new to all of this.. lots of questions.

Yorkshireman99

GDB2222 wrote: »

Probate fees sky-rocket at end of April. If Uncle can get the papers in before that, it will save a small fortune.

Not unless the estate is of high value. A few hundred pounds is hardly a small fortune.

TBagpuss

You don't have to tell the DWP yet, as you don't yet know what you will receive. Once you know, and receive the money, you'll have to declare it. If it does turn out to be enough to allow you to a buy a flat or house to live in, the value of your home is disregarded for the purpose of claiming benefits, so once you buy a property you may well be able to start a new claim.

It would not be unreasonable to ask your uncle, if you would like to be able to go into the house, to let you do so, to collect any personal items or things of sentimental value.
If you are the main beneficiary it was also be reasonable (although not compulsory) for your uncle to keep you in the loop about what's happening.

Once probate has been granted you can apply for a copy of the will so you know what, specifically, it says.

In relation to the ex this should not be a massive issue - things such as credit records attach to people, not addresses.
There may be problems if at any time your mum signed anything for him, for instance if she signed for any joint account, or as a guarantor, as that might mean that she (and now her estate) have liability for debt, but that will be for your uncle to sort out.

In the short term you / he may want consider letting trading standards know the situation.

If by 'using the address' you mean you think he has registered companies there, you can report that to Companies House (https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/reporting-fraud-about-a-company-to-companies-house/reporting-fraud-to-companies-house)

faerielight

thanks for all the helpful replies, I meant to put it was remortgaged £500,00 half a million. I was estranged as I was sexually abused by my other and her (and my uncle's ) male cousin, who was a known !!!!!phile, and she encouraged it. I cut contact with her in 2002, and I got a letter back from her telling me that the abuse from him was a "good lesson in learning how to grow up and deal with men". They know about the abuse from her cousin but not from my mum, and I see no point in telling them, I respect that they are grieving a very different version to me. I have asked if there's anything I can do to help him, I sent the family flowers and a card saying thanks for nursing her at the end, and that she had a great brother who looked out for her, and I've thanked him for everything he is doing. I honestly don't think it is very healable, although I would like it to be. He saw her as a victim, and me as the evil one, the dynamics are very old and ingrained. It's the funeral tomorrow, I'm not intending to rock the boat, I will be nice to them.

I got a very brief letter from the solicitor today saying that he has been appointed to do most of the work, and that he knew my uncle had told me I was the beneficiary, but that was it. Thanks for the link to report the ex, I will do that and also tell trading standards. I wasn't sure whether to tell the council. I have been emailing so many of the websites he is advertising on with her address, 22 so far and loads to go.

As far as I know, 12 years ago, he was bankrupt with no bank account so he latched on to my mum and she set up a joint account. He managed to get £450,000 off her , she was engaged and had taken me out of the will and put him in it, but my uncle saw her as exploited and vulnerable, so he got him off the will and away from her account. Hovever, she let him back in., and concealed it from everyone, including my uncle. He told me he threatened the police if he ever found out he was back. He only found out 3 years ago when she was in hospital after a stroke, and when he went to the house, the man was in her bed, hiding under the covers. He said it's been a 3 year battle to get him out and away from her, but that the man has been threatening to send his "men" to harm her, so the police were alerted. .. It's all been a big mess and awful, I see my uncle as a victim of her too, although he adored her, she gave him a lot of stress.
The other problem is she had a flat in Spain, my uncle was telling her to do repairs and sell 10 years ago, as the area is now a ghost town, with crime, but she buried her head in the sand and 2 years ago, got him to deal with it, and he said he is still ploughing money into it. It's not clear whether she "gave " it to him, or just got him to sort it out, I must find out from him at some point.

I haven't asked him any questions at all regarding my inheritance/money/logistics, as I respect he is a grieving man. All I know is what he told me, that my mother didn't want me to have anything, she wanted Michael to have it all, but that my uncle refused to let that happen, so if there is anything left, I'm grateful to him. TBH though, I really don't think there will be much left.. there are debts to pay such as a 24 hour live in carer. I just feel very out of the loop, I understand why, but it is hard for me, as I am going through a lot too. I have to come to terms with the fact that she had 9 months to make amends, but she chose not to, and she took away the chance to communicate with her before she died, and I'm grieving the mother I never had and never will, it's excruciating, but I don't expect the family to understand what I've been through and are going through, they could never understand, they got the sanitised version of her, the veneer of normality. What I needed was for her to make amends , but that's over now, what I need is a roof over my head, some security, especially as I am so seriously physically ill and mentally, but I'm realistic that it may not happen. Not being at all in the loop is adding to my anxiety though and making it all feel even more out of control.

Keep_pedalling

It sounds like the estate is horribly complex, so could take a good while to sort out. I know it is hard but I would try to forget about any inheritance until it is sorted, which could easily take a year or more especially with a Spanish property involved. Under the circumstances I think it is your best interests that the estTe is being handled by a solicitor.

Sounds like that £500k is long gone, but unfortunately if it was given away in the last 7 years it could still lumber the estate with a hefty tax bill.

SevenOfNine

faerilight - I think you lost your mother some years ago, maybe what you mourn now is the chance to reconcile......but with the person you wish she had been, not what she was or ever would have been. I'm sorry for that.

