Help Me Please

jk89

Hi Everyone,

Without going in to too much detail I am 27 year old and I have racked up £18,000 in credit card / loan debt chasing gambling losses. Other than this problem I am a good person but unfortunately I have now hit rock bottom. I am getting to the point where I am in debt crisis. My life is going to fall apart and I am scared and considering extreme actions. I have been searching for that clean slate but it has never come, I have been battling this issue for seven years now and now my debts have reached the highest they have ever been I am losing the will to keep up the battle. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

StopIt

First: Call the Samaritans, I mean it.


If only to offload, they're there to help, never to judge and frankly, money troubles are nothing to your overall health so forget about that.


If you're in less than £20k of debt, have no assets and fit other criteria when it comes to earnings, you can apply for a DRO. This basically wipes the debt you have and may be an idea.


Either way, speak to a debt charity like StepChange, and also seek help if you haven't already to combat any gambling issues you have.


Lastly. Don't even put the "Other than this" bit when describing yourself. I'm going to assume you're not a murderer and say that you're a good person. Get all the help you need. There's always a way out, I promise.

GeorgianaCavendish

Hi JK, well done for posting, you've taken one of the hardest steps already.

The advice from StopIt is good, give the Samaritans a call : their number is 116 123 (this number is free to call from both landlines and mobiles, including pay-as-you-go mobiles. You do not need to have any credit or call allowance on your plan to call)

Step Change Debt Charity is also a good call, their number is 0800 138 1111 and their website is at https://www.stepchange.org

There is a thread on here for Ex and Would-be Ex Gamblers,
take a look and maybe post again there for support?
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=1090463

I know it feels overwhelming right now but there are people out there ready to help you and you can turn things around, no matter how bad it seems right now.

another_casualty

Great post above . Great courage you posting here at this difficult time.
Stepchange and gamblers anonymous would be the places I would start.
You are young enough to turn your life around .
We all make mistakes one way or another .
You will probably find that now you have posted here for the first time, you may feel a bit calmer once all the advice comes your way on this thread .
Follow what is mentioned , and things will slowly improve for you
Wishing you all the best

jk89

Thanks for all the quick replies and advice. I am sure my parents will do all they can to help me out, plucking up the courage to tell them how stupid I have been is another thing I have been in debt so long now it is a constant wait on my shoulders slowly grinding me down, hopefully I can pluck up the courage to speak to them and work a way out of my mess. In summary the reason I posted I guess is the big problem for me; whatever scenario, I am looking at another 3-5 years of paying of debt which I don't know if I can hack ;(

GeorgianaCavendish

Hi JK, I know it is scary telling other people about your debt but in my experience it was not as bad as I had imagined it to be. I've got just under 27K of debt across loans and credit cards (down from 35K when I started!) and although it is a bit scary when I think about the numbers and the amount of time left to go, but I can honestly say that sitting down and taking control of my finances has been such a positive experience for me.
I had never been responsible with money before and I kept myself ignorant of things like interest rates on purpose. I feel like now I'm managing to get control over my finances and my life (cheesy at that sounds!) and I'm constantly amazed about how much I am capable of doing. You will be able to cope with this, and if you can get help from your parents that will be even better

Hiddenidenity

I could have posted this myself back in March, only I have 3 small kids and was on the verge of losing our home and everything else along with it.

It all came to a head in March when I broke down and was forced to come clean.

I can't say the "urge" to gamble has gone, it does still happen sometimes. However I've found now I've confessed "all" to my other half and mum I know I can turn to someone when I need too.

I got my partner to change all my passwords on gambling accounts online. He has access to my online banking to "check up" on what I'm doing.

Please seek help from somewhere, be that a parent, a relative a friend or a professional. The first step is the hardest and the only way from there is up!

UncannyScot

Hi
Just echoing what the others have said, there is help and support at hand, seek it out and use it...
The folks here are very supportive as you have seen and also we are non-judgemental, we are all here to help each other in whatever way we can and we will help you through this...

jk89

Thanks everyone. If it wouldn't break my mum's and girlfriends hearts I honestly think I might do something. Me and my girlfriend are saving up for a house deposit so telling her I've set us back two or three years is going to be tough.

another_casualty

jk89 wrote: »

Thanks everyone. If it wouldn't break my mum's and girlfriends hearts I honestly think I might do something. Me and my girlfriend are saving up for a house deposit so telling her I've set us back two or three years is going to be tough.

Don't 'do something ' . You have many positives that we don't know about . Other areas of your life are ok. You have a girlfriend , and eventually you will get your house. You are working also.
Just see what others say, and take a deep breath .
You have made a very good move by joining this forum.
Please be patient.

Booooo

jk89 wrote: »

Thanks everyone. If it wouldn't break my mum's and girlfriends hearts I honestly think I might do something. Me and my girlfriend are saving up for a house deposit so telling her I've set us back two or three years is going to be tough.

Yes that's going to be so very though, no doubt about it

Yet isn't the truth now , whilst you have time to turn it around, so much better then getting caught up more and more in a lie and debt?

£18k is a scarey amount, yet read these boards and see how many people have come back from far greater amounts in relatively small amount of time


You have made the fist step, well done. Now take the help and support you will get from here to make the next


The very best of luck x