LHG - the next step

EssexHebridean

Hey sorry to hear things have been a bit ick - but glad your birthday was good aside the flat tyre!

My "Black Dog" thing is that when it appears I try taking it for as walk in the sunshine first - sometimes I even come home without it - not something you want to happen with the more welcome sorta pup! Of course that does rely on there actually BEING some sunshine...

lionheartedgirl

Thanks EH. Not much sunshine of late although there have been a couple of nice days amongst all the dreich-ness!

Not much new to report. think I caught the pesky dog before it became an issue, and I'm feeling much brighter. I'm eating and sleeping better and am finally recovering from the seemingly endlessly cycle of lurgy/recover a bit/another lurgy etc. I'm slowly getting back to running again and this is good.

I've also made a bit of an investment in the pitiful wardrobe situation lately and this has helped lift how I feel about myself and life in general. I have no more reason to feel sad when I have to choose things to wear, and I am about to buy a very lovely coat for the winter. And the next few winters - it is a really nice one that I hope will last and have me feeling toasty and glamorous even on the rotten grey days for many years to come.

Money has been a little spendy this month but I made an unscheduled visit to see my gran yesterday as she had a heart attack last weekend. It was fuel money and a long drive I hadn't expected, but I also haven't been for a while. She is in good spirits and back home although some changes will be required. I need to budget to get down there more regularly but that will hopefully mean a bit of shuffling but nothing too heavy duty.

I have some extra musical income over the next couple of months and it's nice to know that it's coming and to be able to see it as a genuine extra rather than it getting swallowed up by debt repayments. Yes I could/should be using it for that, but as we all know well, this game is all about balance and sometimes that needs to shift a little.

EssexHebridean

Sorry to hear your Gran has been poorly but glad that things are feeling a bit brighter for you generally.

You're right about the balance thing - there's no point in killing yourself to throw every spare penny at debt stuff if you then burn out as a result. Compromise and balance is the way forwards with long hauls I think!

lionheartedgirl

I have no idea where the last two months have gone. Absolutely no idea! :rotfl:

I'm just seeing out another lurgy at the moment. It has been a rotten year for those, although massively upping my vitamin levels in September has meant I am shaking things off much more quickly and this is the first one that has actually settled on my chest. I was meant to be doing a race today but cancelled all weekend plans and am home with the pooch instead.

Money stuff feels pretty much under control. Still a lot owing but I'm not worrying and stressing about it as I used to. I don't feel as though I'm under a black cloud of shame and judgment and I really am just counting down now, knowing that it won't be forever.

As I have an empty weekend, I've found myself feeling a bit reflective about the coming year and where i am with all manner of things. It has been a funny old year, there have been huge steps forward in lots of ways while other things have slipped and not gone to plan. I have learnt SO much. I almost can't believe how much.

I don't want to wish away the last of the year as I do believe in making the most of my days, but I'm really looking forward to a new year and a whole new start.

I didn't buy the coat in the end, and I'm glad. I had a fab weekend away in London catching up with some friends and family after many years of not seeing them, plus I paid for some race entries for next year and bought a few other bits of clothes and things.

I hadn't realised how cutting back so much on clothes etc had affected me emotionally, and I'm glad to have balanced that out again.

Since this DF journey began, I had become much more careful but lately it had been a bit too careful and I hadn't really bought anything other than tights, undies, running kit in a long time. We have dress down day every Friday and I realised I'd been wearing the same dress for about 6 weeks I know this isn't a hardship compared to what others are dealing with but oh dear I did feel upset when I noticed.

Christmas/New Year plans are almost non-existent. My social life has dwindled a bit too much so next year's main focus will be on getting that balance right I think.

Hope everyone else is OK and getting ready for some rest and some telly! I'm working (musical stuff) on Christmas Day and 30th and am in work for my day job in between. But it will be nice and quiet and we normally get let off a bit early as none of the bosses are in.

Catch up soon (less than 2 months gap next time I hope!)

RosaBernicia

Good to hear from you LHG - sounds good, you've got a plan even for the bits that need adjusting!

Have a wonderful Christmas and new year


Rosa xx

EssexHebridean

Good to hear from you on here again LHG! Spotted you'd had to cancel your weekend plans but definitely the right decision I think - you're so much better than you were it would have been daft to blow that improvement by doing something you shouldn't!

I totally get what you mean about buying clothes as well - I'm finally in a place where I feel relaxed enough about things (not just the money side, but my shape & size as well) where I feel as though I can let myself buy odds and ends of clothing and I'm almost enjoying the experience now! I'm now in a place where I've bought most of what I *had* to buy and so from here on it's going to me more about buying the stuff that will make me feel great.

lionheartedgirl

And somehow it's February already... I don't even know where January went!

Lots of things have been going on, but I have an unscheduled day at home to catch up with myself which feels really good. My goodness I need it.

My beautiful old lady greyhound died just before the end of the year. It wasn't as sudden as with the boy hound so I had a little more time to prepare and to spend some really good time with her before she went, but it has still been a very unsettling time of change and sadness.

There was also a health scare which was potentially major, but thankfully seems not to have been as first suspected. It will be a while before it's all clear but the panic and terror has subsided and I'm glad about that.

Money-wise things are kind of bad, but in the past/dealt with/under control. I had a big tax bill that I've just paid, and I had to borrow some more money to do that. I knew it was coming, it was a conscious choice to fix other things at the time rather than to put the money aside, and I just hoped things would be better by now, but they weren't. I also decided to buy another instrument which some will think I was mad to do, but I'm afraid that's tough I'll sell two of my others which will cover it.

Life is now very different because of the lack of pets. Home life isn't very homely at all and I do feel rather adrift, but in other ways things are a bit easier logistically. I will be away a lot this year and it means I don't have to worry about anything other than myself. I will get another dog at some point but a break is needed at the moment. I made the mistake of looking at rescue dogs online yesterday, the first time I've cracked so far, and I kind of regret it but kind of don't. I know it's not the right time.

So. money is under control. The light bulb has flashed brightly once again and I know things will be OK. I have lots of second job/musical gigs this year and those will help towards the ultimate goal of financial freedom. The new instrument will help with the goal to get out and about and have a better social life, which was why I decided to buy it.

I entered a film competition and have taken a lot of satisfaction in completing my entry and submitting it on time. I'm not expecting any outcome from the competition itself, but the process was really enjoyable and I'm immensely proud of what I managed to produce on a budget of precisely nothing!

Most importantly it was also a good and very intense form of distraction from the emptiness of the house.

I feel quite optimistic despite all the domestic unsettledness (not that that's a word but hopefully you know what I mean), and while it will take a while for the pet-related sadness to lift, I am excited to see what the year brings.

Moneywise I'm pretty confident that I've planned out for as many eventualities as I can, I've allowed for the things I want to do that will cost money this year, and there's a bit to enjoy left over at the end of each month also. I can't really ask for more than that :-) seeing as how Prince Charming still seems to be stuck up that tree....

RosaBernicia

Sorry for your loss LHG - it is amazing what furries bring to a home, but I do also know how difficult it can be if you need to travel. I'm sure the right one will turn up when the right time arrives. And glad to hear that your health news is not as scary as it could have been.


Rosa xx

EssexHebridean

Massive great hole left behind when we lose the four-legged ones - it still sometimes feels odd not having HRH The Cat about the place - but we took a solid decision not to get another one at the moment because our lifestyle really doesn't fit with having an animal at the moment. I REALLY miss not having a pet - and still really want to get to a place where we can have a dog, but right now, no.

Fingers crossed for the health stuff to continue on an upwards curve, and hurrah for brightly illuminated light bulbs too!