Changing will of a person with dementia

DesperateScousewife

My brother and I have power of attorney for my mother who is 86 and has Vascular Dementia.
Her Psychiatrists secretary rang me last week and told me the Dr had received a letter from a solicitor with a letter attached from my mother giving her permission for the Dr to assess her to sign her will.

My mother and father (died 2015) made mirror image wills in 1999.
My solicitor has told me that the will cannot be changed unless my mother wasn't of sound mind when she made it or there is a mistake on it, which there isn't.

Brothers miffed because their house goes to me, any cash left is divided between us. I have looked after mum and dad all my life. He moved away over 30 odd years ago and would only visit once, maybe twice at year at most. Mum has never been business minded and myself and the family doubt she has mentioned changing her will.

Any advice please? TIA

Keep_pedalling

If she is she has the mental capacity to do so then she will be able to change her will, but if her doctor assesses her otherwise she won't be able to do it, or if she does the new will would be easily challenged.

Sounds like your brother is clutching at straws.

DesperateScousewife

She does have periods where she seems to know things, or can recall past events. Other times she hasn't got a clue about things.
She keeps saying her sisters haven't called her. One does visit, the other died years ago.
Shes 5 and a half stone and survives on Ensures. But she's convinced she eats. She also says she showers every night before bed. It's a fight to get her into the shower once a month!
I really do think brothers taking advantage of the situation. I've just discovered that when he visits....but more regular since dad died... he hasn't been giving her her medication or filling in the food/fluid charts. I really think there's a safeguard issue here.

leespot

Surely your mother is at the point where she needs better care? Why would family be expected to give medication?

DesperateScousewife

Mum has carers going in three times a day to give her the Ensures and her medication. I've just found out when my brother comes down and he cancels the carers he isn't giving her her medication. For whatever reason the care agency hasn't been notifying me.
I am her main carer and next of kin.

troubleinparadise

Why is your brother overriding the arrangements for your mother's care by cancelling carers and not giving her medication? Is this because he thinks she doesn't need them, or is trying to save money, or wishes your mother harm? Whichever, that sounds neglectful and controlling of a vulnerable person.

Given your mother's advancing dementia, she may well need residential care, unless one of you two children are able to provide her with care.

And in that instance, her house will probably need to be sold to fund her care. It then won't exist when her will is executed, and the residuary will be shared between the two of you. So neither of you will be "better off" than the other.

Do you have LPAs for finance, and health and welfare?

Do you think your brother is trying to get your mother to change her will?

troubleinparadise

leespot wrote: »

Surely your mother is at the point where she needs better care? Why would family be expected to give medication?

In the care in the home situation with dementia, it is quite normal for family or carers to oversee medication - or care homes would be packed to the rafters if that was the criteria for moving to greater care.

A person with dementia can be unable to manage medications, but still have capacity. It isn't a clear cut situation.

chesky

How often do you visit your mother? I don't understand why the carers are taking orders from your brother. Has it anything to do with the Power of Attorney?

Sea_Shell

troubleinparadise wrote: »

Given your mother's advancing dementia, she may well need residential care, unless one of you two children are able to provide her with care.

And in that instance, her house will probably need to be sold to fund her care. It then won't exist when her will is executed, and the residuary will be shared between the two of you. So neither of you will be "better off" than the other.

This can and does happen!! (My bold)

GDB2222

troubleinparadise wrote: »

In the care in the home situation with dementia, it is quite normal for family or carers to oversee medication - or care homes would be packed to the rafters if that was the criteria for moving to greater care.

A person with dementia can be unable to manage medications, but still have capacity. It isn't a clear cut situation.

I found it a surprise how lax the criteria are for mental capacity to make a will. The ability to understand the main terms and to hold those terms in mind for a few minutes is all that's required.

Unfortunately, the reasoning behind the original will may have been forgotten, due to dementia, but the lady may still have capacity to make a new one.

DesperateScousewife

Mum is happy in her own home and despite dementia she is safety conscious.. I visit her mon to Saturday. My last visit is Saturday morning then I have a day off on Sunday knowing she is safe as the carers go in three times a day. You hear the horrors of care homes and whilst I feel there is no danger to her I will continue to support her in her own home with help from carers.

Before my dad died 17 months ago my brother would only visit once or twice a year at most.
There's a lot more to this but main facts are briefly outlined. Since dads death he promised to come to see mum monthly. Which has stretched to every 6/7 weeks with the longest gap being first week of November till Last week of January. He hasn't contacted me since then. I've tried calling him. He's been up here three times without my knowledge and this is when care been cancelled. Before November I've also cancelled the care when he's been coming up thinking mum is safe with him, getting medication etc.

I've called care agency and it's now in place that only I can cancel care as I'm main carer. They will contact me if he calls to contact. I'm making sure carers still go in as normal.

I am seeking a solicitor about this. But any advice would be really helpful.

The family think he's only interested in money. Which I agree with.