mind tricks to stop emotional spending

reformedEffortMaker_2

Hi

This is probably one of the strangest posts I will ever put up but I am at a loss at the minute

When I first joined MSE in july I had the following debts

Student loan 1376
Virgin Credit Card 1554
Cooperative Credit Card 2553
Cooperative Overdraft 1756
Barclays Overdraft 2700
sister - 500
mum - £7000

Total - £17,439.00

Luckily, through selling my house, all I owe now is just under £1k on my Student Loan.

If I spend carefully, I should have about £30 spare every month after ALL my outgoings. However, I have noticed that I am not being careful.
I think part of the problem is I actually enjoy spending money, doesnt matter whether it's by counting out loads of notes, or standing in a queue to pay on a card, but I think sometimes I use it for comfort/support, but not sure why!...the worst scenario is when I spend on expensive food in Waitrose/Marks and Spencers, even when I am not hungry, and eat it just so 'not to waste the money' then I end up with the double whammy of feeling guilty about eating, and feeling guilty about the spending.

So, my question is, has anyone else ever been in a similar situation (or am I just completely weird!!) and if so, what kind of tricks/habits have they developed to become more disciplined.
I work for an emergency service, and most of my colleagues spend a lot of time outside of work drinking as a way to deal with all the crap we deal with in the day, I would rather not go down that route, but I have managed to spend nearly £2000 in the last 8 weeks on absolutely nothing, and am worried that I might get into debt again soon

Thanks for reading

ZTD

In short:

1/ A spend diary - you'll put stuff back rather than put it in your diary.
2/ Confess your sins on the Moozie: "What have you spent today?" thread.

always_amazed

hey,

don't know how you'd feel about this (it's just a suggestion I guess!) but there must be other things in life you get that 'buzz' from; but you maybe don't recognise them because you don't do them as often as you spend.

you know when someone says 'don't think about a pink elephant', you immediatly think of a pink elephant. So saying to yourself 'Don't spend' maybe won't work (doesn't for me!). Instead I've been trying to fill my time with free and constructive things (like exercise).

Hope this isn't too waffly and is some help,

xxx

tealady

I read in a book about something the author called "tantric shopping". basically you see something you want, you make a note of the cost and what shop it ws in. Then you wait 30 days to see if you still want it. I have tried this (occasionally) and the quickest I got over the "want" was the end of the supermarket aisle.

reformedEffortMaker_2

thanks to you both for posting so quickly.

I'm laughing because I read ZTD's and immediately thought

1) write a diary = I need to go out shopping for a new diary, will start it tomorrow, first day of the week etc, then I thought, why get a paper diary-why not a blackberry, or some other PDA, then I can always update my spending on the move...so now I am trying to justify going out to spend money on something....

How pathetic is that?! haha

postingalwaysposting

reformedEffortMaker wrote: »

thanks to you both for posting so quickly.

I'm laughing because I read ZTD's and immediately thought

1) write a diary = I need to go out shopping for a new diary, will start it tomorrow, first day of the week etc, then I thought, why get a paper diary-why not a blackberry, or some other PDA, then I can always update my spending on the move...so now I am trying to justify going out to spend money on something....

How pathetic is that?! haha

why not free online? http://www.spendingdiary.com/
write it on a scrap piece of paper through the day ~ even a napkin

asp746

i find the obvious thing that works for me is taking a limited amount of money out that way you can 'spend' but its not out of control.

also i begrudge shops as they charge more for things that you can get cheaper on the internet.

now i have no car i used a taxi to asda £10 there & back plus £50 - 60 on shopping:eek:

so last week i decided to go to our local precinct which is a bus ride away it cost nothing cos of my weekly buspass just my dd' fare - i need her to help carry stuff. well I spent under £35 for the 3 of us for a weeks shopping i spent £10 in butchers, £8 in poundland; 5 in veg shop and about £10 in a discount freezer store.

maybe having no car for me is cheaper after all if not a nuiscance.

always_amazed

the other thing you must do is recognise that you do have a stressful job and plan time for yourself.
EDIT(god sounds so cheesy!) :'me time'. (and that doesn't have to involve spending a lot either, just taking the time to chill out).

xxx

reformedEffortMaker_2

postingalwaysposting-that seems like such a cool site!-thanks

PasturesNew

After losing a lot of weight, the way I stop myself buying unnecessary goodies is I remind myself that there isn't a food shortage. That I can buy that item at any future date I want, it will still be there. It's not going away.

That works for me.

And it's nice doing that and walking away from it feeling smug at having resisted.

reformedEffortMaker_2

asp746 / always_amazed...its not that i havent learnt how to shop more wisely, i think, as I have been hanging around around on this thread, that it might just be that I have an addiction to spending.
As a child, everything I owned was at least second hand, my mum was always short of cash and we never had any luxuries. Now I am older, I look at spending as a way of 'indulging' into a better life

Although I realise shopping in Primark is financially better than going into Designer shops, when I go into Primark, i find that I am buying three tops instead of the one which kind of defeats the point-am i making sense?