in desperate need of help

shellybell120

Hi there - like some of the other users on here, I am new to all this so sorry if i dont make much sense.

Since separating from my partner 5 years ago with not even 2 pennies to rub together - I managed to buy a house for me and my daughter on what was a terrible salary at the time. However, i had to take out loans and use credit cards to furnish the house, live and pay for child care.

5 years on, i have had one nervous breakdown through the stress of working and looking after my daughter on my own (Ihave no family to help) and am now in about £30k worth of debt that I now cannot pay for. My house has about 60k worth of equity in it but my credit rating is now on its knees. I have now changed jobs to accomodate being around for my daughter but it leaves me with a salary that is less then when i first graduated from university. I dont claim benfits, never have, didnt want to one who milked the sytem, plus i come from a background where you have to stand on your own two feet.

I literally have about 2 weeks before i have to make next months payments and i cant. All the terrible thoughts of suicide have crossed my mind but i cant leave my daughter - but i am too ashamed to talk to anyone.

please please help xxx

Lucy1982_2

Firstly please clam down, you are not alone.

Secondly have a read of the sticky post 'First Time Posters' as this will explain all the info we need.

Thirdly have you thought about contacting someone like payplan? they may be able to help you although, I don't know much about them

shell_girl

Welcome to the board Shelly. It's hard when you don't know where to go or what to do next but you've come to the right place!

Try and give us an idea of what you've got coming in each month and where exactly it goes (this is your SOA) and there'll be plenty of people along straight away to give you support and advice.

jo1972

Oh hunny, what a horrible situation

Get yourself a cup of tea, sit down and have a read of these boards. There is so much stuff on here that will help you.

First thing you need to do is take a look at Southern Scousers thread at the top of this forum for newbies, get together all your incomings and outgoings and do your Statement of Affairs (SOA).

Then the people on here can go through it with a fine tooth comb and pick out bits that you can reduce or find ways to get your outgoings down.

It is possible and you will definately be in a better position once you've done this.

We've all been in debt, that's why we are here. There is nothing to be ashamed of, nobody will make you feel bad on this board (or any board on MSE for that matter ).

Good luck, stop thinking bad thoughts, you've done amazing to get as far as you have by yourself

Jo.x

JCD_Capulet

Shelly, as Lucy says, please calm down. Go take a wee walk around the garden, take some deep breaths, make yourself a cuppa and come back in. Posting your SOA (statement of affairs, all incomming and outgoings from bills to pet food) all the VERY helpfull people here will have a look at your finances and offer help and advice where we can. You must remember that you are not alone. You aren't the first person to feel like this and won't be the last, but everything can be looked at and advised.

xxx now, go make a cuppa hon x

Selidie

Sound advice from all.

Also, on the benefits front ... claim everything you can. If you are entitled to it, claim it.

I am/was of a similar mentality to yourself in that I wanted to be fully self sufficient but it doesn't always work like that. I was in full time employment for my entire working life until this year, paying my taxes etc etc and when I was out of work for 3 months I got nothing.

In you situation the government is there to help you, don't let it get on top of you any more. You have done the right thing making contact with others in similar situations :grouphug: (by posting on here), think of this as the first step toward a brighter and happier future, it is there, believe me, no matter how unlikely it may seem at the moment.

When you are at rock bottom, the only way to go is up.

GreyPilgrim

Shell, read the sticky and post again as soon as you can and you'll be surprised at the amount of help and support you'll get.

It's only milking the benefit system when you're taking money that you're not entitled to - if you're entitled to it then there's nothing wrong with taking it. You've worked. You've paid tax. Don't feel bad for taking something back when you need it the most? It's exactly what it's there for.

Does the little one's dad help out at all?

I know from experience how tough a job it is to raise a nipper on your own and you've done a grand job to get this far on your own.

Come back and talk some more.

GP

misspoppy

Hi

welcome and please don't worry, you really must claim all you can, there is no point feeling like this unnecessarily the government are quick to take your tax so you should be quick to get support from them. check out this website it might brighten your day a little. it will tell you about how much you can claim http://www.entitledto.com/

Shineyhappy

Have a look at www.entitledto.co.uk to get whatever benefits you are entitled to and try and get any payments backdated as well. Hopefully this will help to ease some of the debt. Have you got any old toys/clothes you could sell on Ebay to raise some funds?

Are you getting maintence? If not try and chase it up. ALso are you getting single persons council tax discount if you are the only adult in the house? You can also spread the payments over 12 months not 10.

You are working and not sponging! These are benefits designed to help people like you in times like this.

Keep posting we will help you get through this!

Try and post an SOA like the others have suggested as this will really help us to help you more.

mjdh1957

I'd like to echo what misspoppy and shineyhappy have said.

You are entitled to help from the system, it's not a hand out, you have paid taxes yourself so why not seek help from them?

And have a nice cup of tea and maybe a choccy biscuit and have a look at the sticky post from SouthernScouser aimed at first-time posters about making up a SoA (statement of affairs).

There are a lot of really great people on here and we've all been in situations like yours with debt.

Good luck!

pariskate

No advice to give other than the above but sending you a hug,