Don't we just love the drama!

thorsoak

Just make sure you change the locks.

leespot

The issue with the son is one thing, but the ex is something else entirely. There will never be a point where it is acceptable for someone to be in a persons home when they do not want them in it, even if you had invited them in you are perfectly entitled to insist that they leave at your request. You did extremely well under the circumstances.

Solicitors would cost money and probably give them the satisfaction of knowing that. You could have a chat with the police and see what their advice would be?

NBLondon

This is your partner's son, right? So, technically, he (partner) still has some responsibility until the son reaches 18. Which means he needs to be dealing with it. Who gave the lad a key? If he still has it - change the locks. As described, both the lad and the ex have assaulted you - so the message needs to be sent that this will not happen again or some people with high-vis jackets and handcuffs will be consulted.

Red-Squirrel_2

leespot wrote: »

The issue with the son is one thing, but the ex is something else entirely. There will never be a point where it is acceptable for someone to be in a persons home when they do not want them in it, even if you had invited them in you are perfectly entitled to insist that they leave at your request. You did extremely well under the circumstances.

The thing is, if it was the son who let his mum in, to help him pack and move out things from the room that he'd been staying in while he lived with his dad, is that so terrible? Should the son really have had to check with his dad's partner?

leespot

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

The thing is, if it was the son who let his mum in, to help him pack and move out things from the room that he'd been staying in while he lived with his dad, is that so terrible? Should the son really have had to check with his dad's partner?

It is pretty clear that the son's mother was there out of nastiness and not to be helpful - why take another two uninvited family members with her?

Of course he should have run it past both his Dad and his Dad's partner out of respect - it is their home, not his. Even more so if he knew there was the possibility of any trouble.

Flick216

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

The thing is, if it was the son who let his mum in, to help him pack and move out things from the room that he'd been staying in while he lived with his dad, is that so terrible? Should the son really have had to check with his dad's partner?

Actually yes - it's not the son's decision. The OP did state that the ex was specifically told she was not welcome. (I guess that's a separate issue though!)

He is 17 - can he not pack for himself? If he has been living off them he should at least respect their rules.

If I am honest though - it sounds as if the poor boy is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Having parents at such odds with each other is not a healthy way to grow up. Little wonder he is screwed up!

Spendless

Helentiful wrote: »

He should but his mother allowed him to leave without a job or anything. We tried to help get a job/apprenticeship and even contacted the job centre to get adice. Although it's illegal they couldn't force him to do anything. He's just work shy I guess

You seem to be blaming his Mum in this, why? I've got a 17yo son. If he decided to just leave his college course, I could reason, argue, plead and punish but I couldn't physically stop him doing it.

And whilst it may be a legal requirement to be in training or education, I believe it isn't illegal - if that makes sense ie there is no criminal penalty for not complying. I don't even know how much it is enforced or followed up.

silvercar

All very sad. Is it right that his dad puts conditions on the son being at his home? Dad should be opening the door to his son and working with him to further his education or training. Son is only 17.

leespot

silvercar wrote: »

All very sad. Is it right that his dad puts conditions on the son being at his home? Dad should be opening the door to his son and working with him to further his education or training. Son is only 17.

Agreed - but there is no obligation for the ex to be involved at all. Any contact with her can be done by phone / messaging - she doesn't need to be in the house.

Flick216

silvercar wrote: »

All very sad. Is it right that his dad puts conditions on the son being at his home? Dad should be opening the door to his son and working with him to further his education or training. Son is only 17.

leespot wrote: »

Agreed - but there is no obligation for the ex to be involved at all. Any contact with her can be done by phone / messaging - she doesn't need to be in the house.

It;s not sad at all! The son seems to think he can just bum around - 17 or not - that's not acceptable.