need support

asp746

i'm on a run of bad luck. i've got no debt as such just a cap one cc with £1k limit that i pay off each mont.

i was left with 2 smalk kids and15k of debt that i've managed to pay off over 7yrs which is no mean feat with 2 kids in nursery then afterschool clubs.

i have got minimal clothes - and live fairly frugally. I am so ashamed of my house - its so bare and unhomely and now kids have both started highschool they bring friends round and take over the living room cos thats where the pc is. they are low maintenace kids, i give them each 2.50 per day for lunch whilst i take butties and cupasoup.

I have got a electrician thru recommendtion at work who hs started the job but failed to turn up on several occasions. I still have no lights downstairs. It turns out he works nights and my house is a foreigner (i suspect). I have paid him 600 and when i get paid in 3wks time i will pay the balance - this is the only way i could afford to get the job done as i would't get a loan for it and am not a good saver. it was an essential job.

In aug my car broke down and scrapped cos it wasn't viable to repair due to cost so i have been using buses that are useless. I could have bought a car had i not got the house rewired but thought that was more important.

While the electrical work has been carried out i put 2 bikes in my front garden and locked them - one i use a lot and brought in every night and i've just noticed the other bike has 'gone' and i'm so upset - it was a good bike but the pedal kept falling off i so i thought no-one would bother stealing it and, it had a combinaion lock on it. It seems to be someones carried it away.

even tho my dd didn't use the bike its really upset me as i've had a car pinched outside my house twice before and worry if is even worth my while bothering to save to get one but, that's our independence and is handy for shopping and i can leave home l8r and get home about 20mins quicker than bus. i buy low value cars so if theyre stolen i don't have to make a claim.

Also, i am looking after an exneigbours kitten - his flat went on fire and he couldn't take it to his temp accommodation but he's left 2 wks now and its demanding to be fed a lot of the time and its me whos paying for it - my cat uses a tin a day but this male 3mth old is not far behind her so i feel miffed about him not contributing and me having to go the shop everyday for 2 tins of whiskas - 1.30. when i see him i will ask if he can find somewhere else for it as its a handful and i'm out all day anyway.

sorry to rant but i just feel like whats the point - the house is a tip aswell as i feel like i can't be bothered. I do cook proper meals tho and do the washing - one of my settees you can't sit on cos theres so much kids junk on it etc.

Broken_hearted

Hugs now its time to start your run of good luck.

lynsayjane

I know it's a pain when things are tough and I've regularly felt like whats the point? But there is only one person who can turn things around hunny. Try concentating on all the good things.
You have two (I presume) great kids and you've amanged to raise them single handed which is no mean feat and you've put a roof over their heads.

Keep your head up and remember things can only get better!

osmonddiva

Big massive hugs to you. Your doing a great job cos you managed to get out of the debt and that says a lot for you WELL DONE on that. So sorry about the bike I can relate to that one. Seems to me you need some hope for the future. Have you signed upto quidco, pigsback etc where you can get free money or vouchers comming in without having to spend anything. You would get some cash coming in that would help with decorating, treats etc.

Karmacat

Sorry to hear you're feeling so rough - think of the house this way, your kids still bring their friends home, they don't have a problem, they don't think its not homely - you've done really well there without even noticing it. Of course you want to give them the best, but it *is* homely to them - and its safe too, you're right to make the electrics a priority. Awful that the other bike got stolen tho - if you get a replacement, maybe you can bring that one into the house too?

Have you heard of freecycle? Check out the website - there must be a group round you if you're in Merseyside. People are literally advertising things that they want to give away, or that they want to have for free - I've taken up offers on jiffy bags to send stuff off that I've sold on amazon, and also when my fridge broke down, I got one free from freecycle (I paid for them to deliver it, but it was about 15% of what I'd pay in a shop for the most basic of fridges).

You've done great in paying off so much of your debt all alone - and you're right, you *do* need some support for this last bit. Do you want to put up a Statement of Affairs - see the "sticky" post at the top for what it means, basically its a list of your outgoings, in quite a lot of detail, you'd be amazed at the suggestions that come up for ways you can save money.

All the best - keep on posting!

Tustastic

What a rotten time you've had - no wonder you need to get it off your chest. Still, you do have two great kids and you got yourself debt free years ago. The only way is up!
About the kitten you are looking after - what kind of pet owner walks away without leaving money for their pet's food? Why not contact the Cinnamon Trust to see if they will look after the kitten till it is reclaimed - they operate all over the UK.
http://www.cinnamon.org.uk/home.html
HTH:)

osmonddiva

Read ur post again. I suffered depression on and off for years. When my house was a tip I would just pick little bits at a time to tidy up so that it wasn't a huge massive job. ie everytime you go to kitchen take one piece of juck from the sofa and chuck it in the bin. Pre warn the kids you gonna do it so they can retreive what they want to save too their rooms. You will start to see a difference and it will inspire you to carry on when u see half a sofa appear. when ur sofa is clear then pick another target such as a drawer or cupboard. Honestly it works.

beanielou

You are actually doing so well even though you dont think so.
You are also doing so well to not have any debt.A big pat on the back for that.
Can u apply for a kitten pack from Whiskas to help with the kitten?
Take care & keep posting.

asp746

thanks for the support, it really helps, i was brought up in care and have no family to talk to, i'm nearly 40 and my oh was so bad to me he was put in prison and the kids don't see any of his family only one niece i take them to her normally once a week but as 've no car i've been stuck as his neice a couple of miles away with 4 young kids so she can't come to me. I just feel isolated.

i sometimes just feel like i can't cope although i paid all that money off its left me emotionally drained. i've lived in this house fo 11 yrs but hardly know anyone - only a quick hello to neighbours, its not the kind of place where they go in each others houses. i just go to work and bring kids up - they have lots of friends tho through school which 'm glad about.

i just feel like i'm working really hard with not much to show for it. I feel sorry for the kids too - i'm dreading christmas not so much for the expense but no-one will knock on my door and i have no-ones door to knock on. But i kno i'm lucky, once the electrics sorted it will free cash up for a cheap little runaround.

thanks for your emails and good luck to everyone who's going thru a tough time i know my problems are insignificant to most people.

xxxx

sophiesmum_2

Hi
just wanted to offer some support. sounds like you are pretty low at the moment with all the things that have gone wrong lately. On the positive side though ~ you have a job. a home and two kids who you are providing everything for. You should be proud of what you have already achieved in paying off the debts, getting away from a bad relationship and keeping a roof over your family:T :T :T . Your kids have a home that they are happy to bring friends back to so don't worry too much.
as for the housework, just do a little at a time or get the kids to help a little. You are not superwoman sometimes you just need a little help to get started;)
Have you thought about joining some kind of club or nightclass so you can get out and meet people. I think you may feel a little better if you had a friend to meet up for coffee or an occasional trip to the cinema etc. It's sad that you have no family of your own to fall back on it must be really isolating to be on your own. At least you are giving your own kids a good family background and the ability to make friends:D
Keep posting, there are lots of lovely people on here to give you support.

Mupeteer

Hi there.

It sounds as if you're having an awful time right now so it's understandable that you feel low and isolated. However, please don't ever feel that you're alone. I'm fairly new to posting on this site but have been lurking for a while and there is always someone to offer support and kind words. I often found that by reading other people's posts I got a real sense of community, of people looking out for each other.

Just try to deal with things a bit at a time. Although I would suggest you blitz the house. You'll be amazed at how much simpler everything will seem when your house isn't cluttered. It just seems to declutter your thinking too.

Anyway, good luck. I hope things start to improve soon.:grouphug: