Feeling low

Purple213

Just needed to offload a bit - life is a bit stressful at the moment and I just feel miserable today. Normally I can put on the happy face and no one notices but OH commented today that I seemed a bit off. I said I was fine as didn't want to go into a long discussion about how I felt. Told him it was work related, which is mostly true and now he's angry because I'm unhappy and like it's not fair on him. Surely everyone has an off day when they just don't want to be all happy smiley.
Reading that back does make seem like a moany git tho.

LilElvis

Sounds totally normal to me. I know that sometimes when I'm stressed out or feeling a bit down I don't want to talk about it to my husband, or anyone else, because doing so just prolongs the feeling and often ends up making me feel worse. Is this how you feel about it?

Hope that a good night's sleep will see your mood lifting.

Purple213

Thanks for that - I just wanted a bit of space to mull bits over. OH not good at emotional chit chat at best of times lol. He can be a tad dramatic so if I moan about something at work he's all for charging down there and defending my honour - when really someone just peed me off and I'll get over it - it's not a big deal to me.

[Deleted User]

Be drunk and be happy like me. Usually works ok .... If he annoys you, tell him to jog on

BOBS

Purple213 wrote: »

Just needed to offload a bit - life is a bit stressful at the moment and I just feel miserable today. Normally I can put on the happy face and no one notices but OH commented today that I seemed a bit off. I said I was fine as didn't want to go into a long discussion about how I felt. Told him it was work related, which is mostly true and now he's angry because I'm unhappy and like it's not fair on him. Surely everyone has an off day when they just don't want to be all happy smiley.
Reading that back does make seem like a moany git tho.

Exactly how I feel today - really cant get myself lifted. And like you been told that I seem off - dont even want to start explaining . Would love to be able to put a happy face on, but would like to just curl up and sleep.
Lets hope tomorrow is sunnier xx

melanzana

I often feel like this around this time of year. Maybe it's ridiculous but the changing of the seasons can affect me!

Anyway, you are right, everyone has their good and bad days, and I always say, as long as the good days outweigh the bad, that's ok.

But TBH if your OH is not sympathetic that's horrible. He can just go out for a walk, or go to the pub or visit friends or whatever. No need to pitch it back at you really. He sounds like a man child, all attention to him, naturally!

I hope you will be ok. I go through this now and then, but OH knows when to go for a walk!

On the plank....

onomatopoeia99

Purple213 wrote: »

I said I was fine as didn't want to go into a long discussion about how I felt.

I expect to be roundly lambasted for saying this and though triggered by your post it's a general point directed at anyone that says "I'm fine" when the patently are not. Please don't. Even if it involves making a bit of an effort, please tell the truth.

Whatever the reasons, us chaps don't actually appreciate being blatantly lied to by people we love. It just makes two unhappy people where there was one before and to be honest is pretty insulting.

trying_to_stay_afloat

I quite often go through low periods where even I don't know whats making me miserable.
My OH and I have a sort of code where if I'm miserable he'll ask "are we ok?" If everythings fine with our relationship I'll answer yes and then he knows to leave me alone until I'm ready to talk.


Most times after a couple of days I'm fine and then things carry on.

KiKi

It doesn't sound to me like your OH in unsympathetic, more than he could see you weren't okay, but when he asked you about it you just said you were fine.

I'm female, and I just can't understand other women (or men, but I usually observe this with women) who say "I'm fine" when they're clearly not. Then wonder why their OH doesn't care or is cross.

If you don't want to tell him about it, that's fine, but don't lie. Explain that you're feeling down but would prefer not to talk about it. And if you want him to do something specific / not do something, tell him. Don't expect him to mind read.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow.
KiKi

Primrose

I think we all have our low or grumpy old git days. The secret is to be Honest about it with your partner and say "it's honestly nothing to do with you/us. Just Don't take any notice and it will work itself through".

Give yourself a little space, a nice relaxing bath and probably by tomorrow whatever is niggling you will have worked its way through your system We!re all human and none of us can be happy all the time. We just have to make allowances in relationships knowing that often the moment will pass fairly quickly.

Purple213

Thanks for the replies. It's a complicated back story which i would bore you all to tears with. I did say to him that I just felt a bit out of sorts but nothing major. He doesn't understand why I sometimes feel like it - mostly it's work stress as I have a very demanding job and stuff he can't do anything about. I didn't see it as lying to him as in the past when I've tried to explain stuff like this he's just made it worse by asking for all the details and then going on and on etc.
We've been together 18 years and though I love him dearly and I know he loves me - sometimes we just can't talk things out without making the problems worse.
I did apologize for being a mardy bum yesterday and he seems in a better mood .
Thanks again for listening - just needed to vent I think yesterday x