Divorce

bouicca21

my own particular @rsehole wouldn't move out either, so I went. It's an expensive option unlikely to work for someone with dependent children.

Living separately within the marital home - which means separate rooms, and a completely separate life ( no communal cooking/washing etc ) - will count as evidence for a divorce based on separation. It's likely that she will also be able to think up enough grounds for u reasonable behaviour, but again totally separate lives required.

As for splitting the marital assets (house, debts, pensions, savings) they need to come to an agreement and get it rubber stamped by a court to make it binding.

She should probably get herself over to Wikivorce for advice and support.

Mr_Costcutter

The chap in question sounds exceedingly difficult, and so would it actually be sensible to move forward without the help of a legal professional?

justme111

bouicca21 wrote: »

As for splitting the marital assets (house, debts, pensions, savings) they need to come to an agreement and get it rubber stamped by a court to make it binding.

She should probably get herself over to Wikivorce for advice and support.

So the question was whether anybody knows what exactly solicitor does procedurally to get one to agree/object whatever if one refuses to engage in communication.

justme111

Mr_Costcutter wrote: »

The chap in question sounds exceedingly difficult, and so would it actually be sensible to move forward without the help of a legal professional?

I do not know to be honest. I believe most of what solicitor does dealing with uncooperative party one can do him/herself , was interested in how the process goes. Imagine if she gets solicitor but he does not and he refuses to correspond with her solicitor, what will happen then?
Supose I have thought he may see sense when he realises she is serious. Her switching TV to another channel as a way to show him she means business not a preferred option.

elsien

Don't forget that assets isn't just the house, it's both parties savings, pension etc as well. There may not be a clear case where he has to move out on a court order, and the house may not be safe until the children are 18.
The law is to ensure both people are housed according to need, not necessarily preference, and if that means selling the house and both moving somewhere cheaper that may have to happen. It really depends on individual circumstances - for example why is she presuming the children will stay with her? Do they both work? Any arrangement will also depend on shared care arrangements and how long the children spend with each parent. It's can be quite complicated if both parents are at odds.
As a starting point she may want to get a free half hour solicitors appointment to get an idea of the starting point

ETA - sorry, missed the bit saying she cares for the child with special needs.

justme111

I told her about Wikivorce, women's aid and this forum. I think it is important that she finds info and make decisions herself. It's just that this particular question got me curious.

elsien

The OP hasn't said anything that falls into coercive control, just an unwillingness to accept the marriage is over and a wish to stay in his own house.

justme111

David , I written in one of the posts above that she sleeps in the living room. I have written already that unreasonable behavior already happened and that all friends , family , his work colleagues been witness to that . Else in, I did not write much about coercive control as I did not think it was that relevant to my question of what exactly solicitor does (apart from confirming they both got an advice before the consent order is presented to court). I did not want to go into details as I have not witnessed them and I am not sure myself what would be classed as such. Although as David noticed I described one occasion of confrontation in post 12 as an example that talking to him without it impacting on children could be impossible. I do not think that situation could be misrepresented by her when she described it as it was quite factual description and she would be unlikely to lie about it.

plasticcheese

She needs to have a free half hour with a solicitor. To the best of my knowledge, the options are a) they sit down and negotiate which doesn't sound likely, b) they attend mediation together to try to find a way forwards which also sounds unlikely, or c) the legal route. The matter can't go to court unless they have attended mediation or a mediator signs a document to say that mediation has failed; him refusing to attend a booked meeting would count for that. I really don't see any way she can proceed without a solicitor I'm afraid. A consent order cannot be signed by a judge without the decree nisi at least so she must start divorce proceedings.