Daughter sleeping in my bed

cookiecrumbs

Hi

I have two children - one is 3 and a half, the other is 1. The one year old sleeps well (at the moment) and doesn't wake up very often in the night.

The eldest is a different story - she was a good sleeper as a baby but went through a period of waking every night at about 18 months then seemed to settle down.

Now I would say she wakes up at least 2 or 3 times a week. This isn't usually a problem as she is fairly easily settled and will then go back to sleep fine so I am usually only up for about 10 minutes.

Lately however, she is waking up very upset - saying she heard a noise or had a bad dream or something like that and asking to come into my bed. The first time or two I let her - and to be fair she just goes straight to sleep and doesn't wake up again so it's fine.

I'm just thinking that I don't want her to start getting used to it - but negotiating with her in the middle of the night is useless because the more I try and persuade her to stay in her own room, the more distressed she gets and the louder she is I worry about her waking my youngest.

It seems like an impossible situation - if I refuse she gets upset and nobody gets any sleep, if I say ok then she is just getting her own way.

Plus in the middle of the night I can't be bothered to argue, I just want to go back to sleep!!

Any advice?

glentoran99

When she falls asleep in your bed put her back

Fosterdog

Try not to think of it as her getting her own way but that for whatever reason she needs the comfort of being close to you, if she goes straight to sleep and doesn't wake again until morning there's not really a problem.

I get that here it is part of the culture for children to sleep in their own bed and their own room but there are many many places where that would be completely unheard of and children sleep with their parents for a lot longer.

WibblyGirly

Could you lay with her in her bed until she falls back to sleep then creep out? Or maybe get a night light if she hasn't got one? Tell her it keeps the monsters away

chris_n_tj

Leave a night light on, or as glentoran says take her back into her own bed once she is asleep. Or as wibblygirly says lay with her until she is asleep.
x

Silvertabby

Could you lay with her in her bed until she falls back to sleep then creep out? Or maybe get a night light if she hasn't got one? Tell her it keeps the monsters away

Eeek no! If there's a power cut she'll panic!

trailingspouse

Do NOT say it keeps the monsters away. There are no monsters. Saying it will keep them away implies that they really exist!! Way to really frighten a small child!

rach_k

There's a difference between 'getting her way' over something she doesn't need like a 5th episode of Peppa Pig and 'getting her way' over something she does need, like comfort when she's upset.

It's only a battle if you choose to frame it as such. Why not, instead, choose to see it as good parenting? She's upset, you help her feel better. If it later becomes a habit you can deal with it then.

AylesburyDuck

I wouldnt panic, she'll grow out of it soon enough.
At one point in our lives we had 4 children under 7, bought a superking sized bed because sometimes we could end up with 2-3 children with us :eek:
It doesnt last forever and they do grow out of it.

pinkshoes

Just go with the flow then implement a reward chart with fabulous treats when she is old enough to understand bribery.

One of my one year old twins often sleeps in my bed once she wakes up as I prefer sleep to a battle!

balletshoes

Fosterdog wrote: »

Try not to think of it as her getting her own way but that for whatever reason she needs the comfort of being close to you, if she goes straight to sleep and doesn't wake again until morning there's not really a problem.

I get that here it is part of the culture for children to sleep in their own bed and their own room but there are many many places where that would be completely unheard of and children sleep with their parents for a lot longer.

yep i agree with this, if its not actually a problem for you and she's not disturbing your sleep when she sleeps in bed with you, I don't really see it as an issue. She'll sleep all night in her own bed when she's ready.