned the communal areas who also did private work.

When Mum couldn't manage her cooking we arranged meals on wheels at lunchtime. Luckily I lived nearby so did her shopping and evening meal.

Anyway I'm rambling now but if your Mum could afford it I thoroughly recommend these places. There were 3 complexes in our area so we were able to research and chose the 'best' one for Mum's requirements.

Good luck - it's hard work and a worry looking after elderly parents but obviously very rewarding. Xx

TBagpuss

What does your mum want to do?
Depanding on her prefernces, how much she has or could acess in savings, the structure of her home and availability f other properties she could consider:

- Would she be able to get a stair lift (and are there other options, such as installing / upgrading a downstairs loo so that she doesn't need to go up and downstairs except at night)
- How large is her current property? Would turning a downstairs room into a bedroom, and fitting a bathroom/wetroom be an option, and if so, would she prefer this to moving?
- Would she consider a ground-floor flat (or flat in a building with lifts) as an alternative to a bungalow?
- Are there properties available in any warden controlled / supported properties near to her, and is this something she would consider?
- Does she need, or is she likely to need, other help and support in the near future?

Mojisola

Robin9 wrote: »

But well supported by neighbours without whom she would really struggle.

This was one of the main reasons my parents stayed in the family home. No amount of paid care can replace the support and friendship of a close community.

martindow

If it is at all possible it is far better if your mother can stay in her house with her neighbours and local friends. Moving away from this network of people could be disastrous.

If the layout of the house allows her to live entirely on the ground floor that would be ideal. It may involve some work if there is no bathroom on the ground floor, but you can justify spending a fair sum on this to avoid the expense and fees involved in buying and selling.

teddysmum

Mojisola wrote: »

This was one of the main reasons my parents stayed in the family home. No amount of paid care can replace the support and friendship of a close community.

Much better than somewhere with a warden, who isn't always on duty or a call system that doesn't get immediate response.


There are lots of small disability living businesses setting up ,who sell and install used stair lifts ,some of which were never actually used. Imagine that these will be cheaper than the big names, some of which don't have a good reputation.

Mojisola

teddysmum wrote: »

Much better than somewhere with a warden, who isn't always on duty or a call system that doesn't get immediate response.

There are lots of small disability living businesses setting up ,who sell and install used stair lifts ,some of which were never actually used. Imagine that these will be cheaper than the big names, some of which don't have a good reputation.

I won't name them as this was a few years ago now and the company might have changed but we had one visit from a salesman who used all the old bad 'double glazing salesman' techniques.

He started with an extremely silly price, tried to ignore the results of Mum's assessment and offered lifts that didn't provide what she needed, phoned his manager and dropped the price if we signed up there and then, etc. He eventually stormed out of the house when we said we wanted time to think about it.

The lift we eventually bought was considerably cheaper than his best price and had all the elements that the assessor suggested.

beecher2

Stairlifts take a couple of hours to fit if it is a straightforward staircase, and even less to remove again so don't let the supposed hassle of reselling with it in put you off - it was one of the easier tasks we had to organise when selling up.

Depending on where you live, occupational therapy might come out and there may be grants available for ramps and stairlift. We got help with a ramp but didn't want to wait for the stairlift help.

Agree that it is important to ask your mum what she wants to do though.