The ups, downs, and occasional sideways bits of trying to be mortgage free

armchairexpert

It's cold today and I'm struggling through - DH has a cold, and was up and down all night coughing and sneezing so nobody got much sleep. He's on the couch for the day and I'm trying to work. I have a networking drinks thing this afternoon and I don't want to go. So much easier to stay home in my jarmies than get dressed up and drive into the city on the off chance that I might make a new connection.

I'm looking at the budgets with some dismay this month. DH booked the ballet for him and the girls, which will cost $150 and that wipes out our entire entertaining budget for the month, and it's school holidays next week so that's a fortnight of things with no money. So I'll shift money across from savings and cover it, but I'm starting to wonder if it's even possible to get ahead on the mortgage on our income without making life miserable. Everything creeps up all the time. I bought two sorely-needed bras on heavy sale and using a gift voucher and it still cost half of the family's budget for clothes for this month. DH needed PJs, DD1 needs some new winter-weight uniform, that puts us well over budget on that line so there goes some more money from the savings/mortgage OP pot. None of that is a luxury. I don't buy handbags, I only own basic shoes, I haven't bought a single thing of makeup or skincare for over 6 months, I go out to dinner with friends maybe once every three months, I don't belong to a gym or have any expensive hobbies...

I know we're very fortunate to be able to be paying down the mortgage, and I have a flexible job which is a luxury. But I always start budgeting with these wild ideals about really getting ahead, and then I realise that there's just not that much fat to cut. I know that even a little is better than none. But it feels like a slog.

armchairexpert

Enough complaining. It's talking to myself so much that does it. But the sun's out today, I treated myself to a take away coffee from the local cafe, and work's pretty steady.

I've moved the baby chicks out to their outside coop, too. I use the term "baby" loosely; they're !!!!!!! enormous now! They were darling little fluffballs just minutes ago! And they eat like teenagers. Well, they are teenagers, but for some reason I didn't realise poultry went through an adolescent phase. All they do is eat, sleep and try and impress each other. I have an awful feeling all 3 of the Light Sussex are going to be roos, since they're very keen on bumping chests and strutting. We'll see.

It's my Mum's birthday on Good Friday so I offered to take her out for a picnic, and she wants to go to the beach which means a long day of driving because her place is not remotely on the way. It's hard when your parents get older and your kids are still small, but it's a lot better than not having them around. Then I'm having dinner with some school-mum friends on Sunday, and brunch with a friend who's visiting for Easter weekend, after which I shall go back to being a frugal hermit for the foreseeable. That's far too much socialising in one weekend, if you ask me.

Literally nothing MSE-ey happening. I'm thinking of being brave and putting up my contribution to the household budget, which means keeping back less in reserve in the business account. My worry is that work will then immediately fall off a cliff and we'll all starve to death, but I do seem to be consistently earning over the minimum now, so, we'll see.

armchairexpert

Used up a bunch of vegetables in a farmhouse-ey chicken soup last night, the last of which I've just polished off for lunch. Tonight is spinach and feta quiche, which is an excellent way to use up whatever else is left. I'm getting far better at this meal planning lark: by the end of the week the fridge is satisfyingly bare of all but the cluster of jars and pastes at the back of the shelf. DH has got into the spirit of things as well and cooked up the last of our quinces (the only tree that produces anything worth talking about) into several jars of jam which should last a while.

Heading into two weeks of school holidays, so I'm not expecting a huge amount of money saving to be happening. Haven't really planned any activities at all to be honest. Probably should, but I'm drowning in deadlines because all my Friday work is due Thursday and it's early school pick up. On which note.

armchairexpert

Goodness, what a spendy weekend. We don't really do Easter - we're atheists, and I think of Easter as far more of a solemn Christian celebration than Christmas (which seems a lot closer to Yule/midwinter solstice to me), so I limit it to a small Easter egg hunt and that's us done. But it was my mother's birthday on Friday so I bought a nice picnic's worth of stuff - smoked salmon, olives, some insanely expensive gluten free crackers, that sort of thing - and we went to the beach. Global warming has its benefits I guess. And then yesterday I went out to the local pub for a meal with some girlfriends; $30 and three hours of laughing is a good deal in my book. This morning another friend is over from interstate so the whole family went out to brunch, that's another $55 gone.

I also spent the weekend gutting the old garden shed: pulling out an internal wall that was making it dark and cramped, emptying it of all the old timber and things that the previous owners had left, and I spent just under $100 on peg boards and shelving and storage holders so I can finally have a workable system. DH is a very DIY-er kind of guy, but in the 20 years I've known him he's been content to scrabble for the right drill bit in a big box of drill bits, old nails and sawdust, or try and find one of the 27 screwdrivers which could be in any one of about 7 cabinets, and I can't take it any more. I started teaching myself some rudimentary DIY skills last year, and I need to know that the hammer is in the space for the hammer and the screws are not mixed in with the nails. It's crazy to me that he's managed for this long.

