if i make a start . then there has to be an end right ?!

DebtFreeDuo

Good luck with quitting smoking, you will feel so much better if you can stick to it, especially if you're feeling sick afterwards. Think of the extra money this will also give you that you can distribute elsewhere.

mumof3.12kindebt

Nanas party was lovely.
Her 90th and her first ever party.

£11 spent at Tesco. ..
Night chilling out. If baby will settle a. Few hours to do my meds work.

mumof3.12kindebt

I've hit a low point.
I'm phsyically and mentally exhausted.

I stopped taking my Meds last week. And now I feel awful.

Why do I do this to myself.

Plan is to get back to my normal self. Get back on the right track then I will concentrate more on my finances. For now as long as the bills are paid and there is food in my cupboard that's all that matters.

DebtFreeDuo

You absolutely need to put yourself first, as long as the minimum payments are being met then for now concentrate on you.

117pauline

Dear mum of 3

You mentioned in some post that small steps was the way to go and that is absolutely right.

Take a look at your spreadsheet. Just see what you have achieved. Now look again and give yourself the credit you deserve.

Every now and again we have moments where it seems that we are overwhelmed. So cup of tea and a deep breath then tell yourself you are doing your best. Not perfect, but your best. It's how you respond next.

Consolidate. Yes it would be great to be debt free but it would be better to take a few months longer and get there without tearing yourself apart.

You have been making an average of £591 overpayment per month. That is a huge figure. Perhaps a smaller payment this month will give you the headspace to regroup.

Some of can't live happily without medication. I wish it wasn't the case but for me I need several medications to survive and thrive. About once a year I feel good and in my wisdom I reduce/stop some. Then I am upset when things begin to overwhelm me. I am in my 50s and still do it though less now I keep a journal.

Please don't let this feeling drag you down. Talk to your GP and start the medications if that is what is recommended.

Keep posting on your diary and you will get support. Just wish I could give you a hug.

Take care, this too shall pass
Pauline

mumof3.12kindebt

Thankyou both for such kind replies.
It's not the debt getting me down. I dont let that get too me too much now after nearly having a break down years ago and then within 12 months paying it all off.
My bipolar has hit a knock. I've gone into a depression for the first time In 6 months.
I'll be seeking advice from my gp tomorrow.
I'll be posting as much as I can to keep me motivated.

I always pay over the minimum. At the end of the month I'll be reviewing finances before next pay and see what I can Pay. I know I have enough for at least the minimum.
I have my 3 month meeting with my boss tomorrow. Ive done some overtime this month but think I nees to cut back to my normal part time hours until I feel better again.
Like you both said I need to put myself first. And for once I will. Because I'm no good to anyone stuck in this place.

Hugs to all that need or want one. We have a staff meeting today at work and I'm dreading it. I'll try and catch up later.

mumof3.12kindebt

I've just spoke to my manager. No need to go to staff meeting today. She's going to fill me in before shift tomorrow

117pauline

I am really pleased you are going to talk to your GP. I hope you have one you can open up too, they are worth their weight in gold.

And good luck with the meeting tomorrow. Perhaps just cutting your overtime will help you feel more in control. With three children I imagine you are always extremely busy.

Take care
Pauline

mumof3.12kindebt

Thankyou Pauline.
Yes you are correct. 3 kids working and fighting my cerebal palsy and bipolar daily can be exhausting and I rarely find time to relax.

Don't get me wrong. I love my life and rarely my health gets me down . I've just hit a bump in the road. I've took my medication for my bipolar tonight. Half the dose I should take. Will get an appointment tomorrow for advice regarding weaning back on it properly.

I also suffer with cycling vomiting syndrome related migraines and have been suffering most days for the last 2 months. I think everything regarding my health has just got to much.

I am glad for one thing though. I'm so glad I started this diary it will help me to talk when I feel I dont want to. So you will see good and bad times throughout my journey but hopefully mainly good.

On the trying to feel more positive side. I've been having regular clear outs since I split with my ex. But we have so much stuff. And little space. So I'm aiming for a more minamilist lifestyle.
First step is too full a bin bag a day every day I'm not working.

I will get back to my better place. But I don't have a magic wand and have to tell myself it takes time.
Work is becoming quiet stressful. I'm not sure if I've mentioned before but I'm a health care worker at a residential / care home. I love my job but it's very physical. I'm going to see how the next few months go and if by early next year Im still getting as tired I think I'm going to look for something less physically demanding. What I don't know as I never imagined doing anything else.

I've come to bed anyway to get a good night sleep hopefully.

mumof3.12kindebt

Had a restful nights sleep. First good night in about two weeks.
Work later.
Did do a quick job search last night but not really sure what I'd enjoy other than what I'm already doing. Think I'm going to seek doctors advice regarding better pain relief before I consider a job change properly. If i then still feel so physically drained I will reevaluate my options.

Overall I feel alot better today. A good night sleep has really helped.

Can't believe this year is so close to being over.

My spread sheet isn't too tough regarding debt as I've allowed us too start saving at the same time.
I'm hoping by this time next year our accounts will look better than they do now. And our debt will be nearly paid. I'm concentrating on my credit card and catalogue first. Then once they are paid off will start over paying on my debt again. I use my basic wage in income calculations. Any extra will be split equally between debt and savings.

I will give a total on the first of January next year of our remaining debt. And any savings.