£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

XSpender

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

Teeny weeny bright spot - DH went on the MSE credit club thing and it said we would get accepted for a Virgin 0% deal. We applied and got accepted, so the entire partnership balance is being transferred over to a 0% deal with zero transfer fee! Which means that at least every penny we're paying is coming off the balance rather than losing a chunk each month.

Also have just invoiced for my work this month and once it's paid I'll have... drumroll.... all of my business account expenses/salary covered for Feb, March, April and 75% of May. So nearly there with having three month's spare (obviously February's will be transferred around tomorrow as we need it to actually live on in February).

I'm still feeling like a total moaning minnie over here, but at least it's not all doom and gloom.

Some real positives achieved today

PositiveBalance

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

Teeny weeny bright spot - DH went on the MSE credit club thing and it said we would get accepted for a Virgin 0% deal. We applied and got accepted, so the entire partnership balance is being transferred over to a 0% deal with zero transfer fee! Which means that at least every penny we're paying is coming off the balance rather than losing a chunk each month

DawnW wrote: »

This is actually quite a big 'bright spot' Have you worked out how much you will save on interest each month?

Oooooh! :j I agree with DawnW - that's a super blood moon bright spot! :beer:

ToPM, don't be so hard on yourself. This is a case of 'take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves' and exit velocity: you are in the horrible treading quicksand stage at the moment, but things like that card transfer (that's £600 you have save in interest over the year :T) will incrementally make a big difference overall and then a few unexpected good things will happen and suddenly you will find yourself cooking with gas. It's just that you can't see it yet. Have faith, keep plodding, and when you get round the next hill something nice might be waiting on your path.

Treadingonplaymobil

Week 51: Day 5

Morning! Am trying to get myself out of my doom and gloom, but still feeling in a bit of a grump. Edited to add headers to the massive post below, as it all got a bit rambling.

Enthusiasticsaver the reason I say £250 on my SOA is a fear that things will tail off for me, and being conservative in the face of unknown income - in the 2015/16 financial year I randomly made only £3,000 for no reason I could identify, but the two years before that and 2016/17 it was £8-10k (£8k last year, so around £650 a month), so I see £250 as an absolute worst case scenario nightmare income.

In 2017 some of the extra I earned went on big unexpected expenses like car costs and getting the garden done, some went on propping up our budget overspending (our initial SOA required us to not only stick to budget but for me to earn £350-400 a month. We overspent by a few hundred every single month for six months, and spent all of the extra in my 'bumper' January and February months when I made around a third of my annual income, then I had a very lean couple of months in the summer and autumn). Not going to pretend that's wonderful, but that was the reality of last year. Our budget was around £3,800 total outgoings per month, and it took us until at least September to stop actually spending less than £4,000 per month, and until about July it was frequently closer to £4,500, which nicely accounts for the 'missing' £5k of income.

Clothes
Have to admit that my clothing spends were also a huge unspoken (on here) issue last year until I started budgeting for them in my business account - they were significant in our overspends as once I had 'blown my top' I kept spending (to the tune of a couple of hundred pounds a month on average over the year - I suspect my pre-LBM spends were more like £350+ a month on clothes), but now I have a realistic pot for them before factoring in my salary etc, they are much more manageable and I'm not overspending. I had to accept that some spend is necessary because of my job, and budget realistically for that instead of saying 'ooh, I can do it for £30 a month', as I am terrible, if I don't have a realistic budget, for overspending and then just carrying on spending as it feels like the damage is done.

Lessons learnt
I am trying not to focus too much on last year, which was about turning the tanker, and am essentially viewing us as starting from scratch in January this year, with all the lessons learnt over the last (almost) twelve months. And hopefully some more lessons to learn which will keep us moving even faster in the right direction. So far I have managed to put by enough profit to cover my salary until May, and once I have May covered I will start throwing extra at debt overpayment, emergency savings and extension savings. All things being equal I will be able to chuck an extra few grand at the debt this year on top of our SOA numbers, but as I said, I don't want to count my chickens before they are hatched as I really didn't manage that in any way last year!

