Wedding party duties

Pollycat

pogofish wrote: »

Wouldn't a Weddings/Special Occasions Forum be a wonderful innovation for MSE!

Dustyblinds wrote: »

There's already one on the For who and where you are. Weddings and special occasions.

I'm pretty sure pogofish knows there already is a Weddings/Special Occasions Forum.

GlasweJen

Our best men did a speech, passed the rings over to the humanist and got drunk and did a round with the guest book poster thing and got people to sign/mark it. One of them signed the register and organised the stag do because his friend runs the place where they wanted to go.

Matron of honour signed the register and organised me a hen do (I hadn't really wanted one), other adult bridesmaid visited a lot and helped with preparations like coming to wine tasting and coming up with ideas for the table centre pieces. My other bridesmaids were all under 16 (my nieces) so they just got a pretty dress and their make up done, the youngest who can talk did a reading.

The ushers wore a kilt and posed in photos.

mgdavid

GlasweJen wrote: »

.........
The ushers wore a kilt and posed in photos.

They took turns wearing the same one?
The mind boggles

firebird082

Some of those roles sound completely over the top! My chief bridesmaid was the only one I had around in the morning to help out with my dress, and she also organised the hen do (with lots of input from me!), the others didn't do much.

Best Man organises the stag do, does a speech and holds the rings until the appropriate moment. Ushers greet everyone on arrival, and make sure they have orders of service and somewhere to sit.

Actually, the most useful people were my assorted friends and brother and sister-in-law, who rounded people up for photos, guestbook etc, and helped us decorate the venue the night before the wedding, and clear it down the morning after!

GlasweJen

mgdavid wrote: »

They took turns wearing the same one?
The mind boggles

You don't want to know, I'm dreading my photos arriving.

GlasweJen

Even as a paraplegic I managed to get dressed (and my dress was fairly big), I don't know why grown, able bodied women have "help" getting into a wedding dress, maybe someone to zip up the back or tie them in but that doesn't take a team of bridesmaids.

Decorating the venue and cleaning up? That's not a job for people you've invited as guests! If you don't want to decorate and clean your own venue then pay someone to do it, don't wrangle your guests to be taking off chair covers and taking down bunting at 2am.

Paying for the stag/hen dos? That's not an individuals responsibility. If people want to attend then they should pay to do so, I've often been asked to chip in towards the brides place at a hen and I've happily done so but I wouldn't have expected my sister to Pan for everyone who attended my hen do!

seven-day-weekend

My husband has been Best Man three times and my son has been an usher.

As an usher, my son had to tell people where to sit and give out orders of service; also asking any general questions that people might ask as theyy came through the door. He also opened the doors after the service to let people out. That was the extent of his activities.

My husband's role on all three occasions as Best Man was to look after the groom - to make sure he did not get too blotto on his stag night, to organise the Groom's wedding outfit and their own and the ushers', (but not necessarily pay for tehm), to make sure the Groom arrived at the wedding venue on time and suitably dressed, to look after the rings, to clam him down and try to keep him from stress and anxiety, and to make a speech at the reception. On one occasion, someone tried to gatecrash the reception, my husband took it upon himself in his role as looking after the groom, to get that sorted.

Best Man is quite a responsibility - I think the Chief Bridesmaid fulfils a similar function for the Bride as the Best Man does for the Groom.

http://www.theweddingcommunity.com/170/Expert-Advice/Article/Duties-of-the-Chief-Bridesmaid-and-Best-Man

ceb1995

The only expectation we have of the best men and bridesmaids are to turn up on the day, they are staying the night before as we offered to pay but would have be fine if they didnt take up that offer. Anything else if they want to do that's great, but if not then that's fine with us

Pollycat

Hmmmm.
'Wedding party duties'.
Let's see. :think:

I went with my sister to choose here​ dress.
The dress was stored at my house & that's where the fittings were.
I had her dress hung up in my bathroom with the shower running for days & days to get the creases out.
It didn't work & I ended up ironing it - the most stressful ​thing I've ever done.

I paid for her wedding dress, veil, head-dress & shoes.

I (and OH) did almost all the evening-do buffet, I planned purchase of the food & organised the family who were helping with the buffet.
I stayed behind after the buffet to clear the left-over food away.

I did this not because I was 'matron of honour' but because I love her.

Does any of this really matter?

OP - are you writing a new 'wedding etiquette' book?

Spendless

I was my sister's chief bridesmaid 20 years ago. The only duties I had were to hold her bouquet during the ceremony and once she was stood at the alter straighten her train. As I couldn't straighten her train whilst holding 2 bouquets (hers and mine) I gave one each to the other 2 bridesmaids to hold whilst I did it and then took them back. Nothing else was involved.