Sounds like you've tried to hold out an olive branch to the family, that's all you can do. Do you think in his own way, uncle has tried to protect your interests? He does sound like he didn't only prevent this man from getting everything in favour of himself as brother, he protected what he could for you. Maybe his own way of holding out a bit of an olive branch to you, perhaps an acceptance deep down that he knew you weren't entirely to blame, knowledge that he did always get the sanitised version?

TBH I think this estate is going to take so long to sort out, easily a year or more, best you sit back & continue your life as it is, don't involve yourself in the mess of sorting it, view anything that eventually comes your way not as a gift from your late mother, but a gift from your uncle who managed to protect it for you.

Ask if they'd mind keeping you informed & reinforce the offer of help, explain that though things are difficult you'd like to keep in touch on a personal level (if that's what you'd like of course, whatever is best for you). Then step back.

faerielight

Thank you .. you're right, I lost her a very long time ago.my grief is that she chose not to make amends or tell me she was dying of lung cancer, and that really hurts, and I will have to fave that there will never be that apology,plus all the trauma she caused me has limited my life so much , it has come at great cost, and I still feel like a wounded child, waiting for a nice mum to come along and make everything ok, but she never did.

I am grateful to my uncle for getting Michel away from his hands on the property, but I think you're right, in that he did do it for me.My saving grace was probably as he hated michael so much, but maybe he is trying to communicate to me that I wasn't all to blame. I hope so, I would love it if things could heal a bit between us,but along with the inheritance, I'm not expecting it.

Brighty

faerielight wrote: »

I am grateful to my uncle for getting Michel away from his hands on the property

Sounds like he pretty much did get his hands on it though, if he pocketed the £500k remortgage money. I obviously don't know what the house is worth, but is there likely to be much left once mortgage is paid, solicitors fees etc?

faerielight

that's what I need to find out, I haven't even seen the will. I'm going to call the solicitor tomorrow for the 1st time. My uncle is still playing powder games, at the funeral said that if I want the keys to the house, I have to go to the scattering of the ashes, but I want to try and bypass him.. Is thee anything I need to say to the solicitor tomorrow appart from asking for a copy of the will? The con man turned up at the funeral and said that he is contesting the will as he has "proof" that he leant my mother a lot of money. It's all lies, he was bankrupt without a bank accoun t when he met her.but I'm stressed about him as he is a very clever criminal Him and my uncle the executor are problems that I could do without. The con man has def cleared the house out of valuables as my cousin gave me a few rings of hers, saying that was all they could find.. they know and so do I that she had a whole safe of jewels

Tuesday_Tenor

As relations with the Executor are strained, it's not unreasonable to contact the solicitor to
(A) make sure he/she has your up-to-date contact details
and
(B) ask for a copy of the will
and
(C) check that the uncle is talking poppycock to make attending the scattering of the ashes a new condition of inheriting. I can't believe that's in the will. But you should check, just in case she did put things in the will to try to bring you back 'into the fold' of the family.

But you are not the solicitor's client, so they are not obliged to tell you anything, and they may tell you to contact the executor.q

After that, I think you should back off. Refrain from trying to interfere, pretending you 'know' things like your mother had a safe full of jewellery and that she didn't have debts. You've been estranged. How long for? How do you know how your mother conducted her affairs in the last years or months of her life? She may have given lots of things away. She may have taken out a further mortgage on the property to fund a joint venture with the ex. You don't know.

It would be reasonable to contact executor/solicitor to ask for a progress update every six months. Any more than that and you'd be harassing him. It's not your job to sort out any of it. Relax, let the executor deal with it all while you get on with your life for the next year or so. Who knows what will happen .... Despite being estranged, you MIGHT be due to receive a sizeable inheritance from your mother. Be thankful; since the estrangement she could have chosen to write a will excluding you completely. On the other hand, between debts and mortgages, there may be no estate left to inherit.

The facts of the matter have yet to be established. The facts will be whatever they are, and you will have a clearer idea of the value of the estate once probate is granted and the estimated value of the estate is reported. No amount of hassle or pressure from you is going to change anything. So back off.

faerielight

Excuse me, Tuesday Tenor, I am, not, nor intending to "harass " anyone.One phone call to the solicitor is not my idea or "harassment" using words like "hassle and pressure" are the opposite of my actions.and telling me to "back off" is OTT.

I called the solicitor, he was really understanding, told he he knew that I had a history of abuse from my family, and that he understood that things were fraught with my uncle, and that it was appropriate for me to contact him myself.

He has sent me a copy of the will, there is no mention of any "wishes" for me to attend the scattering of the ashes. He will keep me posted of any major progress and that after Easter, I can view the house via the solicitor without my uncle present. I had no intention of mentioning the jewelry, as I don't know the circumstances. What I do know though is that she was living with a known criminal professional con man and his intentions all along were not honorable, and the reason my cousin gave me the jewelry was because they were concerned the con man would be trying to clear it out of any valuables.

As usual on this site, I am asking for advice, as I know nothing about inheritance law or process, I do not need judgement, especially at this very difficult time. People go through very complex grief when they lose an abusive parent, on top of a lifetime of suffering. I don't appreciate being painted in such a negative light..