A positive note from an Executor

Curlylady

Good evening all,
I have used this forum for the past year seeking advice and reading others experiences regarding willls, probate etc. I was appointed executor to my mums estate & a joint beneficiary with my 2 older brothers. Not only did I have the estate in the UK but an estate in italy to sort through, the latter being deep in Italian red tape and laws like you would not believe (part of which is ongoing).

The processes from Dec 2015 to completion Feb 2017 was the most stressful year of my life. Some of it was made easy with the assistance of of good local solicitors performing probate & completion of the final house sale. The DWP took 8 months to come to decisions, and although painstakingly lengthy & frustrating, I found them actually quite helpful when I made regular calls, in fact they thanked me for my patience and apologised for the time it all took. The bereavement dept at mums banks were spot on and delivered in every way, nothing to complain about there.

There were a few arguments between my bothers and myself, they insisted they were owed everything or something more at different points over that year! Made complaints how long it was all taking etc.

I stuck to my guns, and just did what I had to do, which was A LOT !!! My husband & kids were very patient and understanding, I was and am still grieving.

I guess what I want to say is, it was the worst time of my life and I had no idea what was ahead, but using this site and staying focused I got through it, I have learnt so much in both the UK and Italian laws, by no means an expert, but so much more knowledgeable, I learnt a lot more about people, and what grieve can do to those around you.

I started to resent my brothers for their comments, then again they would offer to help but as the sole executor they couldn't. When everything was complete, I gave them the executor accounts and their share of the estate which remained. That was that.

Both my brothers invited me out last Sunday, so I begrudgingly went, they treated my family to a lovely meal, to thank me for all the work i executed. I was pleasantly surprised. We will never be close, but we can be civil.

I apologise for going on, but I want to say to those finding it hard, difficult and emotionally stressful, stay strong, take some of the great advice you get from guys here, and keep going despite what the outcomes may be.

Finally, I want to shout and cry to mum, " I did this all for you because you trusted me to do it right and I love and miss you everyday "

Thanks to the forum advisors & god bless 😊 (sorry)

newatc

Well done you.

Yorkshireman99

Curlylady wrote: »

Good evening all,
I have used this forum for the past year seeking advice and reading others experiences regarding willls, probate etc. I was appointed executor to my mums estate & a joint beneficiary with my 2 older brothers. Not only did I have the estate in the UK but an estate in italy to sort through, the latter being deep in Italian red tape and laws like you would not believe (part of which is ongoing).

The processes from Dec 2015 to completion Feb 2017 was the most stressful year of my life. Some of it was made easy with the assistance of of good local solicitors performing probate & completion of the final house sale. The DWP took 8 months to come to decisions, and although painstakingly lengthy & frustrating, I found them actually quite helpful when I made regular calls, in fact they thanked me for my patience and apologised for the time it all took. The bereavement dept at mums banks were spot on and delivered in every way, nothing to complain about there.

There were a few arguments between my bothers and myself, they insisted they were owed everything or something more at different points over that year! Made complaints how long it was all taking etc.

I stuck to my guns, and just did what I had to do, which was A LOT !!! My husband & kids were very patient and understanding, I was and am still grieving.

I guess what I want to say is, it was the worst time of my life and I had no idea what was ahead, but using this site and staying focused I got through it, I have learnt so much in both the UK and Italian laws, by no means an expert, but so much more knowledgeable, I learnt a lot more about people, and what grieve can do to those around you.

I started to resent my brothers for their comments, then again they would offer to help but as the sole executor they couldn't. When everything was complete, I gave them the executor accounts and their share of the estate which remained. That was that.

Both my brothers invited me out last Sunday, so I begrudgingly went, they treated my family to a lovely meal, to thank me for all the work i executed. I was pleasantly surprised. We will never be close, but we can be civil.

I apologise for going on, but I want to say to those finding it hard, difficult and emotionally stressful, stay strong, take some of the great advice you get from guys here, and keep going despite what the outcomes may be.

Finally, I want to shout and cry to mum, " I did this all for you because you trusted me to do it right and I love and miss you everyday "

Thanks to the forum advisors & god bless �� (sorry)

It is always nice hear a positive ending like this. Well done you!. It would be particularly interesting to hear any pointers on the Italian part of the estate if you have the time and of course the inclination. TIA.

getmore4less

Well done.

Not easy, one point executors can get help and dish out tasks to others that want to help.

There are often tasks that package up nicely and all the executor does is check the work and sign any paperwork, selling a house is an example someone else ca take on the bulk of the job.