Why are staff so quick to stab managers in the back?

Snakey

I am sure your manager has a pretty good idea that his staff slag him off behind his back, and I'm sure he doesn't care. Yes, you could perhaps hurt him by spelling out the specifics of exactly who said precisely what, especially if it's something cruel related to his appearance or his family life, but that's all.

Don't forget managers were staff once. So they not only know that it happens, they also understand why. And that there will be some individuals who mean every word of it and really hate, but that the majority are just letting off steam, bonding with their team, enjoying being part of it.

I could not give a rat's !!!! who hates me. I do the best job I can with managing the team, I make sure the work gets done properly by the right people and that we are adequately resourced and that performance issues are dealt with, I push people to do better and to develop their careers, I fight their corner where appropriate, and I make the best decisions about the future strategy as I can with the information available to me.

I don't expect them to appreciate this, because they don't see half of it. I could spend three hours in back-to-back meetings negotiating pay rises for my team when (for all I know) they are sniping behind my back about how I'm "swanning around doing no work all morning". I can fight to get somebody a £2k raise when the bosses only thought he was worth £1k, and then have him hate me because he thinks he should have had at least £3k and that the only reason he didn't is that I don't like him. That's just the way it goes.

The people I'm more concerned about are the ones directly above and beside me, because they're the ones whose machinations can actually impact what happens to my team. So, to the extent that I play office politics, that's where my energies are directed. Team issues are only of interest to me if it's getting in the way of work or morale, or if it's looking like we have a saboteur.

daytona0

Snakey wrote: »

I don't expect them to appreciate this, because they don't see half of it. I could spend three hours in back-to-back meetings negotiating pay rises for my team when (for all I know) they are sniping behind my back about how I'm "swanning around doing no work all morning". I can fight to get somebody a £2k raise when the bosses only thought he was worth £1k, and then have him hate me because he thinks he should have had at least £3k and that the only reason he didn't is that I don't like him. That's just the way it goes.

Yea OP, that's one thing you've got to learn as a manager; there will be times when you do some really good stuff for your staff but they just won't appreciate it!

Gotta take that sort of thing on the chin. It isn't personal, they just can't "see the bigger picture" hence why they aren't in the hotseat....

I have practically begged my bosses on occasions just to prevent someone from getting sacked because I felt that it was the wrong decision. You have to have some balls to do that and I certainly wouldn't recommend a new manager to be that bold right off the bat, because even I got put into place on occasion, but its all about being true to yourself and developing a strong sense of self.

xapprenticex

Snakey wrote: »

I am sure your manager has a pretty good idea that his staff slag him off behind his back, and I'm sure he doesn't care. Yes, you could perhaps hurt him by spelling out the specifics of exactly who said precisely what, especially if it's something cruel related to his appearance or his family life, but that's all.

Don't forget managers were staff once. So they not only know that it happens, they also understand why. And that there will be some individuals who mean every word of it and really hate, but that the majority are just letting off steam, bonding with their team, enjoying being part of it.

I could not give a rat's !!!! who hates me. I do the best job I can with managing the team, I make sure the work gets done properly by the right people and that we are adequately resourced and that performance issues are dealt with, I push people to do better and to develop their careers, I fight their corner where appropriate, and I make the best decisions about the future strategy as I can with the information available to me.

I don't expect them to appreciate this, because they don't see half of it. I could spend three hours in back-to-back meetings negotiating pay rises for my team when (for all I know) they are sniping behind my back about how I'm "swanning around doing no work all morning". I can fight to get somebody a £2k raise when the bosses only thought he was worth £1k, and then have him hate me because he thinks he should have had at least £3k and that the only reason he didn't is that I don't like him. That's just the way it goes.

The people I'm more concerned about are the ones directly above and beside me, because they're the ones whose machinations can actually impact what happens to my team. So, to the extent that I play office politics, that's where my energies are directed. Team issues are only of interest to me if it's getting in the way of work or morale, or if it's looking like we have a saboteur.

Wow, brilliant response, i totally agree and what you say makes perfect sense.

daytona0 wrote: »

Yea OP, that's one thing you've got to learn as a manager; there will be times when you do some really good stuff for your staff but they just won't appreciate it!

Gotta take that sort of thing on the chin. It isn't personal, they just can't "see the bigger picture" hence why they aren't in the hotseat....

I have practically begged my bosses on occasions just to prevent someone from getting sacked because I felt that it was the wrong decision. You have to have some balls to do that and I certainly wouldn't recommend a new manager to be that bold right off the bat, because even I got put into place on occasion, but its all about being true to yourself and developing a strong sense of self.

Yep, i get it now, to be honest, I don't care what people say about me, as far as im concerned if nobody is talking about you then you are doing it all wrong.

My issue was people who act like your biggest supporters then switch on you when you are away, I've just never been that way inclined ever, if I've got your back in your presence then I'll have it when you're away too, its a matter of integrity to me but that's an individual thing i guess.

xapprenticex

Had my first complaint today, it actually made my day. :beer:

Takeaway_Addict

xapprenticex wrote: »

Had my first complaint today, it actually made my day. :beer:

what was it about?

mattcanary

ruperts wrote: »

In my experience it's rarely meant personally or with any genuine malice. Having a good exaggerated whinge about your boss is good for stress relief and also for bonding with other staff who are at the same level as you, as your boss is often one of few things you all have in common.

I*t's a load of old !!!!!!!! really!

If you genuinely have something against your boss fair enough, but just !!!!!ing about him behind whilst behaving like his best friend face-to-face is back is just pathetic really, and totally insincere.

mattcanary

PasturesNew wrote: »

It's free team building.

There's an imbalance of power in a manager/staff relationship - and, while everybody might like the manager, it's often not a good idea to show your hand to your colleagues. You might want their job or have aspirations .... and it's not good to "get on with your colleagues" if you stick out from the pack, so everybody follows the lead's position... it's all pack animal stuff.

Nobody wants to look like a "lick 4rse", hence the banter. It's all pecking order stuff really.

And a load of insincere self-serving !!!!!!!!.

To be honest, I have experienced very little of this from colleagues in my last two office jobs.
People have hardly ever !!!!!ed about the manager.

mattcanary

xapprenticex wrote: »

yeah thats another thing..... its insane.

You just obviously don;t work with very nice people!

xapprenticex

mattcanary wrote: »

You just obviously don;t work with very nice people!

Na they are not bad, they just get miserable at times and moan, only one person moaned about me and it ended in me and my manager having a laugh about it. But then on the flip-side i had someone today tell me I'd be a good manager.