Husband has left me, don;t know what to do.

Chris25

I'm sorry, I can't offer you anything but I just wanted to say that I think there's been some great advice on the previous posts and to remind you that you can always find support on here.
Good Luck

beautiful_ravens

As above, if you're joint tenants you have joint rights to live in the house. Also, if he wanted to split up, why hasn't he packed up and moved out? Does this mean its not a joint tenancy? Sounds like he wants the house to himself, and quickly.

motorguy

beautiful_ravens wrote: »

As above, if you're joint tenants you have joint rights to live in the house. Also, if he wanted to split up, why hasn't he packed up and moved out? Does this mean its not a joint tenancy? Sounds like he wants the house to himself, and quickly.

I'm inclined to think the same...

DUTR

caprikid1 wrote: »

This screams of I've met someone else. Sorry its rubbish and after 10 years he owes you far more than that.

Strange....I've seen other posts where the tables are turned and there was no accusation of meeting someone else, people do grow apart sometimes, it takes two to form a realtionship, but only one to end it.

username678

Hi everyone, just wanted to say a really big thank you to everyone who posted. I will reread posts later but for the meantime I wanted to say:

It is a joint tenancy, however he says I can;t go back and live there, and if I do, he will leave and I'll get in to debt because I wouldn't be able to afford the rent on my own wage. We moved in just a few days ago as we had to move from our old place fast and he knew before we moved in that he wanted to end things apparently. The lease is 6 months.

For those of you who suggested taking time off work, I wouldn't, not only do I need the money but the thought of sitting around thinking things over would be awful. I'm lucky that I have some wonderful coworkers and an understanding management team.

I have asked him several times if there is anyone else. He has said no but he met a friend who he seems to like and is apparently much nicer than I am.

Our relationship wasn;t perfect but it was good. He said that I have missed all the signs that he was unhappy and he said that he 'gave it one more chance'. He didn;t tell me that he was unhappy or about the last chance as he finds it hard to communicate at times. If he had, I would've done anything and everything to make it work.

He was and is my best friend, husband and life, and I think being shot in the head would hurt less than this.

System

It is a joint tenancy, however he says I can;t go back and live there, and if I do, he will leave and I'll get in to debt because I wouldn't be able to afford the rent on my own wage.

Equally, he could stop paying his rent and you would both be liable for it. If your going to leave, you need to make sure he takes it over in his sole name.

This happened to a friend of mine.

lika_86

Is there a break clause in the lease?

Personally I'd be getting my stuff (or at the very least the stuff that mattered to me) out of the flat asap, just in case he decided to get vindictive. I know you've been with this man for over 10 years but he no longer seems like the man who thought you knew. Don't assume you know how he will behave.

FBaby

You could go back, he could leave, and then remain responsible for half the lease...unless he asked the Landlord to remove him and LL agreed. I could get messy, it's not worth it and certainly won't achieve what you are still hanging on, him to reconsider his decision.

I'm afraid to say that this new 'friend' is or will be soon his new girlfriend, the one he will claim made him realise how horrible you were to him, who made him see the light and happy again when he was so unhappy before, even if he wasn't fully aware of it.

One day, you'll be the one with open eyes, when you'll have gone over the shock and grief and able to look back and reassess your marriage. It might mean realising that he wasn't the man you thought you'd married or that it could be that you acknowledge your own failure and the impact it had on him and your marriage and you will be able to apply that knowledge on to your next committed relationship, or a bit of both.

Good on you for going to work and trying to get through the process of separation within some normality and people around you. There will be ups and downs, but you will get through it and come out of it stronger.

PeacefulWaters

He was and is my best friend, husband and life, and I think being shot in the head would hurt less than this.

Maybe.

But at some point in the future you'll reach acceptance. Then you'll start again. Then you'll enter a new relationship with more insight on life. You'll know when to call it a day and move on. Or continue with it and let it blossom.

Life has some challenges ahead. But there are new highs to come.

pinkshoes

1. It is over. He has planned this and is not changing his mind. Don't waste your energy fighting his decision. Just agree with him as that will confuse him!

2. Go round to see him, tell him having thought about it, he is right and it is indeed over, and you would like him to sign to agree to put the tenancy in his name only. (Can he afford this??) . You will then need to notify the letting agent of this.

3. Stay with family, cry lots (don't let him know you are upset) and eventually you will realise you are much better off without this heartless a-hole.

4. Save up some money and find a room in a shared house, then move on with your life.