Mum refusing dad permission to renew child's passport.

peachyprice

OP hasn't actually said what sex the child is, funny how it's assumed to be a boy

POPPYOSCAR

What does the child want?

I cannot see any court forcing a 14 year old child to go and live in another country against their wishes and those of the mother.

iammumtoone

peachyprice wrote: »

OP hasn't actually said what sex the child is, funny how it's assumed to be a boy

Good point I am guilty I assumed this not because of the behaviour, the only child I knew of to be excluded from a school was a girl. More the fact Dad is considering taking a 14 year old child from their home country and mother I find it hard to understand someone wanting to do that to a boy, let alone a girl. You are correct to point this out I was wrong to assume, it is irrelevant what sex the child is.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

To some extent, it is pretty normal for 14 year olds to be nightmares. The vast majority sort themselves out by their 16th birthday without being shipped off overseas, away from their parents and everything they know - especially if the purpose of the exile is to be 'taught discipline'. I think a lot of kids would take that as meaning 'I want you to be sent to a place where it's legal for you to be beaten' and won't respond particularly well to that threat.

As he considered how, if the kid is unwilling, even with a nice stamped piece of paper from the court, he is going to manhandle a 15-16 year old onto a plane or boat to go? It's not something that will be arranged quickly, courts take time, reports take time, passport applications take time. And if they reach 16 before it's sorted, they'll just leave home and the police will not force them to come back. Even before then, they could easily just run away.


There is also the question of whether it really is ethical to send a kid away to somewhere which is very likely to be a considerably poorer country - it's quite possible with how things are these days, that after two years, they wouldn't be able to get back into the country. Presumably Dad/Grandparents/Great Grandparents came here because it was a better chance than the place they started from - so sending somebody back is potentially condemning them to have fewer chances. Unless it's somewhere like Australia or Canada (possibly Cyprus), there's also the aspect of forcing them to have vaccinations, anti malarials, or risk them becoming extremely ill.


Social Services is probably thinking more along lines of out of town, not out of the country - and suggesting seeking legal advice is a polite way of saying 'we're not going to tell you no, but somebody has to, even if it comes down to it being a judge'.



I'm not fond of teenagers at the moment (bad day at work), but I don't believe that he has much chance of making this stick.

toniq

Might be totally irrelevant but you say dad doesn't earn a great deal yet child would be going to an English speaking school? surely that would cost?

Loads of kids are horrors in their teens at school and at home, majority out grow that phase and lead law abiding lives.

It all seems a bit extreme, who's to say child wont be troublesome in a new school abroad?

balletshoes

toniq wrote: »

Might be totally irrelevant but you say dad doesn't earn a great deal yet child would be going to an English speaking school? surely that would cost?

Loads of kids are horrors in their teens at school and at home, majority out grow that phase and lead law abiding lives.

It all seems a bit extreme, who's to say child wont be troublesome in a new school abroad?

The OP has said in their second post that the "other country" is English-speaking, which is why language wouldn't be a barrier.

Like others, I'm not at all convinced that the OP's friend (the father of the troublesome teen) has thoroughly thought through their idea of having a 14-year old leave both parents and the environment they consider home, to have them educated in another country. Even if Dad were to go with child for the duration of their education abroad, it would still be a major upheaval for the teen, and unless the teen was all for it and was the one itching for the move, as a parent I'm not entirely sure I'd be thinking it was even in the running for being a solution to the current problem.

Gettingtherequickly

Got to say guys, this is a complete minefield for me. As JoJo says, most do grow out of it, hopefully it will happen in this case. I have no idea what the child thinks of the idea of going, so will speak to dad.

I have learnt so much, simply from your observations, so will pass them on. Dad probably has tunnel vision on his view of what to do, which is purely because he wants the best, as any parent would, just needs to look into a wider tunnel.

Mojisola

Gettingtherequickly wrote: »

Parents separated, but dad is actively involved in child's (14) life. However, child is proving to be a nightmare and dad is desperate for them to be on straight & narrow.

Dad is from the Commonwealth and wants child to go to school in his home country as he feels that with more discipline & respect, the child will turn out to be the person he would like to see as an active, productive member of society, in fact he has organised a place. However, passport has expired and mum is refusing to allow him renew it as she doesn't want child to go.

It's a criminal offence to take or send a child out of the U.K without either consent from everyone who has PR for the child or permission from the court so it isn't the lack of a passport that's the problem - if Mum doesn't want the child to go, that's the end of it.