Mind Games-What's The Point?

20aday

Good morning fellow MSEs.

Just out of interest... what EXACTLY is the point of mind games?

I only ask as there's someone I was interested in but they weren't interested back, which is fair enough.

Somethings aren't meant to be etc.

However despite laying my cards on the table said person continues to play mind games; one moment they recognise my existence and then other times I'm a complete and utter stranger to them.

I wouldn't mind but something happened to me a long time ago, so for me to actually trust someone enough and 'wear my heart on my sleeve' takes a lot.

So, back to my original question, what is the point of mind games and how do I deal with this person?

Luckily my contact with this person is limited but I will see them (we work in the same building)-do I just ignore them back?

Thank you :beer:

Pop_Up_Pirate

No point, Move on and forget about that person.

Pollycat

There is no point with mind games.

I can't be doing with people who make a fuss of you one day then deliberately ignore you the next.

If that happens with me (it hasn't for years), I give them a couple of chances then blank them.

If you work together, I'd be polite - just saying 'Good Morning', 'Bye' - but if you don't have any professional contact with them, I'd just ignore them.

Sjc1973

Someone who plays mind games is insecure. Like you they probably had something happen to them that makes them have trust issues. However, think of your self respect here - they are not treating you right and you don't have to accept this. Move on keep things polite with them etc. A word of warning if you do the latter being a insecure person they will notice this and won't like that your not chasing them and will try to play more mind games. IGNORE THEM- you deserve better and remember we too can control how we let people treat us.

I would like to add though, I am not in a position to see both sides? Are you sure he is playing mind games. He might be a bit hot and cold as you did tell him how you feel. It might be Arkward for him as to how to react,. I have been in your position but I have also been in theirs too. Regardless my advice is the same move on keep things polite, you will find someone who will reciprocate the same feelings - good luck:)

gettingtheresometime

To keep you dangling on a string .......it's an ego thing.

(Don't know if you watch Holby City but there's a similar story line being played out on that programme as well)

justme111

"Mind games" is the definition people give to behaviour of others who they are emotionally invested in which they find no explanation to and which upsets them. Most of it is about perception. Usually ones called to be playing mind games follow their own agenda which has nothing to do with people who perceive their behaviour as "mind games".

20aday

Thank you to everyone for your input so far, it's much appreciated.

Luckily we don't have to work together so apart from saying 'hello' and 'goodbye' politely anything work related seldom happens.

Can appreciate it's awkward for the other person (and I've been the other person too, though not as often) but since they said they weren't interested most of the time I've been focusing on other things that are taking greater priority in my life at the moment.

I wish I was imagining it; it'd be easier to deal with then.... but to continue to make out you're interested (and this person has done that, it's certainly not wishful thinking). Hmmm.

It takes a lot for me to let my guard down. That's because I was raped when I was 18, that's why. So to let down my barriers to anyone (especially another man) isn't something that's easy for me to do.

Pollycat

Maybe this person is feeling embarrassed and/or awkward and speaks when caught unawares but when they see you in advance they can pretend they don't know you.
I'd be polite but distant.
I'm sure you'll both soon have forgotten all about it.

20aday

Thank you.

Luckily for me there's a chance to start training for a management course at work coming up so that's going to be my focus from now on.

[Deleted User]

The point is that they like manipulating and controlling other people.

System

Speak if your spoken to, otherwise dont say anything.