Dog and visitors

Timpu

Our dog loves people, especially making friends with children. We have friends coming over with their young child (2yr old). One of the parents is scared witless of dogs, in fact, any animal freaks them out. I sympathise, fear is irrational and difficult to control.

I'm worried about how to handle the visit. I'd love to hear from those of you who have pets that aren't appreciated by others.

DH and I have agreed that if it gets too much, the dog and I will head to the pub together. We will start the visit with our dog on lead too, perhaps have a game of fetch outside.

The friends have, I'm sorry to say, very little common sense and don't have an awareness of handling animals. For example, despite explaining at length, they don't understand that a crate is not a play thing for their child but a bolt hole for our dog. (I got the child away from the crate pretty fast, as you can imagine.) It therefore falls to me to make sure their child is safe and frankly, with DH being very easy going and their lack of knowledge, whilst I also play host...I find the whole thing exhausting and frustrating.

gettingready

Arrange to meet them in a pub? Do they have to come to your house?

arbrighton

Agree with getting ready, sounds stressful for everyone

sheramber

If someone os frightened of dogs i shut my dogs in another room that no one needs to go in. If you are worried that a child will annoy them then use a baby goat on the door.

Nothing positive is achieved by forcing them to meet the dog. In fact you could make them worse if the dog is inclined to show interest in them. Having the dog on a lead will probably not be reassuring as there is the fear that it might escape.

I also have friendly dog who find visitors exciting. All the more reason to show consideration for a scared visitor.

If you want the dog to meet the other members of the family them by all means invite them outside , when the scared one can decline and stay inside.

If you already know they do not know how to behave round a dog then protect your dog by shutting it away safely with a special treat.

Otherwise I would meet them out of the house somewhere.

fierystormcloud

Is there no-one that can look after your dog for the few hours your friends and baby are at your house?

If I was a mother of a 2 y.o. I wouldn't want the child near someone's dog who was in their own territory and especially if I was scared of dogs, no matter how friendly the owners claimed the dog was.

We knew someone once who point blank refused to ever put their crazy hyperactive bonkers spaniel away when small children visited, and the dog ALWAYS knocked the kids flying, causing bumps and bruises and scratches. After several visits, each family with the kids just stopped visiting, and the couple got all sniffy that no-one came to see them anymore!

Undervalued

Timpu wrote: »

Our dog loves people, especially making friends with children. We have friends coming over with their young child (2yr old). One of the parents is scared witless of dogs, in fact, any animal freaks them out. I sympathise, fear is irrational and difficult to control.

I'm worried about how to handle the visit. I'd love to hear from those of you who have pets that aren't appreciated by others.

DH and I have agreed that if it gets too much, the dog and I will head to the pub together. We will start the visit with our dog on lead too, perhaps have a game of fetch outside.

The friends have, I'm sorry to say, very little common sense and don't have an awareness of handling animals. For example, despite explaining at length, they don't understand that a crate is not a play thing for their child but a bolt hole for our dog. (I got the child away from the crate pretty fast, as you can imagine.) It therefore falls to me to make sure their child is safe and frankly, with DH being very easy going and their lack of knowledge, whilst I also play host...I find the whole thing exhausting and frustrating.

Where as you of course are perfect?

Is it actually "irrational" to have a fear of dogs? Maybe s/he feels it is irrational to want to share your home with a creature from another species?

A little understanding would be a good start!

elsien

Dog in crate in another room. One which it is made very clear child does not enter. One of you can take him for a walk somewhere in the middle if it's going to be too long for him to be on his own.
If that's not possible, dog in car for a couple of hours? I have also been known to put dog in doggy day care for the day, just so I could enjoy the visit without worrying about mishaps.
Sometimes it's just easier to keep everyone apart. And it'll do the dog no harm to not be the centre of attention for a while. I don't see the point in doing the dog on a lead thing for an adult who's petrified and a child too young to know any better - I only do that when it's dog savvy people and Gitdog just needs to calm down before being let off the lead.
Presumably you've invited them to enjoy your company, which none of you will be doing if you're all fretting about dogs, children and who might do what to who.

Person_one

I'd say don't invite them!

Meet somewhere else or at their house. It sounds like it'd be a complete pain trying to juggle excitable friendly dogs, panicky stressed adults and kids who don't know how to behave around animals!

Best to avoid the situation altogether I reckon.

TBagpuss

Dog in crate, or in a room where the visitors won't be.

The purpose of the visit isn't to try to help your friend to get over their fear of dogs, or to decide on their behalf that it's time to introduce their child to dogs.

The considerate thing to do is to let your friend know that you understand that they are not comfortable around dogs so you have shut the dog into a different room, or into his crate, or have arranged for him to be with a neighbour.

For the dog's sake, think about how long the visit will be and how to manage it for him, which might include taking him out for a walk during some of the visit, so he isn't shut away for too long, or arranging to take him into the garden (and letting any visitors who *do* like dogs, come outside at that time)

I wouldn't start the visit with dog on lead. I'd start the visit with dog in a different room, and an explanation to visitor "We know you don't care for dogs, so Fido is shut into the kitchen. He will hear us and be excited, so do make sure that little Billy doesn't open the door, as Fido will be excited and bouncy. We may need to take Fido out to play in the garden in a bit, he isn't used to be being shut up for long periods")

That way, you're making clear up front that you are considerate of their needs and concerns, and reassuring them that you are not going to try to make them spend time with an animal they are scared of, and at the same time, you're setting boundaries about their child and ensuring that your dog is safe.

peachyprice

I would put your dog, with it's crate, in another room away from your visitors. No question.

GwylimT

I just wouldn't invite them to the house.