Advice needed - House or Wedding?

EmeraldEye

I think "need" should always be prioritised over "want" and the approach you are thinking of taking is very sensible, you need a place to live, you don't need a marriage certificate.

It's entirely up to you (obviously) but if I was you I wouldn't be pressurised into spending money on a wedding, instead I'd be planning a stable future and laying the ground work to make it a reality - Save for the home, put the wedding dream on the back burner for now.

FrustrationFull

We put down £12000 on our house deposit last year, and are currently planning a wedding for less than £5000. We priced up a wedding in the uk, but it was coming around £19000. We have got two weeks in Cyprus with a day just as we imagined with 14 family and friends. A luxury wedding doesnt have to be done in the uk. That might be another option if she would consider it?

Either way, i think you do have to consider the cost rising for both of them. Houses are likely to rise more, and there are fewer compromises youll likely make with a house than a wedding.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Look at this: http://chaircoversforcelebrations.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/blush-pink-at-the-Elvetham-P1.jpg

You can see the coordination between the flowers and the chair covers. The vases on the tables are high, so that no ones view is blocked.

Here, you can see a match between the bows on the back of the seats with the tablecloth - http://www.simplybowsandchaircovers.co.uk/simplybows/images/banner1.jpg

Literally nobody notices these things except women who are also planning their own Best Day Of Your Life. These are the only things people remember about weddings:

-was there enough free booze
-did anyone start a fight
-did someone stand up and shout YES at the "if anyone knows of any lawful impediment" bit
-bride/groom didn't turn up

If you asked 50% of the guests (ie the blokes) as they left the venue what colour the bridesmaids' dresses, flowers and chair covers were, they would stare at you blankly.

davidwood123

catkins wrote: »

Me and OH got married without living together first and had only known each other 6 months and we celebrate our 36th anniversary this year.




Why does there have to be a sit down 3 course meal though? It seems to cost a ridiculous amount - more than a really good restaurant in London would charge.

Me and OH wanted to be married before buying a house. We got married after 6 months of meeting so had very little money. All we wanted was to be together so a big show off wedding was never going to be our thing.

It's perfectly possible to have a wedding, whether register office or church, that doesn't cost a fortune. We had friends make our cake, provide the buttonholes and other flowers. We used OH's car to get us both to the register office. We and parents provided all the food for the buffet, a friend did the disco.

We both loved our wedding as did our family and friends.

Some of the best weddings we have been to have been the cheapest. Also most friends that spent fortunes on their weddings say they regret it as almost all of them went into debt for it (most are now divorced but that's a different story!).

Where I live property prices are going up almost by the day so I would never spend a lot on a wedding if it meant I had to delay buying

Different times.

Do that in this day and age you're either really desperate or need help

Torry_Quine

davidwood123 wrote: »

Different times.

Do that in this day and age you're either really desperate or need help

That's not very nice.

We bought our house and got married at the same time, savings not specifically for that though.
We just naturally saved from starting work at 17, met at 23 and bought house and got married at 24.

Do know young people who get married in much the same way and age nowadays.

[Deleted User]

FrustrationFull wrote: »

We put down £12000 on our house deposit last year, and are currently planning a wedding for less than £5000. We priced up a wedding in the uk, but it was coming around £19000. We have got two weeks in Cyprus with a day just as we imagined with 14 family and friends. A luxury wedding doesnt have to be done in the uk. That might be another option if she would consider it?

Either way, i think you do have to consider the cost rising for both of them. Houses are likely to rise more, and there are fewer compromises youll likely make with a house than a wedding.

And you just push the cost onto your guests who need to shell out for flights and accommodation. It cost me a grand when my wife's best friend got married in Cyprus.

Out, Vile Jelly - fully aware it is meaningless to most blokes BUT it's what goes through the mind of a bride planning an expensive wedding 'of their dreams'

onlyroz

mai_taylor wrote: »

Why wouldn't they enjoy a day of free food and booze?

But would they enjoy it *more* if the chair covers matched with the floral arrangement, and the vases were elevated so they didn't obscure your view of the person sitting opposite?

onlyroz

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Look at this: http://chaircoversforcelebrations.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/blush-pink-at-the-Elvetham-P1.jpg

You can see the coordination between the flowers and the chair covers. The vases on the tables are high, so that no ones view is blocked.

Here, you can see a match between the bows on the back of the seats with the tablecloth - http://www.simplybowsandchaircovers.co.uk/simplybows/images/banner1.jpg

This stuff ends up important to creating a nice room. Sure, people will generally not notice it once the disco/band fires up. This stuff ends up important to brides

Can I remember my wedding colour scheme from 9 years ago? Nope, can't at all. I remember we had similar high vases. The best money we spent was on a good live band.

If you want to do all that then fine. But should you do it if you're on a tight budget and also have a house deposit to save up for? Probably not.


People have been persuaded that all this guff is necessary to ensure you have the perfect day. It really isn't. I last went to a wedding about a year ago and I've got no idea if there were seat covers, or what colour they might have been. I can't remember if there were flowers on the table. I can't remember what I ate. But I still had a good time catching up with all my old uni friends, and I enjoyed seeing the bride and groom happy together.

Pollycat

Torry_Quine wrote: »

That's not very nice.

We bought our house and got married at the same time, savings not specifically for that though.
We just naturally saved from starting work at 17, met at 23 and bought house and got married at 24.

Do know young people who get married in much the same way and age nowadays.

I don't know many people who do that nowadays.

ringo_24601 wrote: »

And you just push the cost onto your guests who need to shell out for flights and accommodation. It cost me a grand when my wife's best friend got married in Cyprus.

Now you've gone and done it.

That's a whole new discussion.
I've seen lots of threads on here about the problems created by people getting married abroad and expecting their guests to attend.

I don't think I'd ever attend a wedding abroad.
If we want a holiday, it'll be when we want it, where we want it - and not with dozens of people we probably wouldn't usually socialise with.

Torry_Quine

Pollycat wrote: »

I don't know many people who do that nowadays.


Now you've gone and done it.

That's a whole new discussion.
I've seen lots of threads on here about the problems created by people getting married abroad and expecting their guests to attend.

I don't think I'd ever attend a wedding abroad.
If we want a holiday, it'll be when we want it, where we want it - and not with dozens of people we probably wouldn't usually socialise with.

Even that means that some still do.

I too wouldn't be going to a wedding abroad, I don't even have a passport. If a wedding isn't close enough to come home that night then its very unlikely I would go.