Wedding party - bar dilemma!

antilles

Hi everyone

We're getting married in a couple of months and are just organising the final details of the party, which we're having a few days after the wedding (we're not having a sit down meal, just a party, disco, and buffet).

We're wondering whether we should provide free drinks for our guests (we have about 170 people coming), or alternative options are give people drinks tickets (say for a couple of drinks), put some money behind the bar, or have a free bar until a certain time.

I'm reading on the internet that not providing free drinks for guests is bad ettiquette, but at the same time, we're also worried about the unexpected costs - we don't want to end up with a load of absolutely smashed people being sick, and a massive bill at the end of the night.

We've considered the idea of giving out drinks tickets to guests as they arrive, but are not sure whether this could be seen as 'tacky'.

Any opinions? Anyone have any experiences with this? How did you handle it?

Roosh

Buying your own drinks at a wedding is not unusal, and certainly not frowned upon where I come from! If you really want to give your guests something, why not serve serve champagne, or equilavent or even a good white and red wine as they come in?

Emms

I dont think not providing free drinks is bad ettiquette. We didnt provide any drinks for our evening do, just a buffet. We did provide the wine for during the meals though and surprisingly there was quite a few left over.

Most drinks in hotels are approx 3-5 each so if you were thinking along the lines of free bar for a couple of hours, if each person has 2 drinks an hour at £3 each then your looking at at least £2k and thats at the lowest price of a drink. If you gave people vouchers for 2 drinks each then your costs are half of that.

At the end of the day its your wedding and the most important thing is that your happy so its your decision and if your guests moan about buying their own drinks then there not very nice friends after all are they!

Emma

SPANIEL36

i agree with roosh. as far as i can remember all the wedding party's i ever been to, i've always had to pay for drinks and to be honest i've not expected any different. There's only been very few where they've handed out a complimentary drink on arrival. If you want to do a little something then offer them a drink as they enter the room so no-one will be cheating ans sneaking up to a ltable laden with drink and drinking everyone elses!!!

hope the wedding goes well and without a single hitch

SPANIEL36

Emms wrote: »

At the end of the day its your wedding and the most important thing is that your happy so its your decision and if your guests moan about buying their own drinks then there not very nice friends after all are they!

Emma

emms is right, ITS YOUR WEDDING!!! so stop worrying about who's gonna be drinking what and who's gonna be footing the bill....me personally i wouldn't offer a complimentary drink, its more expense at the end of the day

dee_mum_of_3

In the last 2 years ive been to 2 weddings one was done on a budget a lovely day was had by everyone we all payed for our own drinks and ate a beautiful buffet- the second was a posher affair with a sit down meal where we were given bottles of wine and jugs of fresh juice but all other drinks were paidfor by ourselves - i cant imagine anyone thinking it was bad etiquette so i wouldnt even think about it.

PasturesNew

I have been poor as a church mouse my entire life .... and yet if I went to the poshest wedding with 2 millionaires being married I'd not expect free drinks.

A free bar will be abused. You are right. And the resultant drunks will end up spoiling your day with either their antics/mess, or the ensuing arguments with partners/people they upset.

Doozergirl

It's nice to give people aglass of champagne or similar when they arrive, or indeed a couple of drinks vouchers if you feel to do that, but yes a free bar will be abused - people leave drinks, order stuff they don't know if they like, order more expensive drinks than they normally would and drink more too.

At my wedding the guests had kir royales made with cava on arrival, wine on the table, proper champers for the toasts and then another kir royale for the evening guests. ie. Plenty! They paid for the rest themselves.

Red_Cat

I've had to pay for drinks at most of the weddings I went to. A wedding reception I went to last month had a bottle of red and white wine per table with a cash bar. the couple provided the wine themselves, the if anyone wanted anything else after the meal, it was up to us. I thought that was pretty equitable.

Irisheyes648

Its your wedding day, you do what you can afford to do, if you can afford it just provide a glass of buck fizz on arrival OR wine on the table to go with the meal ( one bottle of red and white per six people should be enough) that works out about a glass each. HTH

Emms

Another thing on the people abusing free drinks and getting wasted thing, we got given one of those massive bottles of fizzy stuff on the night and I ended up leaving it on one of tables with a crowd of girls and told them just to drink it. Two of them who are best mates got wasted and ended up falling out and crying all night so people deffo do take advantage of free drink!

Emma