£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

Misslayed

I stumbled upon this thread at 06.15 this morning. . . just got to the end! What a fascinating and eloquent account of your journey, I've thoroughly enjoyed reading it - so the reason for my post, do you earn money from writing? Maybe you should consider it, you have such a readable style, and already have lots of followers!

On another subject, we had a thoroughly enjoyable family get together in the New Forest last year competing in 'The Stick Man Olympics'. My DIL downloaded instructions, flags, medals and certificates (I think from the Woodland Trust). Everything you need can be collected in the woods - sticks to make marker flags for racing, longer straight sticks for javelins, sticks to mark out a 'river' for jumping over, pine cones for 'putt the cone' or basket cone. Then there was a treasure hunt, and den building. Everyone had a whale of a time, from the four year old birthday boy, 11, year old with ADHD, the teenage, twenty and thirty something uncles (competitive den builders), aunties, and us oldies. Brilliant family bonding, as we met from far and wide. There are picnic tables and safe places for your instant barbecue so costs are minimal.

Treadingonplaymobil

XSpender wrote: »

You are doing so well on keeping your savings pots funded, mine never last the month out

I have pinched the idea of splitting your food spends in to weekly amounts on YNAB and it is giving me greater clarity around our spending. This is our biggest problem area.

I'm also pinching the idea of a separate pot for each person for Christmas on YNAB instead of one 'Christmas' pot.

Having savings pots that actually build up into savings, rather than being used to prop up our budget failings, is my current life goal

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

We have 3 massive plastic stacker boxes for lego, duplo and lego technik. All sets are mixed up but they get good use. The lego was partly from when my husband was a child (50 years ago) and part from when our girls were children (25 years ago). The duplo is now on its third generation with my 2 year old granddaughter using it. Still looks almost new but we have added new sets to it.

My dad took great delight on dumping acres of lego on us that he had saved from our childhoods. Contributed to our current lego problem, but it is amazing that lego and duplo really hasn't changed at all for so many decades!

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Very often lifestyles are supported by credit cards (as yours was until recently) but it is an illusion built on a pile of sand. All it takes is one thing to bring the whole lot down. Private school fees are horrendously expensive so maybe BIL and SIL are prioritising that and their holidays rather than general living expenses and house maintenance. At some point it will get to an unsustainable level though.

At least you can say you now have a grip on your finances.

I'm not sure I'd go so far as a grip. A loose finger and thumb hold maybe

Treadingonplaymobil

Misslayed wrote: »

I stumbled upon this thread at 06.15 this morning. . . just got to the end! What a fascinating and eloquent account of your journey, I've thoroughly enjoyed reading it - so the reason for my post, do you earn money from writing? Maybe you should consider it, you have such a readable style, and already have lots of followers!

On another subject, we had a thoroughly enjoyable family get together in the New Forest last year competing in 'The Stick Man Olympics'. My DIL downloaded instructions, flags, medals and certificates (I think from the Woodland Trust). Everything you need can be collected in the woods - sticks to make marker flags for racing, longer straight sticks for javelins, sticks to mark out a 'river' for jumping over, pine cones for 'putt the cone' or basket cone. Then there was a treasure hunt, and den building. Everyone had a whale of a time, from the four year old birthday boy, 11, year old with ADHD, the teenage, twenty and thirty something uncles (competitive den builders), aunties, and us oldies. Brilliant family bonding, as we met from far and wide. There are picnic tables and safe places for your instant barbecue so costs are minimal.

Stick man olympics sounds awesome! Have added it to our ever growing summer list, will make a great activity for when we camp with friend in the new forest in August.

Thank you for the lovely comment, and yes I do earn from writing - I have a background in writing and editing from back in the day, and my regular reliable minimum income is a writing contract. I'm actually in the process of changing my business a little so that I, hopefully, directly benefit from my writing in my own business as well as doing it for someone else (I'm going to have my own website with a blog on it, which I don't currently have), so hopefully that will help boost my income in the autumn when DC3 starts preschool. I can entertain millions with my witty repartee. :rotfl:

Treadingonplaymobil

Argh. Did some essential shopping for the DCs today - day rucksacks for DC1 and 2, big camping rucksack for DC1 (needed for cub camp, will be useful for other things), new waterproof for DC2, walking boots for DC2, leggings for DC3. All necessary, all on the list, and bought with a 15% off code, but I'm still feeling a little traumatised at spending £125 on the whole lot!

Hoping to get the new logo for my businesses tomorrow, I'm very excited about that (I'm getting a logo and website done as part of a skills/services exchange with someone I know through work, so not costing me anything, and I think they'll do a pretty darn good job). I'm really hoping it will be the first step of kick starting more earning potential from September.

to do today
1. unpack and put away last bits of camping gear. Done.
2. spin and re-hang all the laundry that got thunderstormed on. Done.
3. gel manicure (still loving the lamp!). Done. Bright coral!
4. Bake sourdough. Done, three loaves.
5. Make pudding for family meeting (once a week, usually a Thursday but neither DH or I will be here and it seems mean to leave MIL to do it!). Done, eton mess with frozen strawberries.
6. Update savings pots in YNAB to be more specific. Done, broken down Christmas and birthdays by person in our family who we buy for, plus 'misc' spends for each until I work out a more specific breakdown over the coming year.
7. Pack orders for smaller business. Done.
8. Sort the lego into tupperwares (I am unnaturally excited about this). Not done. This is the thing I was most looking forward to!
9. Pick another room to tidy and declutter. Done.

to do this week
1. survive MIL visiting. :A . So far, so good.
2. continue with cleaning the house thoroughly one room at a time. Ongoing.
3. charity shop run with decluttered stuff that is currently (ironically) cluttering up the hallway.
4. plan out the first couple of weeks of activities for the summer holidays.

