How to move on?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

skint_chick wrote: »

That sounds like he very much regrets his decision to leave you and is annoyed that you aren't still pining for him! My ex is the same, he was abusive, I finally left, but it took me months to cut off contact, when I did he started sending abuse, contacted all my friends and employer, made up lies about things I did and said, followed me. This went on for years, we only had a 'relationship' for 2 years - even now 10 years on and he lives on another continent, but still sends me emails about how I was never good enough for him the first place, and we were never in a relationship, it was all in my head (obviously he forgot the house we owned together)!

Oh, dear Lord, I hope not _pale_.

I pined for him for all of - erm - um -urrrrmmmmm - nope, I held my breath as the door slammed shut and I listened to him stomp down the stairs. then once I heard the car revving its nuts off and screeching down the quiet residential road that children played in, there wasn't a bang or a scream, I listened to it roaring until he was about 1/3 mile away - and then I let out the sigh of relief.

Seeing as he'd moved in with somebody else by the following Sunday, the following weekend, but claimed to the contrary for three years, he was just living at his Mum's, he did seem a bit put out when I said I was going out so wouldn't be back until just before Offspring's bedtime, rather than him dropping her off at 1.30pm, especially when he kept messaging on various weeks to say he'd be back in ten minutes (living 45 minutes away), only to be told 'I'm not there until the 6pm time agreed).


Nah, it couldn't be. Please don't let it be. He makes Donald Trump look like a reasoned and caring man, compared to the venom and poison that comes out of his mouth about women and migrants (none of which emerged until I was pregnant).=, never mind the other stuff he did or said all the time.


Anyways, as I said, complete disinterest and indifference is far better for you than hate, OP.

DigForVictory

Best revenge is a life well lived, so dig out your passport & go on a bunch of city breaks. Learn another language, take rescue dogs for walks, get out of the usual 4 walls & do (almost) anything.

He will fade, given time, and three months is a good start but don't check too carefully - you need still more time to let him moss over...

Meantime, have fun!

WibblyGirly

A few rebound nights helped me! knowing I could go out and pull lads way fitter than my ex gave my self esteem a boost when I needed it so when I met someone else I was in a better place and happy with myself without the self doubt I had before.
It took time though. I think the first 3 months I went quite crazy and cried a lot. Then friends took me out and over the next 3 months a lightbulb went off in my head that I was better off without him. You just need something to make you realise that too and the anger and jealousy just disappears (or it did for me!)
I wish you the best of luck for future happiness

ali-t

Someone on here used to have a quote in their sig that reminds me of your situation. Feeling anger/hatred etc is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You are the only one it will hurt. I agree with the others about filling your time - more time doing and less time thinking and soon he will be a distant memory. A wee rebound fling or hook up is also a good thing so your ex is no longer your last.

Here's to a happy future.