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I've Split With My Abusive Ex, How Can I Get My Name Taken Off The Mortgage?
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Lordpontifrite
Posts: 6 Forumite
Hello,
New member here so please go lightly.
I've had a look at this forum and seen similar threads but the ones that come up on google seem to be quite old so I thought a new one might get some up to day advice.
A little history. I bought my first house with my ex partner in 2008. We're weren't married but it seemed more sensible than renting. Over the years the relationship turned toxic. He was a control freak, controlled my finances, controlled my social life, belittled me in public, tried to isolate me from friends and family and played mind games. Over the years my mental health deteriorated and I found it more and more difficult to stay in work.
In May 2014 he decided he wanted to end it as he'd started a new relationship with a 19 year old. We agreed that I would stay on in the house until we figured out what to do. Within a few days he started screaming that I owed him money for bills (which I didn't). After an hour of verbal and physical abuse I decided I had to leave. I was then pushed down the stairs and out the door. I came back to get my clothes the next day which had been dumped in bin liners by the door and found the 19 year old had moved in over night. Anyway, I got myself a flat a few weeks later and came back when they were both out to get the rest of my things.
A few weeks later my ex asked me to meet up with him to sign a document, agreeing that I would sign over the house on the proviso that he could get another mortgage. This was a form provided by our mortgage company. I agreed as I didn't want any money from the house, I just want my name taking off. I heard nothing, then a few months later the house appeared on the market. Then it was taken off and he is still living there.
Now my current situation is that I have just been diagnosed with ADHD. I haven't been in work for the last 2.5 years because I can't focus or concentrate (believe me I've tried). I've obviously always had it but this mess is such a distraction, it seems to exacerbate it. Plus I suffer from anxiety, made worse from the seven years of abuse. I went bankrupt in Jan 2016 to get rid of the debt my ex amassed in my name, and in the hope that the receivers would take the house but they didn't. Instead my ex just bought out the beneficial interest. I have a new partner who I've been with for two years. The idea is we'd like to get married at some point, I'd like to go back to work and we'd like to buy our own little place together. We can't do this until this issue is resolved though.
What can I do? We don't have the money for solicitors with me being out of work. Is domestic abuse enough of a reason for a mortgage company to release you from a mortgage? This has been bothering me for years and there just doesn't seem to be an answer.
Sorry for the long post but wanted to make sure the situation is fully in context.
Any help would be appreciated.
New member here so please go lightly.
I've had a look at this forum and seen similar threads but the ones that come up on google seem to be quite old so I thought a new one might get some up to day advice.
A little history. I bought my first house with my ex partner in 2008. We're weren't married but it seemed more sensible than renting. Over the years the relationship turned toxic. He was a control freak, controlled my finances, controlled my social life, belittled me in public, tried to isolate me from friends and family and played mind games. Over the years my mental health deteriorated and I found it more and more difficult to stay in work.
In May 2014 he decided he wanted to end it as he'd started a new relationship with a 19 year old. We agreed that I would stay on in the house until we figured out what to do. Within a few days he started screaming that I owed him money for bills (which I didn't). After an hour of verbal and physical abuse I decided I had to leave. I was then pushed down the stairs and out the door. I came back to get my clothes the next day which had been dumped in bin liners by the door and found the 19 year old had moved in over night. Anyway, I got myself a flat a few weeks later and came back when they were both out to get the rest of my things.
A few weeks later my ex asked me to meet up with him to sign a document, agreeing that I would sign over the house on the proviso that he could get another mortgage. This was a form provided by our mortgage company. I agreed as I didn't want any money from the house, I just want my name taking off. I heard nothing, then a few months later the house appeared on the market. Then it was taken off and he is still living there.
Now my current situation is that I have just been diagnosed with ADHD. I haven't been in work for the last 2.5 years because I can't focus or concentrate (believe me I've tried). I've obviously always had it but this mess is such a distraction, it seems to exacerbate it. Plus I suffer from anxiety, made worse from the seven years of abuse. I went bankrupt in Jan 2016 to get rid of the debt my ex amassed in my name, and in the hope that the receivers would take the house but they didn't. Instead my ex just bought out the beneficial interest. I have a new partner who I've been with for two years. The idea is we'd like to get married at some point, I'd like to go back to work and we'd like to buy our own little place together. We can't do this until this issue is resolved though.
