All Gone Wrong - Housing offer.

Cakeguts

I am not sure what you mean by deaf and dumb? Do you mean a deaf couple who use sign language? What would you expect them to do if they have never been hearing and have never heard speech? Not being able to hear or speak doesn't make them less intelligent or unable to look after a child. I am sure that they can communicate fine with the hearing world.

Gleeful

Are you ok, Deannatrois?

[Deleted User]

OK thank goodness things are a lot better now. Probably the worst time of my life at the time. Hugely stressful.

My concerns were that I was being given a house swap which is one thing, but threatened with eviction if I didn't take it up as if it was a property offer. Increased stress. Shelter did agree that they'd never heard of a scenario like this and would have taken the case on. I decided not to pursue the legalities of this as by the time the case had been registered with legal aid I would have either been evicted or moved (two weeks isn't long).

As I was concerned would happen, lots of problems communicating with the other party. Initially they were ignoring all forms of communication unless they were made through the support worker. Hence they didn't accept the offer until 10 days after it had been made. They had a very overworked support worker, who only last week told my son's social worker to communicate with the other party because he had too heavy a caseload. This caused big delays in getting anything arranged, which I suspected would be the case and was important with this 'move in two weeks or you'll be evicted' letter hanging over us.

My sons' social worker has worked very hard (all credit to her) and is unofficially acting for the whole family until I can be allocated a support worker.

We did mutual viewings end of last week, did manage to communicate most things (difficulties with others). My sons' social worker was told there are words/concepts that just aren't covered with BSL so we tried our best to work around that. Trying to explain paying for utilities by DD (which I do rather than have a prepayment meter) was quite amusing, even writing it down I could see they didn't understand. I have felt quite bad for the other party all the way through this and felt worse after I viewed the property as there is no doubt I am getting the better part of the deal and they don't want to move. In the contact I had with them, it was apparent that yes they were deaf and unable to speak but there were other difficulties as well. I desperately didn't want to upset them. The gentleman in particular was shall we say a bit 'jumpy' and I felt they were very vulnerable and needed handling carefully, which I am not the best person at doing as I have ASD. Things occur to me afterwards, not during verbal communication and given the situation it was all too easy to say the wrong thing without realising and make the situation more difficult for them. The place needs total redecoration which I expected and there's no flooring (I did do both to this place) but that's not a big problem.

I gather from posts on here it was felt that I am 'anti' the special needs the other party have. Not the case at all, I felt it made them very vulnerable and had already experienced the difficulties in communicating with them. At the time, I didn't know how to get over this within the time limit housing had given. It took Housing, and two social workers to work it out. There are too many people on here who go for the 'quick score' and don't realise that I was already on the edge. It made things worse.

Castegating me for perceived 'anti special needs' attitudes when I am very very pro special needs having dealt with them for 20 years was not helpful. Both my sons have ASD, it turns out I have ASD, so I am very very aware of the ramifications of communication difficulties. I am here, dealing with the situation and was aware of the problems these needs were causing with the two week time limit for moving. I was trying to explain that that time was not enough because of the special needs.., not be anti special needs. Fortunately we did get a slight extension eventually.

The problem all the way through this was the stringent moving time which didn't take into account the special needs of both parties (I have my own).

We are moving on 17th. Some problems I will have to deal with, but its all sorted, even hiring the same removal people to make it easier.

In the end, even Housing were pushed to get involved in sorting the mess out. It was only at that point that things started moving. Up until then they were saying 'sort it out amongst yourselves' which was proving to be impossible. The other party were just ignoring all communications. I could understand this as they are obviously very vulnerable.., but was worried we'd get evicted through no fault of our own too.., it was a difficult situation to be in as I was at war with myself. Concerned for them, feeling it was wrong, scared of being evicted, absolute frustration all at the same time.

So we are moving and its to permanent accommodation. I can paint to my hearts desire lol. (Probationary tenancy for the first year obviously). Feel like out lives are starting again, thank goodness.

If they are willing I will make sure the other party feel able to get in contact with me if there are any problems.

To RosieandJim, they are being moved from a ground floor maisonette to a ground floor maisonette. Because it was a house swap there was no possibility of paying rent on both properties for a week. It was move by that date or be evicted. The communication difficulties made that difficult.

seven-day-weekend

Although I didn't particularly understand what the problem was in the first place (was it the time limit?), I'm very pleased that you now have a permanent home. Congratulations!

[Deleted User]

Yes definitely was the time limit. Not all over yet, got a week to go.

BrassicWoman

I'm very very glad this looks like it will work out and have everything crossed for you!

sparky130a

Light at the end of the tunnel! Hurrah! :T

Now just keep it cool and get it done lady...

Winter_Phoenix

You've been through so much, Deannatrois. I hope this is the beginning of a happy and peaceful phase of your life. Wishing you fine weather on moving day!