Lifestyle factors
I know we have discussed it here before, but it is also hugely important to me (and, to be honest, a big factor in our financial problems) that our children have the benefit of me being around in some sort of SAHM-type role, able to go to school assemblies, shuttle them around to clubs and be there when they are off school poorly, make meals from scratch etc etc. But also have a lifestyle where they don't totally miss out financially. And if we didn't have the debt I think we would be managing that balance - if you cut the debt from our budget and we had an extra £350-ish a month, we'd be able to save more for the extension and know it would be done, then have the money to make the budget balance a little more easily. This situation isn't as easily resolved as the clothing budget, and it's one that I've really only become aware of (my internal 'my family's life must be a certain way' voice) since having this diary and having you lot pointing out that my lists are deranged and I am trying to do too much. I've reined it in a little, but still haven't got the balance sorted in a way that feels exactly right for us.

My hopes
I know that the lifestyle we have chosen means probably always budgeting fairly carefully for food, holidays etc, which I'm happy with - I actually quite enjoy the challenge (believe it or not) of balancing the budgets and coming up with frugal meals and weekend activities. I think I'd like to do all of that, and then to reap the 'reward' for doing it of having a savings pot that could be used for a nice holiday every few years, or buying a bit of furniture for the house when we see something lovely, or being able to have a really lovely weekend in London once a year (have you all noticed we have cut down the London trips, incidentally? They were another massive budget blower, frequently costing several hundred quid each).

And actually I know we will get to that stage, it's just that we have to get through this utterly tediously rubbish stage of hammering down the debt first. And I just need to keep reminding myself that the more focused I can stay on this stage, the quicker we can get onto the nicer bit of being a frugal family with occasional treats, which is where I would like us to be. Please feel free to remind me of this next time I am tempted into a big overspend.

Gosh, I only popped on for a quick catch up post! Was intending to write a big 'ooh, it's February' post later on. That turned into a bit of an epic overshare. Must make sure I download the last page or two of the diary in case someone takes against it and gets the whole thing deleted, like so many others. :eek:

Savings/Spends:
- £0/£28 February 'rounding down' overpayment pot
- £764.80/£5,000 2018 debt repayment goal

To do today
1. Make marmalade. And only write it once on today's list.
2. Browse for more budget recipes to add to our repertoire.
3. Clear the remaining ironing.
4. Get ahead on contract work.
5. Make tinned fish curry for dinner.
6. Make some flatbreads or naans to go with dinner.
7. Make sourdough - will have a good stock in the freezer after today and won't need to bake any for a week or more, which is a nice break in the baking schedule.
8. Write any birthday cards that need to be sent this month - must get more actually, have run out of cheap ones and have had to pop into town for pricier ones a couple of times.
9. A bit of cleaning/tidying/decluttering if time - it always cheers me up when the house is at least clear and tidy.

To do this week
1. More decluttering - particularly the lego!
2. Brainstorm ideas for architect - particularly in the light of the new extension information from the planners.
3. Finish planning any handmade gifts for birthdays/Christmas 2018 so I can ensure they are done well in advance.
4. Plan and book some campsites for summer hols.
5. Do birthday cards for the month and a thank you card for the weekend. Thank you card done.

To do in February
1. Restart social media for my website, which has really been on the back burner so far this year.
2. Eat the contents of the freezer and defrost it.
3. Play around with designs to discuss with the architect in early March.
4. Have a laid back half term with the DC, doing activities at home, walks and crafts. Too many busy weeks recently.
5. SLOW DOWN. This started well at the beginning of the year, but has fallen by the wayside. I have a couple of fractionally less busy weeks coming up, must make a real effort not to fill them with All The Things.

XSpender

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

To do today

2. Browse for more budget recipes to add to our repertoire.

I started doing the same thing yesterday as I am preparing for a super low spend on food in March.

I found these websites useful (can't get the hyperlink to work???)

Eat not Spend
Cooking on a Bootstrap/A Girl Called Jack
thrifylesley <<---the tomato scones are gorgeous

enthusiasticsaver

Sorry I didn’t mean to trigger such an epic post TOPM :rotfl::rotfl:

I think I follow the missing income explanation. Presumably you were also spending from your business account or topping up from there to cover overspends. At least you didn’t add to debt which many have done and have got a better grip on budgeting. As others have said it is like turning a tanker round.

Your lifestyle choice to be a SAHM probably has contributed to your financial woes but is obviously not the only reason for the debt (overspending is the other and I am glad you didn’t spend £55 on the loo brush you talked about a day or so ago ). Hopefully you will eventually get the balance right and be able to treat your kids to the things you would like to do and make your house the home you would like it to be.

Hopefully thinking about the points I raised yesterday made you think about your choices and realise that you know which point you want to get to - the debt gone and enough spare money to do what you want to.

Another thing I would mention and you are not going to thank me for this. Being in a regular paid job not only gives you the security of a regular income but also sick pay and a pension. You will be building up state pension benefits by receiving child benefit but with no occupational pension your frugal ways will have to be very frugal in retirement ( a long way off I know). At some point you will need to look at pension provision and unfortunately this is one of the things which takes time to grow so the sooner the better. I don’t want to pile even more pressure on when you are already feeling stretched but had to mention it.

dont Worry about responding. I know your time is under pressure. I don’t think I have ever made marmalade. I think you would be horrified to hear I pay 69p at Lidls for the basic thin cut.

try_harder

At the end of the day family is the most important thing and you clearly are a great mum .I was always a SAHM ,for one thing i was never organised enough to work although i did find a part time job when they were teenagers during school hours .But i have to say i loved every minute of being with my children and was lucky enough to have my husband who although he was only earning a minimum wage had two jobs so that i could stay at home .I have to say i think that you are doing a brilliant job of combining the two ,everyone has to do what suits them best and to me although i love the challenge now of saving after 36 plus years of never saving all that matters to me are my children and you are doing the very best for yours so never feel you have to justify yourself.

Treadingonplaymobil

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Sorry I didn’t mean to trigger such an epic post TOPM :rotfl::rotfl:

I think I follow the missing income explanation. Presumably you were also spending from your business account or topping up from there to cover overspends. At least you didn’t add to debt which many have done and have got a better grip on budgeting. As others have said it is like turning a tanker round.

Your lifestyle choice to be a SAHM probably has contributed to your financial woes but is obviously not the only reason for the debt (overspending is the other and I am glad you didn’t spend £55 on the loo brush you talked about a day or so ago ). Hopefully you will eventually get the balance right and be able to treat your kids to the things you would like to do and make your house the home you would like it to be.

Hopefully thinking about the points I raised yesterday made you think about your choices and realise that you know which point you want to get to - the debt gone and enough spare money to do what you want to.

Another thing I would mention and you are not going to thank me for this. Being in a regular paid job not only gives you the security of a regular income but also sick pay and a pension. You will be building up state pension benefits by receiving child benefit but with no occupational pension your frugal ways will have to be very frugal in retirement ( a long way off I know). At some point you will need to look at pension provision and unfortunately this is one of the things which takes time to grow so the sooner the better. I don’t want to pile even more pressure on when you are already feeling stretched but had to mention it.

dont Worry about responding. I know your time is under pressure. I don’t think I have ever made marmalade. I think you would be horrified to hear I pay 69p at Lidls for the basic thin cut.

I think you have a track record for triggering some of my most epic posts. :rotfl:

Yes, lots of topping up from the business account to the joint account, but in £50 dribs and drabs, so I would never realise how bad it was until the end of the month.

Pensions are a bit of an elephant in the room. DH contributes a small amount to a work pension, but I don't contribute to anything. Even if I got a job I wouldn't contribute anything above the minimum until debts are paid off. It's another motivation to pay them off, to be honest, as the idea of getting beyond 40 with basically no pension provision (I have a tiny pension from contributions during my few employed years before children!) is a bit alarming.

Treating myself to half an hour's research on budget meal ideas, which is rather relaxing but feels useful .

