New member and desperate for help

Nargleblast

Well done, vaper, you have taken the first steps on your journey to debt freedom. Don't stress about demanding letters, if you start an official DMP arrangement the letters eventually stop once your creditors are up to speed with the situation. And if any letters do turn up, the folks on the DMP support thread will give you advice on how to handle them. Now post your SOA as soon as you can, people can then advise you on where to cut costs.

sourcrates

vaper wrote: »

So, I've tried and tried to post the SOA but I'm working on an I pad and can't find a wy to post it on here
Will just have to write it down and type it onto here, I'm really struggling with this, already feel like throwing in the towel, I can't do this so don't know how I'll cope with demanding letters etc.
I did at least manage to open an account with lloyds, just got wait now for them to sent the cards etc through the post. Thanks everyone for your help.

Somewhere it will say "format for MSE" click on that and it should load.
Do you have a PC ?

Maybe works better

vaper

Thanks, I tried everything and then googled for instructions but by the time I went back to the form it had cleared itself so I need to start all over again. I'm so stressed I could scream. I have got the lloyds account approved though so it's a start.
No I don't have a PC, My daughter has an old laptop she said is no good, I wanted to take it to see if someone can get it working but she won't tell me the password for it!
Can I ask, will my daughters bank accounts be affected when we do this? They also have coop bank accounts like us, I don't want them to know about this....worried sick I am.

Cherryfudge

I don't have much helpful advice apart from: the support here is really fantastic and people have paid off amazing sums and lived to see daylight at the other side. Do take breaks from the tough stuff from time to time and read some diaries to give you both heart and ideas.

Please keep posting even if you can only tackle a little at a time. We're perfectly used to people talking through feelings as well as money if that's any help.

Lots of good wishes xx

Nargleblast

Shouldn't be, your daughter's banking arrangements are nothing to do with yours. And your daughter doesn't have to know more than you choose to tell her. That goes for anyone, family, friends, neighbours. If anyone queries why you are not going out, having a holiday, buying stuff, just say you're cutting back on spending to tidy up the family finances, or save up for the future, or something like that. Your finances are your personal business.

Nargleblast

One last thing - it is getting late so get to bed and try and get a good night's sleep. You will be better able to deal with things in the morning. You have already achieved one thing today - a new bank account. That's a good start.

vaper

Thank you so much everyone, you have been so kind. I was just about to say am going to try and get some sleep (hope I can).

chevalier

i too am going to bed but will post in the morning. good luck

chevalier

Right sorry that I too had to sleep.

When you are doing your SOA it is also a chance to review all the monthly and annual bills going out of the household. So are you on the cheapest
electricity
gas
broadband
mobile
house insurance
care insurance deals for your family? When was the last time you checked if you were in credit for the electricity and gas? As you are now coming into spring and your usage of these should go down, then any credit on these accounts can come back to pay a chunk of debt off, or to form the start of an emergency fund.

Good luck on working on the SOA.
chev

motivated

Hi Vaper

I too am in debt up to my eyeballs but now am in a position where I am paying it off through a DMP. It's the best thing I've done I can tell you. Only 3 months ago I was saying the same things as you, up all night worrying, arguing with DH, robbing Peter to pay Paul. Well robbing Barclaycard to pay MBNA or visa versa. Living off CCs etc. You name it. Our CC and loans total was £82.590 :eek: nothing to show for it all down to utter stupidity. The brown stuff well and truly hit the fan one day and I plucked up the courage and asked for advice on the DMP support thread, the rest is history the amazing people on there saved us from ourselves.

I completed the SC online debt remedy tool and found the strength to phone them. I was petrified but I shouldn't have worried it was fine. The stress and anxiety lifted almost immediately.

Onto today, we are back to getting on with life. Our creditors have all been absolutely fine about it all too. We have an emergency fund and savings accounts that are growing slowly but surely. We set up a DMP with Stepchange who were absolutely amazing it was up and running within weeks and all my paperwork was done online and they never once questioned how or why we we in the boat we were in.

The overall total doesn't scare me anymore as I know it is going down every month.

Good luck with it all and head over to the DMP support thread January2015 and Sourcrates are wonderful and will steer you in the right direction.
M