What can I do? We don't have the money for solicitors with me being out of work. Is domestic abuse enough of a reason for a mortgage company to release you from a mortgage? This has been bothering me for years and there just doesn't seem to be an answer.
Sorry for the long post but wanted to make sure the situation is fully in context.
Any help would be appreciated.
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Comments
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Lordpontifrite wrote: »Is domestic abuse enough of a reason for a mortgage company to release you from a mortgage? This has been bothering me for years and there just doesn't seem to be an answer.
No, otherwise everyone and anyone would claim they'd been the victim of it anytime they were unable or unwilling to keep paying the mortgage and avoid paying back what they owe.0 -
Lordpontifrite wrote: »A few weeks later my ex asked me to meet up with him to sign a document, agreeing that I would sign over the house on the proviso that he could get another mortgage. This was a form provided by our mortgage company. I agreed as I didn't want any money from the house, I just want my name taking off. I heard nothing, then a few months later the house appeared on the market. Then it was taken off and he is still living there.
So he can't get a large enough mortgage on his own, and it won't sell for the amount he's expecting.Is domestic abuse enough of a reason for a mortgage company to release you from a mortgage?
No. There's more to it than "release from the mortgage", though.
You and he jointly own the property, and are jointly liable for the entire debt. The lender will not lend him enough to remortgage in his own name alone. He has tried to sell it, but nobody has bought it. This may be because he's asking too much. He would need your agreement and signature for any sale, as you are a joint owner - as you would need his for any sale you initiated.I went bankrupt in Jan 2016 ... my ex just bought out the beneficial interest
Hmm. You may need to do a bit more digging on that, and investigate the paperwork from the time in more depth. You may already be free of the property.0 -
Thanks for the reply.
I've not lived in this house or set foot in it for nearly three years though. He's now married, earns a good salary, his partner works. His credit rating is probably crap because it's got a financial tie to mine, but the mortgage is paid on time every month according to the credit rating agencies.
I've tried calling the mortgage company a few times over the years but they just say they can't do it. I don't see what benefit it is to them to keep an unemployed bankrupt with mental health issues on a mortgage for a property he doesn't even live in. Just makes no sense.0 -
Thanks I'll have a dig about on that last point.
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Lordpontifrite wrote: »I've tried calling the mortgage company a few times over the years but they just say they can't do it. I don't see what benefit it is to them to keep an unemployed bankrupt with mental health issues on a mortgage for a property he doesn't even live in. Just makes no sense.
Of course it does,
1. The lender currently has 2 people they can chase for the mortgage, why would they drop down to 1 person (however unlikely the second is to pay)
2. Lenders usually require all joint owners to be on the mortgage, so your suggestion would leave you both as joint owners only partner on the mortgage.. why would they?0 -
I think the point here is that I'm actually trying to figure out where I can turn for help. The mortgage release stuff is more me just ranting because this is just so damned frustrating.
As I've pointed out I don't have the money for a solicitor, Legal Aid as far as I'm aware is non existent, and whenever I call CAB it just rings and rings. Where can people in my situation go for help to either force a sale, or find some way to get out of the situation?0 -
Lordpontifrite wrote: »I think the point here is that I'm actually trying to figure out where I can turn for help. The mortgage release stuff is more me just ranting because this is just so damned frustrating.
As I've pointed out I don't have the money for a solicitor, Legal Aid as far as I'm aware is non existent, and whenever I call CAB it just rings and rings. Where can people in my situation go for help to either force a sale, or find some way to get out of the situation?
There is no free way to force a sale. It's expensive
Check regarding your bankruptcy and whether your name is actually still on the mortgage/house0 -
Lordpontifrite wrote: »As I've pointed out I don't have the money for a solicitor, Legal Aid as far as I'm aware is non existent, and whenever I call CAB it just rings and rings. Where can people in my situation go for help to either force a sale, or find some way to get out of the situation?
Have you tried Refuge ?0 -
No I haven't. What do you think they could do? I don't know anything about them.0
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ReadingTim wrote: »Have you tried Refuge ?
Refuge won't help in property disputes, have you looked at the website?"It is prudent when shopping for something important, not to limit yourself to Pound land/Estate Agents"
G_M/ Bowlhead99 RIP0
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