Treadingonplaymobil

I am feeling a bit chirpier after a good positive day. Listened to a lot of episodes of a favourite ‘slow living’ podcasts while I was doing some of my more mindless work today and realised I need to find a way to marry my slow(ish) living aspirations with our immediate and long term financial goals. I scribbled down a few notes during the day:
1. THREE things on each daily list. If they get done then add more. This excludes ‘routine’ things like school run, laundry etc. Keep a longer list in my bullet journal, but keep each daily list down to the three main items at a time.
2. Ensure there is actually free time. I have cancelled another weekend away we had lined up in early March, and am keeping half term consciously empty of commitments apart from two days visiting my dad. I want to play with the children, go for walks and do some baking with them, not just for them.
3. Think about time in ‘seasons’ - periods of intensive work, periods of a slower pace. This is an intensive period, but it WILL slow down. And if it doesn’t naturally, it’s ok to stick to my committed hours and force it to.
4. Paying off the debt is a huge but vital hurdle in the whole process (I know, not a shock). But it still feels a long way off and gets me down when I really stop and think about what a barrier it is. I need to think of things to keep me motivated - maybe a ‘once that’s paid off you’ve freed up the cash for a nice lamp’ type goals, which is the sort of thing that would motivate me.
5. I need to find a way to live in the now, not wishing time away until DFD/the extension is done/whatever other niggles are top of my mind are gone. I need to make sure my focus is where I want it to be when I’m not working - the DCs, DH, a book, crafting, NOT the irrisistable lure of social media/website browsing. Maybe involving the DCs more in housework to make time with them more productive and teach them, since I do actually now have time to do that.
6. Homemade cleaning products - we are running out of method cleaners and I am going to revisit vinegar/bicarb/citric acid/essential oils again. I used to do it, and it’s not harder than buying them once you get in the rhythm of it. DH can get over the ‘ewww vinegar’ comments (the smell lasts about five minutes).

Savings/Spends:
- £0/£28 February 'rounding down' overpayment pot
- £764.80/£5,000 2018 debt repayment goal

To do today
1. Make marmalade. And only write it once on today's list. Ermm, the oranges are boiled. Will finish it tomorrow.
2. Browse for more budget recipes to add to our repertoire. Done, Xspender’s site recs were ace.
3. Clear the remaining ironing. Not done.
4. Get ahead on contract work. Done. This is Good News.
5. Make tinned fish curry for dinner. Done. Yum. Big hit all round, especially when I told them oily fish makes you smarter .
6. Make some flatbreads or naans to go with dinner. Done. Also yum.
7. Make sourdough - will have a good stock in the freezer after today and won't need to bake any for a week or more, which is a nice break in the baking schedule. Ready to bake in the morning.
8. Write any birthday cards that need to be sent this month - must get more actually, have run out of cheap ones and have had to pop into town for pricier ones a couple of times. Done, but didn’t get more.
9. A bit of cleaning/tidying/decluttering if time - it always cheers me up when the house is at least clear and tidy. Actually did some of this - probably why I’m feeling less irritated!

To do this week
1. More decluttering - particularly the lego!
2. Brainstorm ideas for architect - particularly in the light of the new extension information from the planners.
3. Finish planning any handmade gifts for birthdays/Christmas 2018 so I can ensure they are done well in advance.
4. Plan and book some campsites for summer hols.
5. Do birthday cards for the month and a thank you card for the weekend. done.

To do in February
1. Restart social media for my website, which has really been on the back burner so far this year.
2. Eat the contents of the freezer and defrost it.
3. Play around with designs to discuss with the architect in early March.
4. Have a laid back half term with the DC, doing activities at home, walks and crafts. Too many busy weeks recently.
5. SLOW DOWN. This started well at the beginning of the year, but has fallen by the wayside. I have a couple of fractionally less busy weeks coming up, must make a real effort not to fill them with All The Things.

welshlady33

Hi topm

So glad to read that the credit club idea worked and glad you didn't wait a couple of months before doing it. £50 a month is a great saving and hopefully goes some way to make up for the unexpected remortgage fees etc.

Have a great evening. :j:T

enthusiasticsaver

You sound more positive which is good. Intrigued as to what slow living is but it sounds relaxing. Off to google it