£15,000 to 0

Silver_Queen

Quick catch up.

Spent £35 or so on a hilarious magnum of prosecco and some other booze for my sister's upcoming 18th birthday party which I'm hosting. My other sister should be splitting this with me or she will pay more for the joint gift, either way it will even out. We'll split the cost of the party overall so I anticipate we'll each spend about £50.

£25 in restaurant on Saturday.

£3 spent on other food.

Inconveniently, OH's birthday is just a couple of days after my sister's and he also has two siblings whose birthdays are this month. I wasn't planning to buy for his siblings and I don't think I will. The general rule is that I do my siblings and he does his. He has so many, and I tend to spend more on my siblings so it makes sense that we each deal with our own.

I've promised OH I will take him for dinner and surprise him as to where, he loves surprises but I am godawful at keeping secrets so he already knows what I'm getting him gift-wise!

Just keeping an eye on all the accounts this month, no increase in savings sadly but everything is budgeted for at least.

Silver_Queen

OMG Just been told it's my grandma's birthday coming up :eek: we've never ever done anything or bought gifts etc for either grandmother, it's not a thing in our family/culture so I didn't even know when her birthday was.

Need to figure out her birthday gift now too!

So that's OH, sister, grandma and 2 x OH siblings in September :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

lonelyrat

September is such a popular birthday month! Mine's right at the end :cool: I'm getting quite excited, OH is hyping me up about it on purpose I think. We're going camping for it, but he's surprising me with where so am really looking forward to it. I requested somewhere with mountains we could go up, but he isn't particularly keen on hill walking it seems so may not transpire. Fingers crossed for me anyway!

Hope all the birthdays you are involved in are fun

How did you get on with the coat return?

Silver_Queen

lonelyrat wrote: »

September is such a popular birthday month! Mine's right at the end :cool: I'm getting quite excited, OH is hyping me up about it on purpose I think. We're going camping for it, but he's surprising me with where so am really looking forward to it. I requested somewhere with mountains we could go up, but he isn't particularly keen on hill walking it seems so may not transpire. Fingers crossed for me anyway!

Hope all the birthdays you are involved in are fun

How did you get on with the coat return?

OH is right at the end too! Clearly everyone's parents have a really good time around New Year :rotfl:

Your birthday thing sounds lovely. I'm always so incredibly jealous of all the lovely nature around you. It must be really relaxing! I hope you have an excellent time and are spoiled like you deserve to be

I got my money back for the coat but sadly it seems the gift card is kaput, which is frustrating.

Silver_Queen

Big life update.

Money
Doing OK-ish money wise. Not fantastic but not dreadful. Savings have slid significantly because of booking NY which I probably couldn't really afford to do. This is linked with work and mental health below...

I have purchased a new phone because my one is having software issues. It's old enough now that the latest software isn't supported and is causing dropped calls, glitches, random shut downs etc. I had a moment of 'treat yo self' at the weekend and ordered the new iPhone which again, I probably did not need to do. I did find a truly bargainous deal for it considering how much it's costing at the moment but it's still quite a lot more than necessary. I've thought and thought about it though and have decided to keep it. I probably need a bit of a telling off about this but I don't think it's going to stop me from keeping it...

Have not done many surveys lately, mostly because I can't get any! Cashed in on Populus but nothing on Prolific for a while.

I've definitely let down my hair a little when it comes to money. This is linked to mental health below.

Work
Still having a rough time at work. It comes and goes. We're in a major period of short staffed-ness at work and it's causing me a huge amount of stress because of workload and in conjunction to that, I'm taking on responsibilities that aren't really part of my role. I can't complain too much because it's giving me opportunities and experience that I could not even dream of for another 20 years in my field otherwise. Unfortunately this has been taking a toll on me which I've been trying to alleviate (see below again!)


Relationship
Everything is OK on OH front. I'm at a stage where I'm ready to move forward ie live together, share finances, etc. He is looking to move but the job market doesn't seem too great for him at the moment. A work in progress. I can't help but feel a little worried age-wise - he is in his early-mid thirties - whether we're going to end up leaving it a bit late for him to have children (I am not ready and don't think I will be for another 5-8 years at least) and both our finances etc. I keep going through phases of hardcore saving but it makes me miserable and then I end up splurging.

I've talked again and again about wanting to buy a house but I'm disappointed in myself about this because I'm worried I will never be able to get my act together enough to be able to buy one. I want to buy with OH but am worried it would end badly. Can you tell I'm a worrier?! :rotfl:

Health

Mental health is the key thing here. From my recent posts and this epic post you can probably tell things are looking a bit rough for me. It's all linked. I have a bad time mental health wise and try to cheer myself up with spending. I then feel bad and the vicious cycle continues.

I've been trying to do non-monetary things to help myself. More walks, going somewhere where there's greenery, no checking work emails after work or at weekends. Those are my self-imposed rules and they don't go down very well with my employers who would rather I was available 25/8.

I've also decided to be a little less strict with my spending. Less my monthly debt payments of £250, I actually do have money left over which I am currently trying to save. I have reminded myself that I'm in my early 20s and try to remember that I have plenty of time. I currently have no dependants. I feel deprived from my attempts at frugality when in reality, I'm not really being that frugal anyway. Better to allow myself to spend money and really enjoy what I'm spending it on, rather than feel eternally guilty whenever I do spend anything.

Other things I'm doing to try to help myself mental health wise - I've gotten back into drawing. I used to love drawing but stopped almost a decade ago (!) because I thought I had more important things to do. I find it incredibly relaxing and it's also a very cheap hobby!