Aims for July
1. Pay some extra off the MBNA card - I'd like this card gone asap. Well, a whopping £15 paid on top of the minimum payment so far, hoping to make another payment before end of month.
2. Pay for camping holiday commitments out of self employed income rather than adding to debt. So far so good, but there is one more camping trip to cover in August.
3. Stick to the budget even more closely than in June!

Kantankrus_Mare

Good luck with your logo for your business! How exciting! :j

You will have a group of readers as soon as you are set up and running!

Treadingonplaymobil

Week 23: Day 5

Off to do some work today for another company. It's not fantastic pay after travel etc, but childcare is free (thank you MIL) and they're a lovely company, so it's better than a slap round the face with a wet kipper.

My bank account is looking terribly sad. Waiting for child benefit to come in next week, will be trying to avoid doing another food shop and/or filling the car with fuel until it does! Can move money round if I need to - plenty in savings and business account - but I'll be pleased if I can manage until Tue.

A short list today, as I'm out of the house from 8am until about 6pm.

to do today
1. balance cash kitty.
2. laundry out.
3. email local young archeologists club - DC1 picked up a leaflet and is desperate to join. No idea about cost.

to do this week
1. survive MIL visiting. :A . So far, so good.
2. continue with cleaning the house thoroughly one room at a time. Ongoing.
3. charity shop run with decluttered stuff that is currently (ironically) cluttering up the hallway.
4. plan out the first couple of weeks of activities for the summer holidays.

Aims for July
1. Pay some extra off the MBNA card - I'd like this card gone asap. Well, a whopping £15 paid on top of the minimum payment so far, hoping to make another payment before end of month.
2. Pay for camping holiday commitments out of self employed income rather than adding to debt. So far so good, but there is one more camping trip to cover in August.
3. Stick to the budget even more closely than in June!

armchairexpert

Aha, I thought you might be a fellow mercenary writer, but you said appearances were important in your job and we both know that does NOT apply to writers!

(I hope)

Anyway, everything's sounding good at your end. Interesting that your BIL/SIL see you as the rich ones. I realised a while ago that the things other people have that we don't are very visible to us, and the things they go without are invisible. So I have some friends, for example, I've known them forever and I have a vague idea of how much they earn and I know it can't be much different to us. And I know they pay private school fees, and I have long been baffled how they manage that because they also go to cafes more often than us, little things like that. And then I really looked at how they live (this makes me sound so nosy! It's an illustration more than anything I promise) and I realised that a) they drive very very old cars, b) neither of them get their hair done at hairdressers (mine costs me a fortune), c) it's been years since they mentioned going on a holiday. But I hadn't noticed any of that although I was hyper aware of the things they do have. I think we're wired that day: we're a hierarchical species, so we really notice when we think our status is slipping but we're slower to recognise our advantages.

(There's a whole tangent here to be had about privilege in general which I will spare you but I assure you that in my head it is fascinating).

Kittychick

That's a really interesting point armchair expert. After quite a while seeing a counsellor I find that I tend to have a more 'pollyanna' approach in my day to day life, I look for the positives rather than the negatives however, I don't tend to do this from a financial point. I am not working at present due to various issues although I do voluntary work regularly. We have at least one holiday a year abroad a year but we really have to save for that. We have two old cars that we are running from mot-mot and just hoping for the best, our elderly cat is costing us over £60 a month at the moment in insurance and meds-claim going through and we've both cancelled our gym membership to cover this. I am sure that plenty of our friends see us as being quite well off because I don't 'need' to work.. It's all about perspective I guess..

Kantankrus_Mare

I totally agree on the perspective thing. Neither me or my OH are earning a fantastic wage and to an outsider it looks like we both work part time. OH works a 3 day week but can work up to 12 hours on those days. I work 3 days one week and 4 the other week.

We have a decent holiday every year and like to go out to eat and drink fairly regularly.
We will also have the occasional weekend away.

But....

We havent had a new car for 6/7 years, we dont spend loads on new clothes, have done nothing major in the house for ages. I will only go the hairdressers when absolutely necessary choosing to colour it at home.

I also do a lot of online earning sites that earn me a little extra to spend on Amazon. I use this wisely, stocking up on basics which ekes out our grocery shopping better and enables us to save a bit more towards the holiday. I get tips in my job and just automatically bank these which also builds up a nice little sum.
Some people would fritter this on coffee shops, books, music , clothes etc.

We are very careful with money so we can spend on the nicer things in life.

Treadingonplaymobil

armchairexpert wrote: »

Aha, I thought you might be a fellow mercenary writer, but you said appearances were important in your job and we both know that does NOT apply to writers!

(I hope)

Anyway, everything's sounding good at your end. Interesting that your BIL/SIL see you as the rich ones. I realised a while ago that the things other people have that we don't are very visible to us, and the things they go without are invisible. So I have some friends, for example, I've known them forever and I have a vague idea of how much they earn and I know it can't be much different to us. And I know they pay private school fees, and I have long been baffled how they manage that because they also go to cafes more often than us, little things like that. And then I really looked at how they live (this makes me sound so nosy! It's an illustration more than anything I promise) and I realised that a) they drive very very old cars, b) neither of them get their hair done at hairdressers (mine costs me a fortune), c) it's been years since they mentioned going on a holiday. But I hadn't noticed any of that although I was hyper aware of the things they do have. I think we're wired that day: we're a hierarchical species, so we really notice when we think our status is slipping but we're slower to recognise our advantages.

(There's a whole tangent here to be had about privilege in general which I will spare you but I assure you that in my head it is fascinating).

Don't panic - (a) I write in the fashion industry, hence the need to look good and (b) my main business is even more image-dependent, the writing is just a side job.

Good point about perception, I think that holds true for so many of us.