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I Stand Quietly....

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  • Just noticed that there's a lot of traffic to "I Stand Quietly" from this site and thought I would pop by and say hi.

    Thoughts from my experiences over the last two years since writing the poem and having the privilege to meet and spend time with many autistic people across a range of talents and abilities...

    - no two autistic people are the same, albeit they have some similar traits... as do humans :)

    - no autistic person wants to be cured and fundamentally no autistic person is unhappy provided they are respected and their needs considered... like all humans :)

    - us "neurotypicals" happen to have a brain type that is the majority but not better or worse, minorities should all be respected for who they are, no need to try and change them but an absolute imperative to try to accommodate and protect them, listening and believing goes a long way

    - most autistic people would subscribe to the social model of disability... e.g. they only have a problem with the way things are set up, not with themselves; no different to how wheelchair users only have a problem if we only put steps everywhere.

    - and the one thing I have learned is that toooo many parents bleat on about their autistic kids rather than going out of their way to support and add volume to their kids' own words... even non-verbal autistics have plenty to say given the right tools and time...

    the poem was not meant to evoke sadness or a need to change autistic people xxx

    so I would ask you to focus on my lovely wonderful daughter's words, not mine - she rocks - neither of us are unhappy or need changing or curing, just respect and support...

    I can't post links but if you go back to the original poster's link and then read "Too Much Information" - that's my gal :)
  • - us "neurotypicals" happen to have a brain type that is the majority but not better or worse

    I would think that depends on the extent of the autism.
    It is not because things are difficult that we dare not venture
    It is because we dare not venture that they are difficult


    SENECA
  • seven-day-weekend
    seven-day-weekend Posts: 36,755 Forumite
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    edited 19 March 2017 at 1:43PM
    I would think that depends on the extent of the autism.

    Absolutely agree. Depending where you are on the spectrum it can be a quirky, individualistic difference or a huge, life-limiting handicap.

    I agree with the author (welcome!) that we must accept and work with the differences rather than trying to change them.
    (AKA HRH_MUngo)
    Member #10 of £2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
  • happyandcontented
    happyandcontented Posts: 2,768 Forumite
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    edited 19 March 2017 at 2:17PM
    I agree, it is very easy to believe that your own experiences of dealing with a child/person with ASD are the norm. You may be dealing with someone at F on the spectrum and others may be at A, J or X to use a simplistic alphabticised example of designation. It can be a series of quirky, often amusing, traits or it can be the "umbrella element" of a range of serious mental and physical "conditions" which require round the clock care.

    I also think it is wrong to say "no autistic person wants.....it is a generalisation and we can't know if it is universally true.
  • kingfisherblue
    kingfisherblue Posts: 9,203 Forumite
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    - no two autistic people are the same, albeit they have some similar traits... as do humans :)

    - no autistic person wants to be cured and fundamentally no autistic person is unhappy provided they are respected and their needs considered... like all humans :)

    Autistic people are human!

    Also, there are some autistic people who want to be cured and who are unhappy even when respected. My son has suffered deep depression for several years, making him very unhappy at times. According to https://www.autism.co.uk up to 40% of people with autism have an anxiety disorder at any time, compared to 15% of the general population, often leading to sadness or depression.

    http://www.autism.org.uk/about/health/mental-health.aspx

    Your poem is very good, but you cannot make blanket statements about people who happen to share the same condition. I know several people with autism and depression and/or anxiety are common. I also know that a number of them have often said that they wish they were 'normal' and not autistic.
  • Autistic people are human!

    Also, there are some autistic people who want to be cured and who are unhappy even when respected. My son has suffered deep depression for several years, making him very unhappy at times. According to https://www.autism.co.uk up to 40% of people with autism have an anxiety disorder at any time, compared to 15% of the general population, often leading to sadness or depression.

    http://www.autism.org.uk/about/health/mental-health.aspx

    Your poem is very good, but you cannot make blanket statements about people who happen to share the same condition. I know several people with autism and depression and/or anxiety are common. I also know that a number of them have often said that they wish they were 'normal' and not autistic.
    My son suffers from anxiety and has suffered from depression and I know one autistic girl who gets very angry about her condition and cries about it.
    (AKA HRH_MUngo)
    Member #10 of £2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
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