So there's a lot of money gone from the discretionary lines, and we're only two days into the fortnight's school holidays! That said, the numbers are still moving downwards which means we were spending a LOT more than I realised. When I did the budget I massively underestimated how much we'd need for basic socialising, clothes, all sorts of things - every month I end up putting money from Savings back into those categories - and it's still a lot less than we were spending. Crazy.

armchairexpert

Spent an eye watering amount at the hairdressers' today. I've spent years and years trying to find a way to cover all the grey without looking washed out or too conservative, and it got to the point where it was just ruined and ridiculous, so now I'm on a long road back to a (boring) blonde-ish colour which will hopefully be far less maintenance longer term. It looks 1000% better, but very conservative to my eye.

Big Girl over at a friend's house today while Little Girl had a friend over here (saves complaining about which friend is playing with whom and who's allowed to join in with what). Little Girl and friend managed to break the pop door on my Mini Cooper (I am trying out new names for the small coop, what do we think?) so I'll have to go down there and fix it before the sun goes down.

Have despatched Mr Expert to drop off and pick up various children this afternoon and carefully not instructed him to pop into the shops, but if he happens to, which I'm not asking him to or anything, but just if he already was going to, could he check for half-price Easter eggs please. I didn't buy myself any in the lead up to Easter and I've been staring at the girls' stash all weekend regretting my life choices.

armchairexpert

Three days into the holidays and I have conceded that we need more money in the entertainment budget this month if I'm to take the girls anywhere at all. I think I just need to go through all our discretionary spending lines and bump them up by 50%, because I don't think we're at all extravagant (although I guess nobody does believe that about themselves) and yet we go way over what I originally thought. This month I needed two sports bras, Mr Expert needed winter pyjamas and new sneakers, and Elder Daughter needs winter uniforms. Even with sale prices (the sports bras and sneakers were all 50% off), shopping for bargains AND using a $50 gift voucher, that's around $400. My original budget guess was $100.

I'm also massively overthinking how I run the discretionary lines. I know a lot of couples just have spends after the bills are paid, but I divided it out into things like hobbies (we all have one, with the same amount allocated), clothes (Mr E has an office job and needs nicer clothes than I do, so it didn't seem fair to make that come out of spends) and entertaining the kids (which is mostly me, and otherwise all my spends go on them). I'd love to know how other people do this so it's fair. On the other hand, maybe if I just bump up all the figures I won't obsess about whether it's fair, because we won't feel deprived.

ALSO I am stressing about the savings goals - it's lovely to be able to see in black and white that I'm putting money towards all this stuff, but there's so much of it - braces for 3 people, solar panels, a holiday, a puppy for Youngest, a tablet for Eldest (she needs for school next year) and it doesn't feel like I have any 'spare' money afterwards. So I think I might snowball it. Put everything towards the first savings goal, then move on to the next. Yes?

armchairexpert

Friday today and I have so many deadlines it's unreal: school holidays mean I'm cramming a week's work into the few days I can get some childcare. So the girls are at my mother's house for the day, bless her, and I needed to put in about a 10 hour day to get through it all.

Unfortunately I am an idiot, and also offered to dog sit a friend's doggie for a long weekend while they went away. Doggie is lovely, but also wants to be walked, and patted, and wants to bark at everything, and wants to know where its family is, and then preferably walked again. All very well and good, doggie, but if I don't get the work done, I can't afford the treats! :rotfl: He's barking at the gate now, I'd better go entertain him. Next time, somebody stop me offering.

armchairexpert

Goodness, dogs take up a lot of time, don't they? I handed back Doggie yesterday and he's adorable but I suddenly have a lot more free time. The girls were great at helping to walk him, but they're too young to do so without me so we covered a lot of ground.

Every single budget line is blowing out at once this month. School holidays are a killer! We had some extra income last month which will keep us in the black this month, but if it weren't for that I think we'd have gone backwards. I tried my best to keep things under control, but even things like - we went over to a friend's place yesterday and said we'd bring lunch, so in an attempt to keep things down we bought and roasted a chicken to bring along with some wraps and spreads, and we made a HM pizza from things we already had in the cupboard, and that's $35 gone. Three of us all needed haircuts this month. My mum's birthday. My birthday is at the start of next month so my main present's already been bought. Cross fingers for a frugal May!

Tahlullah

Keep going. I am reading even if not commenting. Yes, there are times when it seems all you do is spend, when what you really want to do is save. But, you need a life, and a new bra and a hair colour! Things to make you feel part of life.

You are doing great! Positive vibes to you.

Tx

mfmaybe

Echo that. The difference now is you are aware that these things are budget busting, and are keeping an eye on what else you could shave instead. Before starting this journey, you'd have spent the money anyway and wondered why the mortgage was so huge.

The trick is not to feel guilty about these things, otherwise what's the point in doing them?