Becoming adults

mollycat

trailingspouse wrote: »

Interesting that you called this thread 'becoming adults'.

I had thought the title was ironic!!

Left school and working at 16. (and have done ever since).

Out the family home with my own tenancy at 17.

Married and a homeowner by early 20's.

Nothing special about all of this; it was typical in the 70's/80's I think.

Had always considered myself as an adult at 16 and accepted the responsibilities rthat went with it.

Not really sure why things are different now? :cool:

RememberMe

I personally think that in a relationship it is more fair to split bills based on a % rather than 50/50. Surely the person earning more wouldn't feel comfortable having so much more disposable income when the other is struggling to have anything left at the end of the month? Hardly fair. I understand 50/50 if two people are just cohabiters but if you're in a relationship surely it's different?

macman

The late payments will remain on your credit files for 6 years-unfortunately that won't look good if you are credit checked for a tenancy, or a mortgage application.
I don't think anyone can determine for you how you should split the expenses. Don't forget you will also need a deposit if renting, of at least one month's rent.

phillw

andersonr wrote: »

Thank you. We earn quite a difference between us. My take home around £1600 and my partner is £2100. So a 50/50 split not really fair?

It depends on the relationship. I would start with a 50/50 split because during the honeymoon period the beginning the higher earning person can be suckered into paying more but it is too easy to turn into resentment.

Persuading your partner to save the extra money for the future is a much better way, as if you split up then it's their money but if you stay together then you'll eventually pool it all if you start a more serious relationship.

But you might be happy having an unequal relationship, where they continually judge you. Until you've been through it then you can't know how you'll react. If you like them then I wouldn't take the risk.

takman

RememberMe wrote: »

I personally think that in a relationship it is more fair to split bills based on a % rather than 50/50. Surely the person earning more wouldn't feel comfortable having so much more disposable income when the other is struggling to have anything left at the end of the month? Hardly fair. I understand 50/50 if two people are just cohabiters but if you're in a relationship surely it's different?

Well if they both pay in £1000 each then one will have £600 left over and the other will have £1200 left over. £600 a month to spend on luxuries isn't struggling by any means. I think this is the fairest way to do it considering that they are only just moving in together.

If you split it by percentage then the higher earner is subsidising the lower earner which is unfair.

If everyone assumes 50/50 then that's a good starting point considering the OP isn't sure how to do it.

Marchitiello

Agreed with takman and that is why I have said there are arguement for both cases. That is how started with my now wife. Once the Salary gap started widening a lot and especially once we started having kids and she had to take Maternity, we have gone to the the proportional route, but the disposable income that I have in excess is still mostly spent on the family or family social activities...

Snakey

Make sure any decision you make about bill-splitting is future-proof i.e. understand that the "right" decision is not necessarily the one that gives you the better deal today.

When I met my ex-husband he earned about 50% more than I did and felt very strongly that it "wouldn't be fair" to split the bills any other way than 50:50. Four years later I passed some important exams and the situation turned on its head literally overnight. He had a really hard time dealing with that reversal and it was a factor in us splitting up.

The next relationship I was in, I earned more plus he was a spender while I was a saver. To prevent it ever being an issue I did as Phillw suggests above - the excess of my salary over his went in to my pension so we both had the same take-home pay.

It is 14 years since I last clapped eyes on ex #2, and I am very very glad that that money is in my pension fund and not frittered away long ago in the name of "fairness" by somebody who was not in fact my life partner after all. It's possible that ex #1 would say the same about me, of course - but he may also have been kicking himself that he hadn't chosen to share his money for those four years in return for a lifetime of sharing mine as my career developed.

RememberMe

Tory Britain for you