Help!! When do i have to give him money??

Jobo321

Hi me and my hubby split 6months ago. As he was cheating, he has gone to live with his woman. We don't have kid's. He has not give me any money for the mortgage since he went.
He is asking me to sell up or give him some money. I have told him I don't need to give him anything until we are legally separated or divorced??! IS THIS TRUE??? :😀😀

Tigsteroonie

He can make demands of you, but you are quite correct, he has no right to any money or to force the sale of the house until you go through the Financial Proceedings as part of divorce (i.e. not even the Divorce petition, it's a separate and subsequent legal process)

When you say 6 months ago, how close to 6 months? You can only divorce on the grounds of adultery within six months of finding out - after that time, you're deemed to have accepted it, and have to divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour instead.

It's going to be in your interests to resolve this as quickly as possible, he's not coming back to you; but as it stands just now, he's still your husband and if you die with no children and no will, he'll stand to inherit. He could also try to take some of any lottery wins you may have.

I recommend the Wikivorce website and forum for more info.

Jobo321

Hi October when he went. He is asking to come back at the minute!!!! And I said NO, so he said he needs the money to get away from his GF!!! How cheeky is that.
Thanks for advice

unforeseen

Well, as presumably he is a joint owner of the house then he is free to move back in at any time he wishes to and you can't really stop him unless you want to lie through your back teeth and claim DV.

paddy's_mum

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

You can only divorce on the grounds of adultery within six months of finding out - after that time, you're deemed to have accepted it

I'm happy to stand corrected but I have a feeling that the six month rule applies only if you continue to cohabit, the courts no doubt feeling that the marriage has not in fact ended despite the matrimonial crime.

In the OP's case, the adultery caused the breakdown of the marriage so they spouses separated - I believe that it remains 'live' as it were for as long as it takes to decide to divorce.

Dizzy_Ditzy

I don't have any magic answers for you but I'll delete your duplicate post for you to make it easier for you to keep track of replies

TBagpuss

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I'm happy to stand corrected but I have a feeling that the six month rule applies only if you continue to cohabit, the courts no doubt feeling that the marriage has not in fact ended despite the matrimonial crime.

In the OP's case, the adultery caused the breakdown of the marriage so they spouses separated - I believe that it remains 'live' as it were for as long as it takes to decide to divorce.

This is correct. The issue is one of continuing to live as spouses after learning of the adultery.

That said, it's rarely appropriate to petition on adultery unless he is willing to cooperate, as without that the level of proof needed is very high, and it is generally much simpler to petition on unreasonable behaviour, with the behaviour being that he has formed an improper relationship with another woman.

In terms of the financial situation, he is entitled to a fair share of the matrimonial assets. He will be able to start divorce proceedings and then issue an application through the court for a financial settlement, and it is likely to be much cheaper if you can negotiate an agreement with him, rather than fighting through the courts.

I'd suggest that you go to see a solicitor to get some initial advice about what he is likely to be entitled to, and that you also start to make enquiries about your own mortgage capacity so you start to get a feel for whether you are likely to be able to remortgage to get his name off the mortgage.

Be aware that the reason for the marriage ending will not, normally, make any difference to the finances, so the fact that he had an affair, and left, don't either of them affect what he will be entitled to.

hazyjo

How long were you together and how long have you lived together in total

Is the house jointly/equally owned, and on what basis? Did you both come to the marriage with equal assets?

As above - forget 'adultery', just say 'unreasonable behaviour'.

Jx

Jobo321

We have been together 23 years in total, married 11. He is not on the mortgage.��

thorsoak

Jobo321 wrote: »

We have been together 23 years in total, married 11. He is not on the mortgage.��

Is he named on the deeds?

Malthusian

The OP implied he was paying towards the mortgage before he left so he may have a beneficial interest whether or not he is on the deeds.

In the OP's shoes I would still tell him to sod off and exercise my own right to change the locks if necessary.