Lasting Power of Attorney help

alex_163163

Hello everyone,


Just looking for some advice on how to approach this situation with my grandma.
Basically, my parents and I are trying to persuade her that setting one up is in her best interests (welfare and financial). However she is being really stubborn and won't do it.
We have tried to explain that it wouldn't come into effect until a doctor certified that she couldn't look after her own affairs anymore, but she refuses to entertain the idea.
It's like she thinks that we want to steal her money! Which of course we don't! We just want to make sure we can provide for her care if she ever needs it. She owns her house and has quite a lot in savings so would not qualify for any state-funded care/ carers etc.
She has always been very aware of her finances, and still is. She knows to the penny pretty much what's in the bank! So she is switched on in that respect. She is in OK health currently, but last year was assessed by the Dementia Unit. She wasn't diagnosed with anything other than short term memory loss no worse than anyone else in their 80s (according to the Dr), but she seems to be getting worse to me.
Talking to her about setting up an LPA is like talking to a brick wall! So I'm hoping someone on here might have some suggestions on how we can get her to see it as a useful thing to do.
Has anyone else faced a similar situation with an elderly family member?


Any advice welcome!

trailingspouse

I wonder if there is someone independent of the family who could speak to her? Doctor maybe? (Although they're busy enough as it is), or someone from Age UK, or a trusted friend, or maybe someone at the bank?

If she's 'got it in her head' that you're after her money, you're unlikely to be able to help her to see sense unaided. Has she made a will? If she has, then she can be safe in the knowledge that the money will go where she wants it to go (assuming there is anything left after care costs etc). You're right that you need to get this sorted while she is still of sound mind.

Mojisola

alex_163163 wrote: »

So I'm hoping someone on here might have some suggestions on how we can get her to see it as a useful thing to do.

Set out the time frame and cost of doing it now compared with the same if someone has to go to the Court of Protection to become her deputy?

Keep_pedalling

It is not actually true that an LPA can only be used when someone loses capacity, it can be used from the moment it is registered.

Have you got yours in place yet? If not see if she would be willing to do hers in conjunction with doing yours, you could even make her one of your attorneys.

You could also tell her that should something happen to her without having LPAs in place then the LA might have to step in to manage her finances.

alex_163163

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

It is not actually true that an LPA can only be used when someone loses capacity, it can be used from the moment it is registered.

Have you got yours in place yet? If not see if she would be willing to do hers in conjunction with doing yours, you could even make her one of your attorneys.

You could also tell her that should something happen to her without having LPAs in place then the LA might have to step in to manage her finances.

No I haven't got mine in place yet. But my parents (both 60 yo) are going to set one up naming me as their attorney, and the plan is to try get my grandma to go along, so she can at least talk to the solicitor about it. Hopefully he can explain it better than us, and make her see it's a good thing.
I live 2 hours away from grandma, and my parents live 5 mins from her, so makes more sense for my mum (her daughter) to act for my grandma.

We have told her that about the LA but it falls on deaf ears. She's the type of person to just stop listening to you/ change the subject repeatedly until you just give up.
She has a will in place and I know she's updated that in fairly recent years, so she doesn't mind thinking about death etc. In fact it's a regular topic with her! But we just can't get this across to her. We have been gradually trying for the last couple of years. But now with us getting more and more concerned time is of the essence.

The idea of outlining the costs of the Court of protection could be good. She is very focussed on money, and hates to be wasteful so that may work. Worth a try!

newatc

Perhaps she would be comforted if the LPA was set up so that it could only be used if she lost mental capacity which would require certification from a health professional (option on form).

pphillips

I would tell grandma that if I wanted to steal from her I would not use an LPA, which leaves a paper trail behind, I would find another way!

Savvy_Sue

The only thing I can suggest is sharing any stories you hear about where it's caused problems NOT having one in place. But if she won't, she won't!

getmore4less

alex_163163 wrote: »

No I haven't got mine in place yet. But my parents (both 60 yo) are going to set one up naming me as their attorney, and the plan is to try get my grandma to go along, so she can at least talk to the solicitor about it. Hopefully he can explain it better than us, and make her see it's a good thing.
I live 2 hours away from grandma, and my parents live 5 mins from her, so makes more sense for my mum (her daughter) to act for my grandma.

We have told her that about the LA but it falls on deaf ears. She's the type of person to just stop listening to you/ change the subject repeatedly until you just give up.
She has a will in place and I know she's updated that in fairly recent years, so she doesn't mind thinking about death etc. In fact it's a regular topic with her! But we just can't get this across to her. We have been gradually trying for the last couple of years. But now with us getting more and more concerned time is of the essence.

The idea of outlining the costs of the Court of protection could be good. She is very focussed on money, and hates to be wasteful so that may work. Worth a try!

using a solicitor to fill in a simple form is incomparable with someone that does not want to waste money.

Mojisola

alex_163163 wrote: »

No I haven't got mine in place yet. But my parents (both 60 yo) are going to set one up naming me as their attorney

It can be a risk if you only name one person as your attorney. You're relying on that one person being fit and able when they are needed.

Keep_pedalling

Mojisola wrote: »

It can be a risk if you only name one person as your attorney. You're relying on that one person being fit and able when they are needed.

Absolutely, we have named each other and our two children as attornies, and it is also nessasary to have them act jointly and severally so that the LPA does not fail if one of the attornies can no longer act.