Harassment claim at work.

CitizenBell

I don't want to take her to court. I couldn't build a case around one item of sentimentality. I'd have to ask for the item and the money too. She's at uni doing a master and she's hard-up and her parents always have been. I don't think she can afford to pay me back as it would be one month of her paycheck.

The plan that has been drawn up is fine with me. I'm not sure it will be with her. I've said to management I am fine as it is. I'm not at her throat. I don't hate her by any stretch of the imagination.

I know it's stupid but...when the original plan was put in place I was told various things by my senior manager at the time.
"We're just putting this in place to protect you."
"This says more about her than it does about me."
"None of us consider this to be harassment."
"I went around the room and they all said 'she's manipulative."
"This is vindictive and selfish and cruel, unnecessarily cruel."
"You've done nothing wrong."

I didn't want to go to management to lodge a grievance against her for...lying, pretty much, about waiting around in the office or lurking in the office. And in the haze of my post-surgery...and if you haven't had brain surgery for something like that then it's hard to know what it's like...I thought to myself that I didn't want management to think any less of her because I was quite shocked at the way they were talking about her. Regardless of how she treat me or what she's done or what people think I've done...that's a girl that I spent 10 days with while she had an emotional breakdown and cried every night. You don't just forget about that. And while emotions may have clouded my judgement, I wasn't happy that management were talking about her in those kind of terms.

I don't love her. I don't hate her. But I care about her future and career and didn't want to go through work formally. I don't know if the harassment claims were leaked by her or a contact officer (confidential conversations with trained staff members) or what but the office knows about it. Colleagues and peers have taken an extremely dim view of her. I'm not sure she knows or realises.

I know now it was stupid. But I didn't like people disliking her and thought it would look better for her if we were able to remain professional.

We both want exactly the same thing. Nothing to do with the other and to avoid the other. I wanted to be able to be civil and professional. I just want my daughter's toy back. My daughter died a cot death. I don't have memories.

CitizenBell

Actually, when I rang my old HEO after my second bleed and sick period, and said I was worried about coming back to work because I had to follow the plan and avoid certain areas, I was explicitly told "You don't. You've made these claims worse in your head. Nobody considers this to be harassment."

So:
-A plan is put in place to me based on exaggerated and false allegations. I'm told I've done nothing wrong but the plan is punitive, but it's 'to protect me'.
-I'm then told six weeks later I don't have to stick to the plan by my HEO at the time.
-I send an e-mail requesting an item back and saying I don't want any contact beyond sorting it out.
-My new HEO confirms I don't have to stick to a plan.
-A grievance gets lodged against me because I didn't stick to the plan.
-Management come up with a new plan.

The way it has been handled has been pretty shoddy. I'm not sure how an investigation would find the situation but if I did lose my job over something like this (and I don't, I think I'd get a warning or my pay docked for a month if they decided I had done something wrong) would I stand on decent ground in terms of an appeal based on the mixed messages I've been told. "You can't contact her, you have to avoid her." "That doesn't matter, you can do what you want, you don't have to stick to the plan." "A grievance has been raised because you didn't stick to the plan." "Here's a new plan you have to stick to."

jobbingmusician

If you have had a brain bleed, it's quite likely that your emotions will be labile and unreliable. Don't worry about the past, just focus on getting your property back. A solicitor's letter asking for this is likely to be a good idea. Focus on retrieval of the property rather than any thoughts of the perpetrator. If you do this through a 3rd party you will not lay yourself open to any accusations of harassment.

Guest101

Your employer cannot stop you taking legal action.


So take legal action. literally solved for you (google 'MCOL' and 'Letter before action')

Bogalot

jobbingmusician wrote: »

If you have had a brain bleed, it's quite likely that your emotions will be labile and unreliable. Don't worry about the past, just focus on getting your property back. A solicitor's letter asking for this is likely to be a good idea. Focus on retrieval of the property rather than any thoughts of the perpetrator. If you do this through a 3rd party you will not lay yourself open to any accusations of harassment.

Harassment can be indirect.

I'm not suggesting OP should not pursue getting their item back, they have every right to do so, but they need to make the solicitor aware of the situation before asking them to send a letter. They may suggest delaying it until any grievance is resolved.

What I would do is keep their seniors aware of any steps they intend to take, and do so in writing (email is sufficient). If they have not handled this correctly, and HR then become involved, it wouldn't be unheard of for seniors to "forget" earlier conversations.

Guest101

Bogalot wrote: »

Harassment can be indirect.

I'm not suggesting OP should not pursue getting their item back, they have every right to do so, but they need to make the solicitor aware of the situation before asking them to send a letter. They may suggest delaying it until any grievance is resolved.

What I would do is keep their seniors aware of any steps they intend to take, and do so in writing (email is sufficient). If they have not handled this correctly, and HR then become involved, it wouldn't be unheard of for seniors to "forget" earlier conversations.

In what way do you mean, harassment can be indirect?


That aside, the OP does not even need to use a solicitor. Taking legal action cannot be considered harassment.

agrinnall

Guest101 wrote: »

So take legal action. literally solved for you (google 'MCOL' and 'Letter before action')

Can you use the small claims track for an item of "no monetary value"?

Guest101

agrinnall wrote: »

Can you use the small claims track for an item of "no monetary value"?

No tlikely, I meant more the holiday costs etc.

Wake_up_call

I used to work with a woman like this.

She went from man to man around the office and claimed so kind of harassment after each break-up.

Sadly, ten years later she managed to get a job at company I worked for in the intervening years and is still bad mouthing me to colleagues. I left before she started thankfully, but I still hear the stories.

The girl is bonkers.

agrinnall

Guest101 wrote: »

No tlikely, I meant more the holiday costs etc.

Yes, it could be used for that, but I don't think that's the primary consideration for the OP:

"My email basically stated that I wanted the item back and explained to her about my daughter and about the surgery, etc, what the item meant to me. I didn't ask for the money back."

I'd imagine that it would be possible for legal action to be taken for the return of an item, but it would probably have to use a more costly method than small claims.