I've deleted most of my social media so I don't get bombarded with pretty pictures of perfect lives and the latest greatest product. Make up is my weakness so I no longer follow any new releases. This has helped my anxiety, self-confidence and has had the added effect of saving some money. I do miss it sometimes because I'm so behind on any news but it's worth the trade off.

Phew, this basically summarises my life and has been pretty cathartic to write. If you're still with me, thanks for reading!

Working_Mum

You should be proud you are making pro-active changes to your life so that you feel better living it. It's how you build resilience.

Do you know how long it'll be until you're debt free? If it take a little bit longer to pay everything back but you build in some guilt free pennies then that sounds like a good plan! I give myself £150 each weeks and this is my FFF money (Food, Fuel & Fun money) - so I have a degree of flexibility and feel less trapped. I sometimes eat beans on toast or out of the freezer all week if I am socialising a lot - but for me this is a worthwhile trade off!

I started the penny per day and £ per week savings plans this year - this means at the end of the years I will have almost £2k to use for Christmas BUT it is also my emergency fund. I have accrued it weekly and without having a major impact on my life because I took a longer term view.

As far as your OH is concerned, age is just a number you know...I was 31 when I had my son and 34 when I had my daughter. I am in my early 50's now and would say i have had several lifetimes in my fifty odd years - I definitely didn't think I'd end up self-employed and divorced etc at my age but you have to learn to roll with the punches and flex your life to suit you as it happens and this is what you are learning to do.

Remember this is your budget and it is down to you to move it around and flex it as you feel is appropriate given your goals and dealing with real life!!

Keep on going!

Treadingonplaymobil

Sorry you've been struggling with your mental health. It's rubbish when you feel like you are paddling and paddling and not getting anywhere (I've BEEN there). Maybe when you're feeling a bit less flat it's time to reassess your goals/spending and see whether you can cut yourself some slack in some areas, and maybe get a couple of easy wins in others. For us, the decision has been to pay back debt much more slowly than we were at the start of our journey, because continuing to pay at a higher rate was just so ridiculously bleak and awful.

Re your OH's age, I wouldn't stress too much - my dad is 15 years older than my mum and was 49 when I was born. It's only in recent years (literally the last two or three) where it's really become apparent how much older he is in terms of health etc. Other than that it's made absolutely zero difference to my upbringing, he still did everything a younger dad would have.

Silver_Queen

Working_Mum wrote: »

You should be proud you are making pro-active changes to your life so that you feel better living it. It's how you build resilience.

Do you know how long it'll be until you're debt free? If it take a little bit longer to pay everything back but you build in some guilt free pennies then that sounds like a good plan! I give myself £150 each weeks and this is my FFF money (Food, Fuel & Fun money) - so I have a degree of flexibility and feel less trapped. I sometimes eat beans on toast or out of the freezer all week if I am socialising a lot - but for me this is a worthwhile trade off!

I started the penny per day and £ per week savings plans this year - this means at the end of the years I will have almost £2k to use for Christmas BUT it is also my emergency fund. I have accrued it weekly and without having a major impact on my life because I took a longer term view.

As far as your OH is concerned, age is just a number you know...I was 31 when I had my son and 34 when I had my daughter. I am in my early 50's now and would say i have had several lifetimes in my fifty odd years - I definitely didn't think I'd end up self-employed and divorced etc at my age but you have to learn to roll with the punches and flex your life to suit you as it happens and this is what you are learning to do.

Remember this is your budget and it is down to you to move it around and flex it as you feel is appropriate given your goals and dealing with real life!!

Keep on going!

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

Sorry you've been struggling with your mental health. It's rubbish when you feel like you are paddling and paddling and not getting anywhere (I've BEEN there). Maybe when you're feeling a bit less flat it's time to reassess your goals/spending and see whether you can cut yourself some slack in some areas, and maybe get a couple of easy wins in others. For us, the decision has been to pay back debt much more slowly than we were at the start of our journey, because continuing to pay at a higher rate was just so ridiculously bleak and awful.

Re your OH's age, I wouldn't stress too much - my dad is 15 years older than my mum and was 49 when I was born. It's only in recent years (literally the last two or three) where it's really become apparent how much older he is in terms of health etc. Other than that it's made absolutely zero difference to my upbringing, he still did everything a younger dad would have.

Thank you both so much for your contributions. It really does make me feel better. I think I have to really keep in mind that at the end of the day, it's my life and my budget so I can amend it as I see fit without feeling guilty.

TOPM, you are a major driving force behind my change of mindset from being miserable and trying to pay off debt ASAP, to where I am now where I prioritise my mental health and relationships with friends and family over the money aspect of things.

Knowing about your dad and mum's age gap makes me feel a bit better too. I won't be compromising on waiting until I'm absolutely ready to get married/have kids/settle down but I was getting a bit :eek: about OH's age. It's not really my issue to worry about but I am such a natural worrier!

Silver_Queen

I'm also really proud that I've worked out how to use the multi quote function! :rotfl:

Silver_Queen

Trying to get to the end of the month with budgets at least slightly intact. Very short of funds now!

Unfortunately OH has now been told that he will no longer be allowed to do overtime. Our finances aren't merged so it doesn't have an immediate impact on me but it means that our savings goals will have to be reassessed. He was previously earning around £200-£300 per month overtime which he was saving. He doesn't earn very much on his basic salary so it's disappointing that he won't be able to do this anymore.